I woke up around 7:30 and stayed in bed till 8:30. I showered and headed over to the house after texting Karin. She never answered. I assumed she was sleeping. When I got over there, it was just David, telling me to keep my voice down because everyone was asleep. I got to work writing and having my morning soup.
I finally took a walk. I usually do Bikram and 6,000 steps a day. I am way off my mark while traveling. The hills in Seattle are a challenge. I used my walking poles while I was here in case I found myself rolling down a hill. I called Dorothy while I walked. She was doing better. At least she's not in bed all the time. Dorothy and I talked about the state of the world. We always fall into that topic. I make some comment about the human condition. However, I want to make it clear; I am not a pessimist about the human state. I think we are pulled both ways, in our concern for others and our concern for ourselves, at all times.
I found a Catholic church, St. Joseph's. There was a group standing in the doorway. Most of the women were wearing black dresses. Because they were fancy, I assumed it was going to be a wedding instead of a funeral. I used the bathroom, sat in a pew, and did the rosary. It was good to have something familiar.
Like a 10-year-old runaway, I came home when I was hungry. I had some bread and cheese and some of Karin's birthday cake. Too much buttercream, at least it was good buttercream.
David, Karin, and I had dinner together. Pork, a great salad, and some bread. This is the most time I've spent with them. They were apologetic about not being able to spend more time with me. I miss Mike in this context, but otherwise, I'm fine. My purpose for the visit is to develop relationships with my family not visiting the city. While I wind up spending less time face to face, I had gotten to know them better than I would have under normal circumstances when they had their hosting faces on. They hopefully also feel that they have gotten to know me better.
The need to pay attention to me is different under this stress than if they had been okay. They would have been feeling they had to take care of me, entertain me. All that had been dropped. Stress can be helpful. The only remaining question: did I dodge the illness bullet? Can I go on with my travels, or should I don a face mask and board a plane for Hawaii from Seattle?
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Musings:
Someone compared my theories to EST and Scientology. What they share is a belief that we can clear out the worst of our neuroses. What they don't share is the same objective. I haven't read anything about either process for a while, but as I remember it, the goal of their work was success, basically getting what you want.
The goal of my work, as I see it, is getting what is best for myself and others, not necessarily what I think I want. Also, I don't see my wellbeing as independent of the wellbeing of others. I believe they are linked.
The other difference is the process. I think both EST and Scientology use bullying tactics. The very person who compared my thinking to theirs said that they pursue you once they know you're interested. Come on. I do the exact opposite. I want the client to be in control of their course. And I don't know what's best for people. All I can do to help them is a slow unpeeling to heal old wounds. Old wounds create detours.
