Mike's death; Betty's life...: 01/17/26

Saturday, January 17, 2026

Friday, October 22, 2021

My leg bothered me last night. I assumed it had to do with how I was using it differently, muscle strain. I always have to wait to see what happens. It's always the same question: Is this the end of the road or a turning point with better to follow?

I put off using the new red Crocs. It was the first time I put them on that the toes on my right foot cramped, and the hammertoe started. I had to do something. My blue ones would wear out eventually, in the foreseeable future. My foot hurt immediately in the red Croc. I switched back to my old, worn-in blue ones. I resolved to find a way to wear the red ones around the house for short stints. When I came home, I flipped the back strap on the right shoe forward. That made it better.

Shouldn't there be a rule that your dog can't be more intelligent than you? Get this- Elsa often gets balls stuck under the sofa. I use a walking stick to sweep them out. When Elsa sees me coming, stick in hand, she runs to the edge of the sofa and shows me where the ball is. Today, I got a ball out from under, and she knocked it right back. This went on several times. Was this a new game? I swept it out one more time. The ball I had gotten out was her old one. On the last sweep, I pulled out two balls, the old one and a new one. Once I got the new one out, she stopped the game. Doesn't this qualify as tool use and interspecies intellectual empathy?

I had my weekly appointment with my counselor, Shelly. I worked on my grief for family relations. I'm a connector and reconciler; most of the members of my family are isolators. If they're reconcilers, it's not with me. My best family relationship is with my husband's ex-wife, my hanai sister, Jean. Our relationship was slow in growing, but we are best friends now. It shouldn't come as too much of a surprise that Mike's wives have a lot in common.

In terms of connection, I am the neighborhood yenta. I'm the one who gets to know everyone and works to have everyone know everyone. I take pleasure when people I know become friends and help each other with me or without me. Sometimes, that has backfired; I became the odd man out. For me, promoting that interconnection between people I know is important enough to take that risk. I played that role to a whole new level here in Hawaii. I love it! I still mourn the lack of connection in my family and between members of my family and me.

Shelly broke her own rule and spoke about herself. She has the same need I do. She said she is treated as an outsider in the small, rural Ohio community where she has lived for thirteen years. She cried. Boy, did I understand! It helped to hear that someone else has the needs I have and grieves as I do when this need is thwarted.

Later in the afternoon, I had my appointment with the PT assigned to my hip, Katy. She played with my hip, manipulating the bones from the side. She said there was plenty of space for one bone, I assume my leg bone, to move down, but none to move up. The manipulations had quite an impact. But her exercise instructions for the week were for my feet. My foot is a major concern. My grandmother's second toes climbed over her first. She could barely walk. My feet are showing the same problem. Doing 10,000 steps a day will be a challenge if my feet punk out on me.

On the way home from PT, I stopped at Home Depot. I returned the second plastic pot I bought to hold up the mailbox. Digging a hole in Hawaii is a significant project; you have to hammer through rock. Most of the mailboxes here are held up by cinder blocks, rocks, soil-filled pots, etc. It is rare to see one buried in the ground. Now I had a different idea. Darby's mailbox is held up with a pile of rocks. It looks good, and it won't fall apart as the pot I currently have had done. When I attended Zander's funeral the other day, I saw a massive pile of good-sized rocks Adam had removed from the hole he dug, large enough to hold a German Shepherd. He said I could have what I needed.

I also picked up a screen repair kit at Home Depot. How did I get a hole in the screen? It's a good four-inch gash. A bird must have driven its beak into it. There's no other way it could have been damaged. The screen sits behind furniture.

I had the sisters M & W at the end of the day. I did fifteen minutes of reading transcribed Carpenter text with M, emphasizing word families and sight vocabulary drill. Then I did fifteen minutes of Phase I decoding on the story she had written. That work is slow. I continued having M read selections on a fifth-grade level. She reads accurately enough, missing a suffix here or there. I think we're working for fluency and improved automaticity. That comes with practice, practice, practice.

As I did my before-dinner walk, I got a call from Patrick, Darby's husband. Did I have electricity? I wouldn't know because I have solar batteries. I called Mei, my immediate neighbor, to ask her if she had electricity. She had. Patrick just had solar batteries installed. The problem was with the installation. We still tried to figure out what was going on with the grid being inaccessible. Lutz, a fellow evening walker, heard me and gave some advice. He suggested Patrick call Helco to find out what they could figure out.

Thursday, October 21, 2021

I changed the emphasis of my gait again. I pushed my left hip to the side and back. When I lie down, the left hip is higher because the muscles on the left side of my back are shortened. When I sit, the left leg is 'shorter than the right. The knee is half an inch to an inch behind the right. However, when Katy measured my legs, they were the same length. Most, if not all, of the difference is caused by my spinal curvature. As one of my PTs said, I am a twisted sister. When I showed Katy my stride, pushing my left hip out. She said that would only address my IT band and not my piriformis. Then I remember an Ohio bodyworker telling me if I wanted to correct a postural problem, do the exact opposite of what you have been doing. I started pushing my right hip way out and back when I was twelve. I tried what she recommended. Yeah, it affects my IT band and all the muscles down my leg to my ankle. It feels right to me. I'll deal with the piriformis some other time.

My phone rang in the middle of driveway yoga. It was from 'unknown caller;" I hit the message button as fast as I could. I suspected it was an appointment cancelation for the PT appointment I had scheduled for 9 am. (I now have two physical therapists at two locations. The new one is for feminine problems. I'll leave it at that.) The phone rang again; it was the same number. I checked voicemail when class was over. Sure enough. The PT was in pain and unable to work today. My best guess is she blew out her back in her work. PT manipulations are hard on the body of the worker.

I almost forgot that I had organized my day around that PT appointment. I had several chores to do in town. I was already organized; things I needed to take with me were already in the car.

My first stop was the jewelry store. I discovered that I could no longer remove the two rings I had on my left hand. I had both cut off. I had my wedding band resized. The other ring was a diamond pinky ring my paternal grandmother got when she was twelve, which my uncle passed on to me when I was twelve. According to my calculations, the ring was bought in 1875. That makes it 146 years old; that's assuming it was bought new for my grandmother. The jeweler told me that the ring was badly worn down. Of the eight prongs holding a small diamond in place, only four were left, and they were on the verge of breaking. I had the ring refurbished. I picked it up.

My next stop was at my accountant's. She called and asked that I pick up my tax return from last year. I had entirely forgotten about it. After attending to that chore, I head to town to the UPS store to return a book I bought. The whole book was an infomercial for Daniel Amen's work. Yuck! I heard his TED talk and got wildly excited. Someone else was doing work similar to mine. He took images of people's brains. He said we should consider how people's brains work when we discuss either phycological or educational problems. I bought all his books. Very disappointing. He just prescribes lifestyle changes, including some elixir he sells. His imaging is just to show the before and after.

I did some research on him after I purchased the books. He is not well regarded in the neuroscientific community. Of course, I wouldn't be either -if they knew about me. Of course, I don't charge outrageous sums of money for my work. It is part of my tutoring fee, which is on the high end of commonly charged here in Hawaii. You can't get rich doing this work. I spoke to a neuroscientist once who knew of nothing like my work. It's so simple and so cheap. Neuroscience isn't up to application yet. It will come. When it does, I'm sure it will be under the medical umbrella and cost a fortune. Too bad. While I'm sure my method can't help everyone, I have had a lot of success with it. Then again, there is no such thing as a single method that helps everyone.

There were three people online before me at the UPS store and only one clerk serving customers. There was another one processing packages. From the packaging, I would say they were all Amazon returns. The woman before me, me, and the man behind me were all Amazon returns. We went through quickly.

I headed up to Long's. A large black truck crossed the center line and came into my lane as I pulled into the parking lot. I slammed on my brakes. She backed up and signaled for me to go ahead-no apology for nearly totaling my car and perhaps me. Fortunately, my reflexes are still functional. At least they were good enough to spare me a disaster. I had a six-dollar coupon for Long's. I picked up some facial moisturizer and three bags of Hersey's milk chocolate kiss with whole almonds on sale.

Then I went up to the Post Office to mail a StoryJigSaw Puzzle I had made for Ks Twins. I printed out the story on one sheet of paper. I printed a second copy and cut it up, so each word was on a separate piece of paper. The student has to reassemble the story. The objective is to strengthen sight word recognition. The students should be familiar with the story, so there is a good chance they can figure out the words. Then moving from left to right, one word at a time, they search through the displayed words to find the next word in the story. It means they have to hold the image and then, hopefully, the word meaning in their minds while searching. My chores done, I headed home.

I was supposed to have an appointment with Canada A this afternoon. The Tuesday appointment was canceled because mom thought it was on Thursday. It had been the preceding two weeks. I had switched it from Tuesday to Thursday because of conflicts on my end. I switched it back because it seemed to be mom's preference. She misunderstood. He canceled again tonight because he had to go back to dad's house to get a medication he forgot. The whole family was leaving for Disneyland the next day.

I was looking forward to speaking to Canada A. In our last session, he told me he felt 'patronized' by our work. We were working on organizing skills, using his morning routine. He said he thought he was capable of getting himself ready for school. His problem was with homework. I told him homework was a huge challenge. I drew a diagram on the board with morning routine and homework on the same level and lines pointing upward to a third circle labeled logistics. Ah, now he understood. I was using something he could do and presented no real challenge to learn a new skill. He apologized, I think, for his assumption. I'm actually not sure. I kept assuring him that I hadn't interpreted his behavior badly. Instead, I was grateful that he said something. But he went back to having to --- that's just it, I'm not sure. I want to make sure we discuss it again because I feel I left him feeling unheard. Everyone hates that feeling.

I had an appointment with 3rd grade A later in the afternoon. I have been worn out working with this kid. He is stubborn and resists suggestions, and his mother gives me agita too with her refusal to play the audiofile. I have tried BrainManagementSkills with him several times. It was clear that he was using his visual working memory to process sounds. I redirected him at least twice before, but he just reverted to his old pattern. With this child, there is a resistance to trying anything that doesn't sound' normal.' He desperately wants to be normal. Understandable, but he was going about it all wrong. Today I had him work on a story he wrote a while ago, reading it and applying Phase I of The Phonics Discovery System. OMG. He read the story perfectly. He said he remembered the story. That's part of it, but it didn't make much difference when he read the first story he wrote several months ago. This was really good. I will have him write a story in half the session and work on The Phonics Discovery System in the second half.

Darby called to get information from the neighborhood yenta, me. Did I know why the lady who lived across the street stood in front of her house leaning on the rock wall with her phone for a good part of the day? No. I had noticed that myself. I would find a way to ask. Also, did I know the name of the heavy-set man who walked in the evening? He had made several strange comments to her, nothing personal. Advice on how to cheat someone, etc. This fellow is a ball of hyperness and negativity. He complains how the people in Hawaii are not friendly. This is the Aloha state; it is committed to friendliness. If he can't evoke a friendly response here, he's screwed wherever he goes.

Later in the evening, I heard a woman at my front door. There was Mei, shaken to the core. She had stopped to pick up her foreign exchange student as he was walking in the street. Someone came up behind her, honked his horn, and cursed at there. Upset, she abandoned Mark and drove around the block. This is weird behavior for Hawaii six ways from Sunday. No one honks their horn here, and I mean no one. It's just lovely. People just wait. In this case, the other driver could easily have pulled around her. What was this about? Who was the man? Mei thought he was the man who lived across the street. Is that possible? Judy and I have both experienced him as a nice man. Was this evidence of prejudice against Asians? Is this the same person who yelled at me just because I was walking in the street? Our street is a quiet one. All walkers and runners do so in the street rather than on the unattended sidewalk. He told me I had no business walking in the roadway. It was for cars. Really? I don't know how we are going to unravel this.

Wednesday, October 20, 2021

Another wonderful night's sleep. I woke up around 4am. Again, I didn't want to get up that early. I tried meditating while lying down. It is doable, but it isn't the best. I got up the moment the alarm went off at 5:30.

I continued working on what I needed to do so to collate the video slides. I have made ten videos, each with snippets of the final video. I have gone through to select the best of the now available recordings. This was a lot of hard work. Sunday and Monday, I watched the various versions of specific sections of the video to see which one I liked the best. Then yesterday and today, I used the list I complied, went through each video to mark the starting point for each section.

I went for my short walks to take breaks. I modified the toe sling. I played with the second toe on my right foot to see what I had to do to prevent it from curling over the first toe. I thought I had to place the sling around the top section of the toe to best prevent it from its migration. Then I pushed down on the section of the toe closest to the foot. That made all the difference. I had been shoving the spongy toe separator into the side of the sling to increase the distance between the two toes. Now, I thought I would be better off placing that spongy thing into the sling on the top of the toe. That way, the shoe would press down on the spongy thing pressing the toe down. It's been working pretty well.

My blog counts have dropped precipitously. From a high of 200+, they fell to the single digits overnight. So far, they have still stayed above five. I would love to know what is happening. I can understand the low count; I want to know the cause for the high count.

I had Mama K's crew in the afternoon. Before we met, I called her expressing concern about Twin E. She had been the one who was doing better than Twin A. Now, she was falling behind. Was there a problem at school? Was her teacher making her feel bad about her poor reading? Was someone bullying her at school because of her reading problems? She was just calling out the first word that came to her mind, regardless of the letters on the page. Sometimes, the first sound of the word she called out might be the same as the first sound of the word written on the page, but not necessarily. When we worked today, I got a different impression. She was saying the first word that came to her mind because she wanted to be a good reader, and that is what she saw good readers doing; Words just magically came to their minds. She was one of the students who thought she must have been absent the day the magic was passed. Yes, the way words pop into the minds of good readers does seem like magic to children who can't do it. When you think about it, it is magic, totally.

Twin A was off to a doctor's appointment with mom. I didn't work with her today. Her mom said she read a book. Mom watched her use my crossbody blending technique to figure out the word. You go, girl.

Then I had K. The primary paper his teacher had sent home was there for him. I had him work without a model. He made a mistake saying the sentence, "The quick lazy fox jumps . . ." He stopped and corrected himself. Then he wrote the sentence and his first and last name without a model before him. I used to take him ten to fifteen minutes to write these words. Today it took under three minutes. I couldn't believe it. He said he is using the primary paper in class. The difference was amazing. I asked him if he took spelling tests every week. He said no. Hmmm! I wonder. I wrote his teacher to ask her.

I had Dash later in the day. He is doing so much better. The turnaround was when he got his left hemisphere auditory processing center to function and listened to the audiofile. He still had trouble remembering that the final y in a longer word was likely a long e. I also repeatedly reminded him that the syllable structure dictated a short vowel sound, VC, a vowel followed by a consonant sound.

I asked him how his reading went today in school. For the first time, he remembered reading there. I told him his teacher was going to expect him to do more work. He said he knew. Did she tell him? No, he could tell. Was he able to do that work? Yes. Was he surprised? Yes. Yay!!!!

Tuesday, October 19, 2021

I slept well till the early morning hours. Then some troubling thoughts interfered with deep sleep. I did manage to doze on and off, but that's never as good deep sleep.

I just finished reading the section on Buddhism without Belief by Batchelor, where he describes his own problems with negative thinking. No, that's not quite accurate. It's not negative thinking is ruminative thinking. We get emotionally caught by a thought, either positive or negative, and dwell there to the exclusion of being present in the here and now. I need to be reminded that I'm not the only one who gets caught. The trick is having the skill to free ourselves from the grasp of obsessive thinking. That's what separates the men from the boys.

I love the Vipassana approach to meditation because it doesn't just teach how to stop obsessive thinking; it teaches how to heal the wound that caused it in the first place. It does it with calm awareness of sensations on the body. Some may think, how can that help? You're not solving the problem that has upset you in the first place. No, but it helps me regain balance, so I am better prepared to solve the problem in the present. For those of you who are puzzled, wondering how observing bodily sensations can help, I can appreciate that. You have to experience it to believe it. This method doesn't just resolve emotional disturbances; it can help with physical pain.

During my first sit, I was in terrible pain. When I sat cross-legged, my left inner thigh (yes, it was already damaged before Mike made it worse) hurt. To get relief, I would straighten my legs and lean against a wall. I fractured my coccyx when I was twelve. I rediscovered that pain in that position. I returned to the cross-legged position for relief. I finally locked my legs into the cross-legged position and did Vipassana mediation. I didn't think of what I experienced as pain. I merely described it, pulling, burning, pulsating, etc.- and the pain stopped. Wow! That made me a convert.

I think most people just push unpleasant thoughts aside. I wasn't good at that. I was trained to pay attention to my feelings without the complimentary training of dealing with them. Thank God I found Vipassana; it was life-changing. It's hard to know what goes on in other people. I do know that I don't appear to be distressed to many people. I don't know that I am any more distressed than anyone else. It may just be that I announce it when I feel that way. I believe in reconciliation. Reconciliation between two people and reconciliation between the many aspects of myself. It's worked for me. However, I think my perspective is confusing for others. If they were to say something, they would have to be at their wit's end. I don't pretend to be at my wit's end. However, I have to consider that others don't function as I do and my announcing a disturbed state of mind is a trigger for them. I didn't have to explain anything to Mike. I could just ask for a hug. It was an immediate soporific.

I call Darby, a friend I made in the neighborhood. She is a piano tuner. She has clients pleading with her to tune their pianos. I learned there are only four piano tuners on the island, and two of those have been off-island for a while, perhaps because of Covid. While Hawaii may be the safest place in the nation, people went to the mainland to help their families during the shutdown. Darby has concerns about going to people's houses and being exposed. She feels badly saying about saying no to people.

I had Dash later in the day. He is doing so much better. The turnaround was when he got his left hemisphere auditory processing center to function and perhaps listening to the audiofile. He still had trouble remembering that the final y in a longer word was likely a long e. I also repeatedly reminded him that the syllable structure dictated a short vowel sound, VC, a vowel followed by a consonant sound.

Monday, October 18, 2021

My leg is either a source of concern or better than it has been in years. I can feel it’s stronger; my atrophied muscles are waking up. I was inspired to mow the strip in front of the house. I went looking for the manual lawnmower. It was down below in front of Yvette and Josh’s quarters. I couldn’t find it. I texted Yvette, asking where it was. It was under a cover. I doubt I even registered that there was something covered. Getting the lawnmower going was hard. I had to lean into it. Once I got one strip done, the others were easier. When I was finished, I felt muscles I hadn’t used in a while. This was a good exercise.

I finished watching all the videos I made and comparing each slide, and selecting the best version. Many had to be redone.

Someone had signed up for reading support. Julia had even texted me to let me know she had. When I signed in, I was alone. At first, I thought the problem was on Julia’s end; she forgot to let the person in. I checked my Gmail account. The visitor had canceled at the last minute and rescheduled for next week.

I finally got around to vacuuming Elsa’s poop spots. I let her poop dry before I picked it up. (Remember, this is a screened-in porch area (lanai). It makes it easier. I applied the enzyme; All I had left to do was vacuum up the residue with my Rainbow after soaking the spots with water. This combination leaves my carpet spotless. I think Elsa does her business there to tell me when to give the carpet a good vacuuming.

I watched a YouTube video on animal and human reunions. The animals are beside themselves to see their beloved human. We’re talking about geese, lions, cheetahs, as well as dogs. Elsa would never greet me this way. She barks when I go out for one of my short walks. Sometimes I come back and ask her if she wants to join me after all. When I return home, she comes with a ball in her mouth. “Throw it,” is all she ever has to say. She loves sitting in my lap when she’s scared. A loud noise, a banging door, or a firecracker will send her scrambling for my lap. Otherwise, not so much. She is never a lap dog. When I do have her on my lap, she stands. However, she is a neck dog. She loves being draped over my shoulder and wrapped around my neck.

Yvette called. She is traveling over to Hilo on October 26 to visit a friend who is a great cook. Her friend plans to make a Shepherd’s pie for Yvette. Yvette proposed we share it for dinner on the 27th, Mike’s 81st birthday. She figures he will be thrilled we had a homecooked meal.

I had noticed that his birthday was coming up. Mike and I didn’t make a big deal about birthdays; we celebrated each other every day. But I was reminded to request a mass for Mike. I had some vague memory that Brenda had made the arrangements. Sure enough. She took care of his birthday this year and his death date, March 3, 2022. I also took care of his birthday for 2022. Hopefully, I’ll remember to keep this going. Having the masses said for him doesn’t mean that much to me, but I know it would mean a lot to him. I need to remember to order them as long as I live and have Yvette continue it as long as she lives, maybe Damon too. It is what he would want. And I want what he would have wanted. I still want to make him happy.

The gravestones are finally in. It took several months between order and arrival. I got weekly updates. I had no idea why. I got a notification they were in and an additional date. I thought it might be the availability date and the must-pick-up date, after which they returned the item. I called today. No, no. The arrival date indicated that the gravestones had were in. but they hadn’t been uncrated yet. They would call me when they were ready for pick up.

I watched another Vera. The scripts are great; the acting is great. I’m going to need a break. It’s like eating rich food every day. It gets to be too much, and I don’t appreciate it anymore.

_____-______-_____

Musings:

Dehaene argues that the computer analogy is not an accurate way to describe the way the brain works. I heard this before but not why. I thought it had something to do with the analogy denying the spiritual aspect of human consciousness, but no. He says while the computer only computes digitally, the human mind computes by analog. In other words, the human mind relates to the word through its senses. For the human mind those numbers stand for something that’s out there. For the computer, there is no out there. It’s all in the numbers and the algorithms. That’s all, folks.

I like the computer model as an analogy for the human mind not because of its software but its hardware. I think our working memory can be compared to our computer monitors that hold the visual image and produce sound, while our long-term memories are analogous to the hard drive. We cannot access information from the hard drive or our brains without special knowledge and skills (think surgery and poking specific parts of the brain with a metal probe).

Sunday, October 17, 2021

I slept in. I had some sadness over troubled family relations. On the upside, I got a postcard from my nephew. He got married and moved to England. He reported that he enjoys married life and is looking forward to getting his MA in screenwriting and finding work. The postcard was a great picture from the wedding. It’s a small moment. He and his wife are smiling at each other. Those smiles are worth building a life on. He says he is also going to look for work. He may have to work internationally on some Internet connection. While he has EU citizenship and can work in the rest of Europe, he can’t in England. He will need a work visa.

I had a long talk with Julie today. I had known that his firstborn son was a crossdresser who made his living performing in NYC and died of AIDS twenty-five years ago. When she first told me about him/her, her tone sounded dismissive. I got a very different impression today. She told me that he performed as a drag queen under his family surname. He asked his mom if she wanted him to use a different one. She said, “No, you’re our son, and we love you.” As she talked about him, she alternated pronouns. Her son fully identified as female, although he never had any sex-change surgery. At first, I thought he didn’t because it wasn’t available back then. No, Julie assured me, it was. She also told me that the local high school had her son use the staff bathroom. Apparently, he was out and went to school dressed as a female. Wow! I can’t imagine that happening in NY, where I was from. Of course, I am the same age as Julie and Vince. Their son went to high school a good twenty-five years later. I still can’t imagine the schools, the communities I lived in, responding in such an open way.

I finally found the balls Elsa loves online. I put in multi-colored balls with knubs or spikes in a Google search, and up it came, the exact balls she loves. Got it! I am so happy. Her preference for this ball is so apparent.

I got to work evaluating the videos I had recorded to find the parts that I thought I could use in the final video. The video is made up of slides with me speaking about them. There are seventeen slides in the Phase II video. I made a check-off grid. As I watched, I evaluated each section to see if it was good enough. Most were not. Ow! I was going to have to start over again.

My dinner reading is Dahaene’s Math Sense. He says both sides of our brain respond to numbers. My guess is the left responds to the numeral and the right to the physical sense of the number. He says the brain doesn’t respond the same to nonnumerical words. Maybe I didn’t read that right. The brain still has to pull up the concrete image for an apple. Doesn’t the right brain get involved in doing that?

Saturday, October 16, 2021

Another wonderful night’s sleep. I am so lucky. A few complaints from my left leg, but I completed 4,000 steps. How bad could it be? The problem is the muscles around my hip joint don’t fire. The question is, why?

I ran into a woman I hadn’t seen in a long time on my morning walk. I recognized a familiar gait as she walked toward me, but I couldn’t figure out who it was. Paulette. No, not Judy’s sister, just some woman who lives in the neighborhood I haven’t seen in a while. She had been in Europe, Croatia. She has a family home there. Loves to visit. She said it is more open and relaxed there. People walk around unafraid of Covid. While they have a low vaccination rate, they don’t allow anyone who isn’t vaccinated and tested. For now, they have a low vaccine count; I hope their luck holds out. Eventually, that strategy gave out in Australia.

I had a productive day. I gardened, washed the kitchen floor, and talked to Damon. I told him Mei, my neighbor, offered to lend me their futon over Xmas. I wanted to buy one for the library so August can invite a friend to join us over the Christmas vacation. Judy said Costco has a good one, but it’s not in now. I have to take a look at hers. Damon and his mom bought an expensive one for her new house so Damon and Cylin could stay there comfortably. I don’t know that I’m prepared to go that high-end, but I want to check out the style. It is different from the traditional futon Mike and I had before replacing it with those miserably uncomfortable leather recliners.

Then I showered and had a session with adolescent D. We took on some hard words today. Yesterday, he had a breakthrough. He rocked it. I warned him, and myself, not to be disappointed if he didn’t do as well today. The learning trajectory doesn’t go in a straight line up. It goes up and down. Also, today we had particularly hard words, Smithsonian, Institution, Centennial. I used the second method of Phase II of PDS for word decoding multi-syllable words. I asked him to name all the vowels in the words, and I wrote them down on the Zoom whiteboard – just the vowels. Then he decided which consonants to add on and in which order. If a consonant can be added on the right after a vowel, that’s a good place to start. He did somewhat better in holding on to sounds and blending- somewhat. It’s still a dramatic improvement from where he was when we started.

He still gets stuck on the most common sight words. I used to think it was because they went wrong when these students who have trouble started reading. But adolescent D or sixth grade D gave me a different point of view. They are overlooked because the student puts all his focus on the next ‘difficult’ word. That means it is an attentional problem. The image of the word doesn’t make a sufficient imprint on the visual working memory. It’s a lack of sensory input, and the brain can’t respond. I asked him if he would be willing to work with sight words in clay. This is a traditional multisensory approach. Also, Ron del Davis developed a method of teaching using professional modeling clay. I bought that stuff. It’s tough to work with. Struggling to form the letters with this material teaches the mind to attend to the word and make a deep sensory input. Adolescent D said yes; I contacted his mom and asked her to buy modeling clay in the local art store. (We have a fantastic one here.)

I had both of the sisters today. We did it a bit later because W, in fifth grade, had a soccer game. When they did come on the Zoom an hour later, M, the first-grader, was sitting in a car. They were still at the park. Okay. She did an amazing job focusing despite the new context and distraction of her sisters and cousins playing in the park while she worked. We read the Carpenter stories, #2-5. She can read stories #2-4 easily at this point. She has to work to read story #5, but she reads it better and better each day.

Today I started working with the first story she wrote. I just had her read the words she could recognize. I circled them. I wanted her to see how much of the text she already could read.

Then I had her sixth-grade sister, W. Her word recognition, decoding, and reading voice have all been good if a little slower than ideal. We are mostly just practicing the skills she already has in place.

Judy called to ask me if I would be free in the next hour. Adam, Jazzy, and the kids had all driven to the vet to have Zander put down. Zander is a German shepherd Adam and Jazzy took in when his owner moved into a condo and couldn’t keep him. Zander was diagnosed with a badly enlarged heart. They would have put him down a while ago, but he kept perking up and going up to Judy and Paulette’s house to play. He was an amazing dog. The sweetest, most loving dog you could imagine. His loss was particularly hard for Judy. While he wasn’t her dog, he lived on the same compound, and she saw him daily as he went around with her six-year-old grandson. Judy saw Zander as the dog she had always wanted. He was just like Rin Tin Tin – a perfect dog, loving, playful and loyal. I experienced Zander’s wonderful personality when I met him while walking Elsa. He was everything Judy said he was.

Judy called to say Adam and his family were on their way home. I walked over to their house just as Judy, Howard, and Paulette’s came down the driveway. We all gathered on the front lawn. Adam had dug a hole large enough to bury Zander’s body. Adam carried Zander’s wrapped, limp body from the car and placed him in the hole. The pickaxe was lying nearby. Paulette had gathered flowers for all of us to throw in the grave. Judy had a prayer for a deceased animal which we all read. Then Adam used the pickaxe to pull the loose soil over Zander, covering the hole. Leon, his six-year-old son, had his own pickaxe and worked by his father’s side to help fill the hole.

I left shortly after the end of the service. My leg made a dramatic turn for the worse. Michael’s muscle was spasming. I made it down the steep driveway and walked home. I spent the next hour lying on the sofa, moving the acupuncture pen over my left leg and left lower abdominal muscles. When I was through, I felt great. Better than I had in a long time. As usual, this scare with my leg was a precursor of an overall improvement. We’ll see. What else can I say?

I watched Vera again tonight. While it is great, bingeing spoils the effect. I need a break soon.

Friday, October 15, 2021

I slept straight through to 3:30. That's five hours straight. I suspect I didn't drink enough water yesterday. After 3:30, I was only dozing and mediating. I should have gotten up, but the thought of being up and about at the hour makes me uncomfortable. It shouldn't; I can easily nap later in the day.

I had an appointment with my therapist/life counselor. I worked on a trauma that occurred when I was seven that involved my mother. I believe she did something by accident that scared the hell out of me, and I believe scared the hell of her too. The two of us stood together for less than a minute, frozen in shock. I have never forgotten that moment. Neither have I worked on it directly, even though I have always known it is the root of a core issue. No, I am not willing to share details; maybe someday. What I did share about it gave Shelly a new insight into that type of trauma.

I tried a strategy I learned from a Mariel healer many years ago. I introduced my eight-year-old self into the scene to protect and rescue the child. I have done this with many clients. It is a fantastic method. Here's the problem; I usually have the adult enter the scene slowly. Can you imagine suddenly having a total stranger announcing they're here to rescue you? I have the current self enter a space and sit quietly. Since the child is usually very young, they are not frightened by an adult sitting in the same room. The older self then waits for an opening; the child notices them. I know it sounds creepy with today's knowledge of child molesters. The difference between a predator and a non-predatory is the predator wants to take something for their own benefit that the victim does not want to give. The helper wants to give the child something for her own sake and waits until signals she's comfortable receiving that help. The older version of self only wants the best for the younger self. To that end, she doesn't want to scare the shit of the kid by coming out of nowhere.

Once the younger self creates an opening, the older self moves in to make a connection. The visualization usually starts with some shared activity. When the time is right, the older self can say, "I'm you all grown up. See, you survived. You made a life. You turned out okay. I'm here to help you now." The help is freeing the younger self from that moment of trauma.

In this case, the older self couldn't present in a subtle, unobtrusive way. I presented as a glowing presence. I had to say, "Come to me, and you can get out of that situation." This isn't an offer to a child in an actual situation. This is an offer to a memory of self. My younger self saw the benefit of coming with my older self and being freed from that moment of trauma. But then she didn't want to leave her mom. She feared leaving her alone would be traumatic for her. Not because her daughter was suddenly gone, but because she would have to face her own traumas. She would become unraveled. I felt so sorry for my mom. I think my younger self finally joined my older self, but I'm not sure.

I spent time during the session in grief for Mike's traumas that irrevocably altered his life and made it more difficult. I marvel that I never felt resentment for his failings and the downright damage he did to me, literally in the case of my leg. The only thing I can figure out is he gave me something so essential; the rest was close to irrelevant. I never saw myself as mistreated. I think I see this in other relationships. I no longer wonder how people can put up with each other when there is evident love, adoration present.

The other day the vet called to say that they had finally received a shipment of Science Diet. They have been out for months. I had already picked up a bag of an alternate brand and set aside enough of the old food to transition. In the meantime, I discovered Yvette and Josh have been f getting the same Science Diet online. They get the largest-sized bag for their two dogs, one Elsa's size and one larger. She proposed we share that bag. I headed into town to do some chores.

My first stop was the vet to return the other bag of dog food. Then I headed to Cosco to pick up the new remote for the window air-conditioner in the study. Wow! Over two hundred dollars. The clerk was surprised too. Okay. When I got it home, I stuck it in the wall holder with the plastic still on it. I don't need it. I figure if I don't put batteries in it, maybe it won't rust.

I had the sisters in the afternoon. I am seeing a significant improvement in W's oral reading. Her word accuracy is pretty good, her fluency is better, and her use of context clues to get the correct word is great. M is still reading the Carpenter material over and over, using memory to support the reading and using repeated reading to memorize words. I started story writing with her to create material with a more diverse reading vocabulary than the Carpenter materials provide. Her imagination is lean and verbal expression in storytelling is limited.

Right after them, I had a session with adolescent D. I saw a leap. He held on to sounds better, repeating what he had said two seconds before, and he also showed improvement in blending. I will have to remember to tell him that learning doesn't go in a straight line. No, it's two steps forward and one step back.

I finally found the type of ball Elsa likes on Amazon. It is a small knobby multicolored ball with a light that flickers as it rolls. I had tried to find it before, with no success. I am so happy.

Thursday, October 14, 2021

I was peaceful for most of the night. I felt grateful for the reconciliation of all my parts. We know that we are all of at least two minds, if not many, many more. For most of the night, there were no internal conflicts. Then shortly before I woke up, negative thoughts entered. I was having a problem with my Brit box subscription. I felt overwhelmed and helpless about resolving this situation. It is hard to get someone on the phone to solve a problem. However, we are talking about ten dollars. Even if I couldn’t get the subscription to work and have access to Brit box programs, how big a deal was that? Nonetheless, my mind was off and running. I felt trapped and helpless. Really?? Some deep breathing got my mind off that thread. However, I am endlessly amazed at what my mind does.

How I can be doing well and -bam- some miscellaneous thought ensnares me? However, it also works the other way. With a bit of effort or sometimes a joyful event, and I can swing the other way. While I had some bad days recently, for the most part, this all passes quickly, the highs and the lows. At this point, I find it interesting to observe the fluctuations. When I was young, it was all desperation. Now, it’s mostly peaceful with some unexpected and some expected turns. Reading Batchelor’s book, Buddhism without Beliefs reminds me this is not just my problem. Two major religions, at least, address this problem directly, and they’re both over 2000 years old. The question is, why does the human mind do this? Because I have an evolutionary perspective, I assume it has some survival benefit. The only thing I can think of offhand, it is a form of social hypervigilance. If the theory that social conformity was/is rigid in a survival setting is true, constant self-appraisal of conformity to outside expectations would have a survival purpose.

I ran into Vince walking alone this morning without Julie. I have known for a while that he makes and sells fish jerky. I learned more about yesterday and today. Yesterday, I learned he has the best recipe. He said, “Secret formula.” Julie said, “Teriyaki sauce.” Today, he told me more about his elaborate setup. He has driers and refrigerators. He told me how he maintains an emasculate kitchen. He said if he had one bad batch and his reputation would be ruined. He only sells to people directly. Some then sell to others for a profit. He never sells to retailers. He makes a decent living.

I had an appointment with a podiatrist early this morning. I did an electronic check-in. I went to what I thought was the correct waiting area. After a short wait, I heard, “Betty?” Why would anyone near the entrance be calling my name? “Betty David-Ross?” There couldn’t be two of us. I walked toward the voice. Right wing, wrong floor. The nurse had come down from the 2nd floor to get me. How lovely!

My foot is much better. I was no longer concerned that my foot would get worse and worse and leave me unable to walk. While the toes were a little angled, the numbness was almost gone. The doctor had tons of information for me. He said the first metatarsal is shorter than the second in 99% of people. He also said 2nd and 3rd should be the same length. Mine are pretty even. He showed me I had an extra bone mass. Those are normal and cause no problems. He started to recommend regular shoes but backed off. He finally said they’re better than flip flops known as slippers, which are standard footwear here in HI. He saw Crocs as a step up. He recommended the sling I had bought to bind the second toe to the third to restrain it from climbing over the first one. I was happy I went and got additional information.

I stopped off at Cosco on the way home. I had forgotten about ordering the remote for the air conditioner. I had stopped by there to see if my old one could be fixed. They put in batteries to test it. They didn’t work. I thought it was worth trying to see if I could scrap the contact points and get a better connection. That didn’t work. Then I needed the model and the serial number of the air-conditioned I had to order the replacement. I took a picture of the plaque and presented it to the clerk. The poor woman was so anxious, constantly telling me that it wouldn’t be long before she got into her computer to get the information she needed, and then it wouldn’t be long before the new one arrived - only be a few days. I couldn’t calm her. I assured her it had been over two years since I had a remote; another year was just fine. Besides, I had a book. I stood there reading. She interrupted me at least a dozen times.

The book I was reading as I stood there waiting was Buddhism without Belief. I was reading the chapter where he describes what HIS mind does, flipping from positive to negative thoughts, seeing challenges to self all over the place. So glad to read this. It reminds me this is part of the human condition. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with me. All society demands of me is a degree of behavioral conformity.

Bodyworkers always comment on my high degree of kinesthetic awareness. I’m off the charts. What I am now is nothing compared to what I was when I was younger. Most people see it as a positive. The bodyworkers say most people have minimal body awareness. I see the negative side; it makes me aware of every mood shift. Thank God I found Vipassana. It taught me how to achieve equanimity. It teaches there are two wings to a bird: awareness and equanimity. My awareness way surpassed my equanimity. Learning Vipassana meditation was the perfect for for me. It utilized my overdeveloped awareness for my healing.

Vipassana mediation starts with “watch your respiration.” The verbal guidance is provided by the original leader via recordings. He speaks with an Indian accent. When he says, “Watch your respiration,” it sounds like he’s sayings, “watch your desperation.” I laugh every time. That first part teaches how to suppress the monkey mind, but it is not the healing part of the mediation. The healing part is the Vipassana; it involves observing the sensations on the body (awareness) with a calm mind (equanimity). If you can observe your respiration to calm your desperation, then you can observe the physical manifestations of your desperation with a calm mind, and guess what- It just goes away. A truly remarkable process. Buddha was indeed a genius.

I checked my public blog numbers every day. For the past week, they’ve been running in the triple digits. Yesterday, it was over 200 views, today 16. My guess was yesterday was the last day of some English language course. Is there one teacher who teaches English in three different countries: Hong Kong, the USA, and Indonesia? I’d love to know the story behind these numbers. What seems clear, exposure doesn’t guarantee someone will continue reading it.

I spent an hour going through all the videos I recorded on Zoom. All the ones I deleted were on Phase I. That video is completed and posted on YouTube. I have to find the best of what I recorded for the Phase II video.

I contacted Amazon customer support. I got into the Prime Videos and watched another Vera. Ah!!

Tuesday, October 12, 2021

Slept very well, no on and off dozing at any point. When I got up to pee, I fell right back to sleep. Lucky I don't fall asleep on the toilet. I got up promptly when my alarm went off because it was yoga day.

I didn't walk that long because my leg muscles were in complaint mode. Again, I had made a change. As a result of the observations of my PT, Katy, and my acupuncturist, Jennifer, I figured out that I had to raise my right hip and move it over to the left. Both saw my piriformis was tight. Jennifer thought it was because the muscles in the front of my thigh were pulling too hard. As I played around, I concluded that the muscles on the left are strained because they are pulled too far to the right.

I got home in plenty of time to work on the computer and get ready for yoga. Yvette brought up some food she got from her friend, Christine when she visited her in Hilo, a corn and rice soup and a lentil and rice mix.

It was just Yvette, Scott, and me in the driveway and Deb on the phone from Seattle. Her house here just sold, and they bought one there. Perfect timing! Yoga is always good, and it gets better. I'm always surprised when the hour is up.

Yvette and I talked about dogs and dog food after the class. Little is overweight and is on a diet. Her thyroid problems make it hard for her to lose weight. I asked her what brand of food she was going to use. We were both on Scientific Diet for sensitive skin. She said she was using the same thing. How was she doing that when the vet was getting any in? They were ordering it online. How, when you need a prescription? The vet issued it for the online order. What???? Why couldn't I do that? Why did I have to change brands? Yvette and Josh order the largest-sized bag; I always get the smallest. She said I should just get the food from them. This will probably make it cheaper for me. Now, I have to figure out how much I will owe them.

I had an 8:40 dental appointment. I am getting a Snap-on Smile for my messed-up lower teeth for my Zoom presentation. I don't think of it much when I work with the kids. My screen is only a small one in the corner, and we're both so focused on the work, my teeth are hardly an event. However, I can't stand the look when I go full screen.

Chris, the dentist, made the mold. His wife, KC, his assistant, noticed that I was still reading Buddhism without Belief by Bachelor. She thought I would be finished with it already. I told her I only read that book when I'm waiting on checkout lines and in medical offices. I was reading three other books, two on neuroscience and Merton's Seven Story Mountain. I read a few pages at a time, particularly the neuroscience books. The dentist asked me what I got out of the neuroscience books. This led to a discussion of BrainManagementSkills, a method I developed for helping people change how they use their brains. Then I had a session with the dental hygienist, Roxy, KC's sister. (Their mother is the receptionist.)

Roxy said it was time for another set of X-rays. Chris found about half a dozen cavities, all under my caps. OW! I destroyed my teeth by having a few Hersey's Milk Chocolate kisses with whole almonds and then laying down for a nap without cleaning my mouth first. I marinated my teeth in a sugar slurry. I'm paying for it now. I have become a maniac mouth cleaner since the dentist saw what I had done to my lower front teeth. Roxy checked: did I floss, did I use that little brushy thing between my teeth, did I brush at night before I went to bed, and finally, did I use a mouth wash with fluoride. She told me the fluoride even protected existing cavities from getting worse. It created a barrier. I just started using mouthwash; fortunately, I have been using Crest with fluoride. I have tons of it already.

I headed home immediately after the dentist and went down for a short nap before my session with adolescent D. Hawaii is on Fall break now. I asked his mother if she wanted to up the sessions. Yes, let's add Tuesday and Thursday. I thought I'd have trouble getting him on, but no. he was right on time, and there were no complaints.

I used the second method I developed for decoding words multi-syllable words. The first approach was just to underline the vowel letters, then add the following letters orally, and then the letters that preceded the generated set. Now, I asked him immediately to name the vowel letters in the word as I wrote them on the Zoom whiteboard. If you don't recognize a written word, you must determine the number of syllables by the number of vowel letters that make vowel sounds. For the word California, he said, "a, o, i." He had recognized the word. When I asked him why he left out the other vowel letters, he said people say the word leaving out sounds. Maybe some do, but that's not a good strategy approaching any word. Assume all the vowels have a purpose to start. When you wind up with a wonky pronunciation, then you can make changes. D also ran into trouble identifying common words He read for, and then from for of. He finally got the right one because 'he gave his mind the letters.'

I got the feeling that he didn't embed images into his visual working memory deeply enough. We often just scan the world around us, embedding images in our minds at various levels. This is dictated by attention, but maybe something else as well. Is it possible to avoid focusing on something even if it's the only thing we are looking at? We don't want to see it. We don't want it to become part of us. Short of being outright negative, there is the possibility of negligence. I'm not sure about the validity of the theory. Right now, that's all it is. I'll play with it.

Ah, I do have personal experience with this. I found it easier to listen to people speaking after I made the hour-long audiofile, reading the individual phonemes of each word of five different stories. After an hour of doing that, my sensory perception of speech sounds became more, what's the word, complex? Detailed? Sensitive? Exposure to the details and variations of sensory input heightens our attention.

I had an appointment with Katy, my PT. She had canceled our last appointment. I found out her reason today: she had the cartilage of her ear pierced, and it became infected badly. She went to the emergency room twice. We started with me reporting all I had worked on over the last month. While she was working on me, she said, "I could work on you forever." My first thought was that she thought I was such a spectacular mess and that forever would hardly be enough. But no. She meant she loved working with me. It's mutual. We make a team.

She continued working on my hip, the surrounding muscles. She did something new. While I was lying flat on my back with my knees bent, she wrapped a towel around the inside of my left thigh, placed a sling over that, and wrapped the straps around her waist. Then she leaned back while pushing away on my left knee; she pulled in one direction with the sling and pushed on my knee in the opposite direction. The effect was to pull my left hip out. My left hip is jammed up against my right hip. They think they're Siamese twins instead of roommates. There should be some independent movement.

I went directly to Target from the PT session. I've been dealing with my foot problem using toe separators used when people paint their toenails. I had no idea there was a better product. I think that's because there was nothing out there when I first searched for such a product twenty years ago. Katy showed me what was available online and that it was sold at Long's. Target had a Long's. I bought 4 10 oz. bags of Hersey's Milk Chocolate kisses with whole almonds., but they didn't sell the toe separators. I had to go back into town to Long's store.

On the way there, I passed the carwash place. Oh, yes. I had thought of getting a car wash. The car was cover with brown dust from the volcanic eruption spewing out 85 thousand tons an hour. Long's had the toe separators and bags of Hersey's Milk chocolate nuggets with whole almonds; I bought two.

I couldn't sign on to Vera tonight, despite having subscribed to Brit box through Amazon. Very frustrating. I went back to watching Offspring. It must have been a season conclusion. It had a happy ending, with everyone reconciled, except the main characters. I suspect Dr. Chris is permanent history. The best part was this song. One sister had slept with the other sister's ex-boyfriend at the time. They had commiserated with each other over ice cream and vodka shots. Let me see two horny thirty-year-olds in frustrating/terminated relationships get drunk – surprise. The 'cuckolded sister decided she wanted to get back together with her old boyfriend in a committed relationship. The boyfriend felt he had to confess to the 'cuckolded sister, so their relationship was solid. The 'cuckolded 'sister went ballistic. The boyfriend was a musician. He wrote a song for her. "Your sister is a six, and you're a 10." with details. It should make the hit parade. It was a great song.

Monday, October 11, 2021

I slept pretty well. I got up several times during the night to pee, but I fell asleep quickly. There was only a little ‘dozing’ in the hour before I got up. I think it would be better if I got up and made up for lost sleep with naps.

Vince and Julie were walking down the street, heading for their home as I left my driveway. I wasn’t late; they were early. I walked with them. They were up at 2:30 to put the fish they had soaked into the dryer. Vince earns money making this dried fish treat. I asked him where he got his fish from. He told me he gets them from local fishermen. They call him. I don’t remember all the details. There are two types. One gets a good price right now. They never offer that one to Vince; it goes to the hotels and restaurants. I assume Vince pays less. The other is a less expensive one. If he doesn’t want those fish, they release them back into the ocean.

I had no requests for Reading support today. I thought I had a leisurely morning. I got a call.

“Are you on your way to rehab?’ Huh??? Oops! I had an 8 am appointment with Club Rehab for pelvic floor therapy. I usually check my calendar first thing in the morning. I didn’t. It was now 8:15. Hmm! Could I make it there by 8:30? Yes, if I rushed. I dropped everything to collect myself to leave the house. Elsa seeing me with my bag over my shoulder, ran after me in anticipation. “Are we going for a ride?”

Maneuvering to get out of the driveway, I backed into a shrub at the edge of the driveway- hard. Oh, well. Two accidents in two days, both under 5 mph. I got to the Rehab center shortly after 8:30. The receptionist said there wasn’t time, just fill out the paperwork. I was agitated.

I had been agitated on my walk. There is some issue that had to be resolved. I keep dialoguing. I’m okay with some of that; I often come up with solutions. It’s when it turns into the repeat loop, known as obsessing, that it’s not okay.

While at the rehab filling out paperwork, I wondered what the hell was going on. Did this agitation start in my body or my mind? I’ve noticed over the past few days flashes of negativity. Yes, I mean flashes. I have a brief thought about something I did wrong yesterday, a year ago, 20 years ago, and have ‘that’ feeling. How do you describe it other than to say it doesn’t feel good? It’s a shaft running through some part of my body. It could be my chest or my abdomen. It’s always in the trunk, not the limbs. In some ways, it reminds me of my hot flashes. Now that is supposed to be purely physical. For those who never had one, it feels like an anxiety attack. It’s a surge that you feel before the sweat starts. The surges I was having now were not related to hot flashes. How do you describe this feeling: anxiety, fear, shame, grief? It feels like so many emotions package together, all unpleasant. It’s often accompanied by some thought, usually remembering something I said or did that I feel was wrong now, something I did 20, 30, even 40 years ago.

We know from neuroscientific research that things start in our nervous system before our conscious mind becomes involved. We reach for that cup before our conscious minds become involved. We speak before our conscious minds become involved. If my conscious mind is aware of some embarrassing incident, something must have been activated long (in neurological time) before my conscious mind generated a thought.

Now, this doesn’t mean that my default mind hasn’t been at work generating these memories. What’s the default mind? It is literally the part of our mind that constantly generates thought unless the conscious mind demands all the available attention and energy. The moment our conscious minds are not forcibly engaged, our default minds go back to work. Our default minds are constantly generating thoughts about our social lives. The default mind is online before our conscious minds. By the time our conscious minds become aware of any such thoughts, that’s all they do – become aware of what has been going on. It’s not our conscious mind which generates these thoughts. Its role in obsessive thinking? It makes no effort to stop it. The how is easier to understand than the why. Why would our minds pull up unpleasant memories of our own behavior from years ago? How does this benefit us?

I don’t assume this describes everyone’s experience; neither do I assume it represents only mine. I shared my thoughts with a friend. She recognized this experience.

I went out and worked on the garden. The sun bore down, but there was a nice breeze. It reminded me of afternoons in camp on Lake Otsego outside of Cooperstown, N.Y. That’s always a good memory. As I worked, I could feel the sweat and the breeze. Lovely. Kneeling isn’t an option in this area. I have to bend over from the waist. I had to remind myself to use my right abdominal muscles, right glute muscles, and right inner thigh to push my right hip up and over to the left. My back held out for an hour. Amazing!

Had adolescent D in the late afternoon. As usual, I had to call him. No worries. He is always happy to get on. He works hard but still has problems hearing the sound of the basic units in the words he says, holding on to sounds as he blends them, and self-correcting when he has made a wild guess based on the first letter of a word.

D’s on vacation from school for the week. I texted mom asking if she wanted extra sessions. She said yes, and did I think he was making any progress. I said yes, slowly, slowly. If he was reading on grade level after six months work, that would qualify as one for the Guinness Book of World Records.

Judy called. Yesterday, she, Howard, and Paulette left their house at 6 pm and headed south to the volcano. Actually, they headed east to Hilo, where they had a good dinner before driving to the National Volcanoes Park to view the active volcano. They were disappointed. It was raining and cold, 54 degrees. All they got to see was a glow. They had seen better.

I completed several New Times mini crossword puzzles. Elsa came to my side and asked to be picked up. She only does that when she’s scared. I have no idea what spooked her. Was there a small earthquake? If there was, I didn’t feel it. When we had the big one the other day, she only stayed in my arms for a few minutes. Tonight, she stayed and stayed, panting the whole time. I have no idea what is bothering her.

An email from Masterpiece Theater announced a new season of Vera. Okay, Hawaii PBS wins. I’ll pay the extra cost to watch this. Mike and I loved British mysteries, along with the Scottish and the Australian ones.