Saturday, February 2, 2019, 7:30 pm

            Good news:  The results of the CT scan were favorable: no infection visible, some reduction in the fluids in his abdomen, but if anything slightly more liquids in his lungs.

            Mike was able to talk a little more.  He wants to know what is going on.  I told him he was very sick and in the ICU again.  I finally asked him if he was scared.  I told him to remember to put himself in the hands of God. I have never seen Mike use the rosary as a way of calming himself, but I decided to give it a go. WOW!  Shivani and I sat there together, reciting it. He fell asleep.  If I stopped, he'd become agitated. His blood pressure would shoot up.  Then we started the rosary again, he calmed down and dozed off.  I don't know if this will always be the case; I can only hope so. For now, the effect was dramatic. 

            His need to control is showing its face in some other situations. He's telling me to be quiet, hmm, more like shut up. This has shown up several times. Now in the past, he has often accused me of bibble-babble, which means I'm talking about something he's not interested in. I think it's safe to say I'm interested in more things than he is.  He has two reactions: Positive: I'm always interested in everything and interesting.  Negative: He's sick of my bibble-babble. 

     In this case, I think he wants me to stop asking questions and making suggestions to the staff.  Interesting: because he often told me, "If I'm in a hospital, don't leave my side." So while he is telling me to go, he is also telling me to stay.  Poor guy, he is totally lost. I'm exhausted from the effort and from the roller coaster ride.  However, there is another possibility. I asked him if he didn't want me talking to other people.  He nodded. It may be that he only wants me paying attention to him.  I must say, that would be out of character.  If all he can manage is telling me to shut up, I'll take it. We'll deal with this behavior once he feels better.  

Saturday, February 2, 2019, 1:02 pm

            Good news: This morning, we got great news.  The ICU doctor was actually excited. She said he was doing much better than expected.  The doctor who delivered this news made it clear that she was not optimistic about his chances of survival two days ago. 

           Bad news: by the time we got here from the hotel, the picture had changed. His pulse rate was up, and the surgeon, who is the chief doctor on his pancreas, said he may have an infection. He just returned from the CT scan, but we don't have the results yet. An infection in his abdomen means procedures they have been putting off because they are dangerous in themselves. 

         I think of this adventure as a canoe trip down, or is it up, the Amazon.  There are challenges along the way: a bask of crocodiles (checked the group noun on the Internet), rapids, a waterfall, etc.  Between each challenge, things look good. And then, here comes the next one: Will we survive it or not?

           I am also thinking of this experience in general as a trip up the Amazon: it will be very long and require a lot of patience and ingenuity.  Hopefully, Mike is up for this adventure. He's not the soul of patience.

          Good news: I think I may have mentioned this already. He is asking us to hug him.  He also asked for Damon, his son, who is here this morning.  He then asked for Dr. Lau, his kidney doctor. When I told him people were aware of his need for dialysis, he was relieved.  He wants to live.  He is also making it clear that he wants to go home.

        I am finding it exhausting talking to or texting each person individually about his condition.  I am happy to put you on the address list.  I will try to write the results of the CT scan as soon as I can.  However, If I'm attending to Mike, that becomes more difficult.

          Damon is planning to leave tonight for LA. He has changed his plans twice already this morning to catch later flights. The results of the scan will determine the next move.