I had a dream about experiencing calf cramps last night. In my dream, I doubled over, and no one came to me. I never woke up completely, and I don't remember my legs actually hurting me, just in my dreams. This has something to do with what is really happening to my legs, particularly my left calf.
I meditated again after I walked. This is going well. Not only did I meditate, but I also worked on the reading article for the first time in a month since Dorothy sent me her edited version. I had done some work on it when it occurred to me that it was the wrong version. I went back to the email Dorothy sent me and started again.
At 10:30, I had a tutoring session with D. His memory for the multiplication facts is improving. It is more consistently correct. Yeah. Reading was better. He got more correct but had to be walked through the decoding process repeatedly. He still doesn't use cross-body blending when he runs into trouble, holding on to sounds. Yikes! How many times does he have to be reminded?
Marissa called from Progressive, and she connected me to someone higher up. I got the runaround. The Resolution Consultant, Rob, told me to contact the state department. I did.
The state representative told me everything they did was illegal. He asked what company I was with. Progressive. He said nothing. I asked if there were many complaints. He scoffed. He also told me that he used to work in California. He found that there are more problems with the Hawaiian companies in general. I have to file a complaint. The complaint may not win me my money back, but it will add to the list against them and set them up for a huge fine.
I called Marissa, my contact at Progressive, to tell her what I had found. Marissa didn't deserve what this company is about.
Then I took a nap. B. called. He was stopping at Costco. Did I want anything? Lemons, blueberries, and salad?
I continued working on my reading article. This has been a great day. If I do some work to advance my work in education, either writing an article to promote the work, or meeting with a student, it makes for a good day. While I did some good editing on the article, I still need to write a conclusion for it.
As I listened to Fresh Air, I sewed. That way, I can have my hands busy doing something other than Free Cell as I listen.
It was raining for my before-dinner walk. I feel less driven to get Elsa outside to do her business since I have put down the wee-wee pad. She hasn't used it for a while; she hasn't done anything else in the house either.
For dinner, I tried one of the frozen salmon patties I had bought at Costco, served with broccoli. I was disappointed: it was somewhere between fishy and tasteless. Too bad. I like salmon, but not this version of it. However, broccoli with butter never gets tired.
Watched the Bench, an English legal drama, again.
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Musings:
Yesterday, I wrote about the transformation of the Camden Police Department in New Jersey. Today, I want to address the problems that I think others see within the African-American community that they feel justify harsh police tactics. These same people, I believe, are opposed to 'mollycoddling' marginal groups. They look at those who make it from those minority groups in our current society and say, "See! There's something wrong with the rest of them."
These same people say, "Get over it. Slavery was 400 years ago." Let's start with that argument. We know now that trauma is passed on epigenetically. Many things are passed on epigenetically, but here I will focus on trauma because that's what the slaves experienced, and their children passed on in their genes to their 'freed' children. (A belated hats off to Lamarck)
Does this mean that the genes are immutable? No, of course not. Good experiences can also be passed on epigenetically. Unfortunately, the bad experiences resonate more loudly in our psyches. Why? The good doesn't need fixing. The bad does need attention. The enhanced focus on the bad is a survival skill, not some psychological aberration.
For people to recover from trauma, there has to be relief. The freed slaves barely adjusted to their newfound freedom while supremacists moved 'to put them back into their place.' Perhaps they could no longer own these people outright, but they could put them in such a financially disadvantaged position that they were effectively trapped.
The freed slaves were offered a plot of land. However, that land reverted back to its original owner when the former slave died. It was not passed on to their children. I also learned that African-American soldiers returning from WWII were NOT entitled to the GI Bill's benefits. How many returning white soldiers took advantage of the GI Bill and changed their lives and their children's lives?
I heard someone describe the situation in the following way: You sit down to play Monopoly with someone. Only you don't get the $200 starting capital, you're not given any loans, and should you be successful in any way, the property you acquire is taken from you. Sounds like cheating to me.
Some argue that there are minority people who become successful. True. I learned from a dog trainer that those animals trained with harshness will develop into two extremes. Those who survive will be super dogs, but those who don't will be a mess. The rule of the exception says nothing about the conditions in which their lives were forged.
I believe those opposed to welfare say that there is something inherently wrong with these people. They will make no effort on their own if we dole out support or equal opportunities. I'm sure that is true for some people. But most of the Afro-Americans I have met in my life go about living their lives as best they can.
Here's an example of someone damaged by trauma who never completely recovered. This man's mother was a drug addict; he was homeless in his teens. A lovely woman found him and married him. Lucky him! She has provided him with a home and a semblance of a comfortable life. Is he psychologically normal? Can he hold a job? Is he a pleasure to deal with? Not for most people. But his wife is his biggest protector. Yeah, for her.
Where's the problem? Well, for me, this man presents the same problem that some Afro-Americans do. Most of the problematic people come from abusive homes. Like the man I mentioned above, who is white as the driven snow, they don't seek ways to heal their wounded souls, and they pass on the damage to their offspring.
Someone once told me that a professor of his said, "Once you have decided on your belief about the nature of man, everything follows from that." I certainly haven't done a broad survey. From what I've seen, some people believe that an individual's nature is just that. I am not in that camp. I believe in transformation. If I hadn't, I would probably have killed myself sometime in my early 20s. I thought I could transform and find a way out for myself and others. I remember thinking, "If there is a way into this mess, there has to be a way out." I committed myself to finding that way.
Some take a more fatalistic point of view, not only of minority groups that they criticize, but also within their own families. Their point of view is, "That's the way they are; oh well, what you do about it?"
I don't disparage that point of view. I had to learn to be more accepting of others as they currently were, and forgive myself for what I was at the time. But there is a balance.
Mike and I achieved that balance with each other, or at least to some extent. We were able to ask each other to change things that were difficult for us. In doing so, we both had to look at ourselves as well as each other. Being able to do that was very enriching.
On the other hand, some things were too hard to change easily. We both worked on them. In the meantime, we had to accept each other's good intentions and enjoy each other. That worked. There was more good than bad in the marriage. For some, anyone in their in-group is considered basically good, with some problems. Those people get unconditional acceptance. Then there are the 'others that are not part of the in-group. They are considered basically bad, with some exceptions. The best they get is conditional tolerance.
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