I woke up at 5:30 am, but I managed to stay in bed until 6:30. I walked Elsa around the whole block because I wasn’t doing Bikram today. I took a brown paper bag with me to pick up garbage. Good thing I did; I found two bottles along the way. The rest was just the usual small stuff. When I got home, I did my oil rinse, washed the dishes, and drank two cups of water, and ate some pretzels. I haven’t mentioned the pretzels before, but I eat a handful every morning. I worked on the blog; I got one sent out. Then I dressed for church.
I had to go to the 9 o’clock mass today at St. Michael’s, not the 10 o’clock at Holy Rosary as I usually do because Judy’s grandkids were being baptized. The baptism was magical. There were five children baptized this morning. It was part of the service, not something that occurred after the mass for just the family and friends. Mike did many of those baptisms. Judy was beside herself with joy. Jazzy, who is not a Catholic, was very moved by it.
I saw Melissa singing in the choir. I didn’t know she was back. Melissa travels all over the world with some organizations like Doctors without Borders to provide free medical services to those in need. I spoke to her about getting together.
When I got home, Yvette greeted me with her breakfast in her hand. She was eating with me for Mother’s Day. We had some plans for going to the beach, but I needed a nap first. Damon called while I was napping, but I wasn’t up for answering. I just lay there and smiled as I listened to his voice mail. I called him back when I go up. I asked him to ask August for the name of the blog site he recommended. Damon told me how well August was doing in school and how he does all his work on his own and gets good grades. Damie says they ask him regularly if he needs help, but he doesn’t. The kid is so independent, so reliable, so self-directed. These folks did something right.
Damon and I had a long talk about using physical therapy versus surgery to fix specific problems. Damon had many knee surgeries, including a meniscus cadaver transplant. He still has some issues with his knee but is committed to dealing with it without surgery. I talked about changing the way he moved in daily life. He said it was too much work to do that. I’ve heard that before. Mike would complain that a change I recommended was uncomfortable. Duh! If it’s different from what you usually do, it’s not going to be comfortable. The rule is. “It can be very uncomfortable, but it shouldn’t hurt, particularly no sharp pains.” In my years of dance training, I learned the difference between good pain and bad pain. People who haven’t had some form of athletic training are probably unfamiliar with the concept and consider all discomfort a warning of physical danger. Unfortunately, if we are going to make an improvement, some discomfort is going to be inevitable.
I talked about tricks I use to incorporate changes in my movement patterns. I will think of just focusing on the different move for the count of ten or for the number of steps it takes to get from my chair to the bathroom. If I’m walking around the block, I try to count to 10 or 20 as I emphasize one side and then the next 10 or 20 while I focus on the other side. However, I also become distracted. When I remember, I “Start again!” The more difficult the change is for me, the more quickly I become distracted, and the longer it takes me to remember to “Start again!” The biggie I’m working on now is how I use my abdominal muscles differently to breathe. I have always expanded my abdominal muscles to inhale and contracted them to exhale. Now, JJ showed me that I’m supposed to suck my abdominal muscles in and up to inhale and just relax a little to exhale. I find when I do it this way, I create more space between the top of my hips and the bottom of my ribs. In other words, besides giving my spine a good stretch with each breath, I’m getting a waist. This is a huge change for me, and it is not comfortable. If I remember to do it 5 times a day for 10 breathes each, that’s good. Over time, a long time, it will become automatic, and I won’t have to think about it at all ever again unless I want to modify more.
I’ve discussed this before: change can be used for good or bad. Some people use it to grow; some people use it to escape themselves. So sorry! That doesn’t work. “Wherever you go, there you are.”
Yvette came upstairs again, and we decided it was just too windy to go to the beach. I love it when I go to the beach, but it is hard as hell getting me out of the house. Good thing I have a great view. Yvette came up and asked if I would like to go to the movie. Nah. I’d have to leave the house and spend money.
I did some work on the blog while Yvette sat on the sofa doing something on her phone. This is something I miss with Mike, someone to sit within companionable silence. I remember that it was one of the things that made me interested in Mike from the beginning. He joined Dorothy and me on an excursion to the Brooklyn Botanical Garden. We all sat together quietly. I had already experienced that companionable comfortable silence with him once before.
I was struck by our ability to be comfortable with each other in silence immediately. It was on our second date. We went to the movies to see “The Way We Were.” I remember feeling comfortable standing on line with him saying nothing, just being with him. The things I miss most: loving him and being loved by him, his smile of delight when he looked at me, his continuing feeling that he was unbelievably lucky to have me in his life, and our companionable silence, our total comfort with each other.
Dorothy had called earlier, and I called her back. We chatted about the weather and family. Karin and David are planning to travel to the east coast later in the spring. They checked with their doctor about exposing Sam, their newborn, to the measles. I don’t think I would take a kid that young outside the house. Wow! This is scary. Dorothy and I had most of those childhood diseases since we were born in the 1940s before vaccinations became available except for the one for smallpox. We were lucky. I have a college friend who lost hearing in one ear due to the measles. I remember my parents talking about children who fell into permanent commas or died.
I walked Elsa and came more work on the blog. I had dinner, watched TV and cataloged some books. I walked Elsa again, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and went to bed. Good night, Elsa, Goodnight, Mike.
