I was awakened by a pain in my inner left thigh muscle. Okay, is my time up? The doctors have consistently said that eventually, I will need a total hip replacement (THR). One day I would be in so much pain, I would l have to take to my bed until I got the surgery several months later. But for today, I could still walk up and down the block with Elsa. So far, so good.
Before the Bikram class began, I worked on releasing the muscles between my shoulder blades on the left side. Doing that relieved the muscle tension in the left thigh. I find contracting the muscles between my shoulder blades also tightens my abdominals.
When I got home, I washed dishes while doing my oil rinse and downing my two cups of water. I loaded the car with my yoga stuff and with my computer. I had plans of stopping at Costco to get my four new tires on my way home. I figured I could work on the blogs sitting at the outside tables until the store opened, and I could do my shopping.
I stopped off at Safeway to return the Dr. Scholl's inserts I found in Mike's drawer and some Hersey's Milk Chocolate Bars with whole almonds. This is my second try to return the inserts. Target said it wasn't theirs, and now Safeway didn't recognize the bar code either. I only have one more place to try, Long's Drugs. It is possible that Mike may have bought them in Ohio, or even Princeton, and brought them here when we moved.
I decided I had too many other things to do today, and the tire thing at Costco would have to wait. I went home, showered, washed my Bikram clothes, did MELT, and used the Tiger Stick. The inner thigh muscle I worried about felt fine. I guess I can put off the THR again. I dressed and called Susan, St. Michael's secretary to see if she knew the name of a woman from church who was talking about suicide in response to losing her partner of 42 years. She recognized her immediately. She gave me her number.
I was planning to donate the requested 40 cans to the Food Bank for the 40 days of Lent. I found 10 cans that I will never use in the house but had to buy 30 more to drop off at church or somewhere else. I called the church to see if it was too late to donate food. Apparently, this is an ongoing ministry at St. Michael's, so any time in just fine. The Food Bank picks it up.
I also spoke to Susan about the arrangements for Mike's interment. Fr. Lio always digs the grave himself. She gave me the name of a company that makes headstones. Here's the start of a new project.
I boiled a pot of water for my soup and my weeding. The creeping greens are taking over my front yard almost overnight. This will require many pots of boiling water to get them under control- for now.
Paulette had filled a recyclable bag with vegetable garbage on Easter Sunday. As I carried it out to the composter, it broke. If I wait long enough, the bottom of the bag starts to breakdown, but that's not what happened here. The bottom of the bag ripped. What a mess! I cleaned it up a little at a time each time I go out with another pot of boiling water.
I called Costco to see if I needed to make an appointment to get 4 new tires. No, just come in.
I took my nap setting my alarm for shortly before 12:30 when the Social Security Department would call to interview me. I get so tired from doing Bikram, but I would never give it up. It's probably the one thing that guarantees my sanity. It's my daily meditation. The interview which I figured would take 15 minutes to half an hour took 1 hour. In the end, I was told that I had to send in my tax statement from Licking Heights because they never paid Social Security. I vaguely remembered that was the case, but in retrospect, it seems really weird that an employer would not do that. There were some claims that they gave very good retirement terms. Hmmm! Maybe not so much. Or, at any rate, their pay scale was one of the lowest in the state of Ohio. Apparently, they're not paying into Social Security is going to affect my payment even though I am getting Mike's widow benefits, and his employers always paid his Social Security.
The agent told me that I would have to send in an original copy of my marriage certificate. I told him I had sent it into SS to get Mike's March payment. I had called them about it and was assured I would get the documents back once they had been entered into the system. The guy on the phone checked; it hadn't been entered yet. Great! They could be lost in the mail or in the system. He said to just order another marriage certificate. I told him that Princeton wanted proof that I was married. He said, "Your marriage certificate is proof that you were married." Whenever I tell people about this business of needing proof that I was married to get my marriage certificate, I always get the same response. What??!!!
While I was on the phone, Zola arrived for our lunch date. Since I had only found out that morning when my appointment would be, I had warned her I might be on the phone. She arrived with a cooler bag full of food. Boy, have I ever trained people. Boy, am I ever grateful that they are willing to be trained. I am one lucky lady that my friends accept me as I am and the conditions for being my lunch/dinner guests. Thank you to all of you. I am moved by your generosity of spirit, not to mention food.
After Zola left, I had another nap. Between Bikram and life, I need a lot of sleep. I know grief is exhausting. I don't feel grief, but my body knows things are different and is making demands on me.
When I got up, Elsa and I did our walk. I came home, had dinner, and watched the Collection on Amazon Prime. I think it is well done even if it is a soap opera. The clothing is fun to look at. I wouldn't be caught dead wearing anything like that. Those clothes feel like a burden. Of course, if I were dead, I wouldn't have much choice about what I got to wear.
After Elsa and I took our before bed walked, I decided to heat up the Peas hot/cold packs I had bought in Oahu because my leg was still bothering me, I put both packs into the microwave at once. I didn't have the directions on how to them up, but I remembered something about 30 second and 40 second periods. I heated them for two or three 30 second periods, and finally one 40 second one. If you are wondering what can go wrong if you don't follow the instructions, I'm here to tell you. I was in the bathroom, washing my face and brushing my teeth while the microwave was running for 40 seconds; I heard a pop. When I opened the microwave door, one bag had ripped open, and the other one was so puffed up it looked like an oversized loaf of Wonder Bread. Anyone remember Wonder Bread? I left the exploded one in the microwave, figuring I would clean it up sometime in the future. No hurry. The other one I took to bed with me figuring it would cool down quickly. While the inflated clear plastic part of the bag dropped, the heat did not. Every time I tried to use it, it was clear that 2 seconds of contact was quite enough unless I wanted to be burned.
I turned off the light and said, "Goodnight, Elsa. Goodnight, Mike."
