Wednesday, October 6, 2021
Another great night's sleep. I was tired right on cue and in bed when before my bedtime signal went off. I dozed in the early morning hours. I noticed my stressed feeling. I get irritated more easily with my students when they don't improve as I wish they would. I realized I put out way more than I get. Well, that makes sense. Mike was a well of renewal for me.
He didn't do that much; it just that what he did was exactly what I needed. He was here; he was my safe haven. We could be in the same space, doing our own thing, and feel totally connected. I knew he was a safe part of my environment. I can assume he felt the same about me because he commented when he felt I wasn't. If I got too boisterous or grimaced about something he did, he would say, "Are you a safe part of my environment?" Yes, he would literally make a comment like that. Safety was a big issue for both of us.
Also, we would affirm each other, sprinkling small acts throughout the day. I'd look up from what I was doing, see him, and smile in delight that he was there. He'd look at me with love and delight shining in his eyes. We would smile at each other. He told me daily how beautiful I was and how much he loved me every day. I would have bursts of enthusiasm rush to hug him and declare, "I love you so much; it's silly." We affirmed each other and our love for each other. Benefit: we were loved, and we loved.
I remember a period in therapy when being just "a human being instead of a human doing" was a big thing. Maybe this is what they meant. But of course, we did do. We smiled at each other, whether there was eye contact or not. We breathed calmly in the presence of each other. We were always aware of each other's presence and delighted in it.
I focused on Mike for a minute while lying in bed alone. I could feel his loved flow into me. It's not quite as good as having him here, but I supposed it will have to do.
I am so fortunate to have friends and many casual acquaintances that stop each time they see me to exchange a few words. With friends, I can have long conversations. But what I don't have is that quiet companionship that requires nothing but the appreciation of its existence. I always appreciated that type of companionship.
I ran into Vince and Julie on my morning walk. My Tesla Powerwall app said Kailua Kona was under a storm watch. I asked Vince if he knew about his. No, he thought it must have something to do with the air quality due to the sulfur dioxide in the air from the volcanic eruption. That wouldn't show up on an app concerned with solar panels.
Did I feel the earthquake yesterday? No. It was at10 am, and I was napping at that time, trying to catch up on lost sleep from the night before in preparation for my luncheon date at Zola's. I mentioned an earthquake I had experienced here. I was sitting in the living room and watched the whole house shake.
Julie talked about the earthquake of '06. Their son had just set out for work. He thought something was wrong with the wheels of his car. Then he looked out his rearview mirror and saw the roadway undulate. Vince and Julie were on the second floor of their home. Vince grabbed the TV set to keep it from smashing to the floor. When they went down to the kitchen, they found the floor covered with broken pottery and glass. All the cabinets facing in one direction had been flung open, and the dishes rocked out onto the floor.
The sulfur dioxide output of the volcano has already reduced. Lutz, an evening walking companion, said it was down to 15,000 tons from 85,000 tons. He was in the air, flying home from San Diego after the first eruption. He glanced out the window and saw brown clouds. Yes, brown. He thought this was from the eruptions on our island. The 85,000 tons were floating at 30,000 feet.
I did a dry run of my Phase II video. This isn't the first one, but I am sounding a bit more confident. I don't know if I like all the slides. I have a bunch at the end to remind people of something I said earlier in the presentation. Doing some of this work feels good.
I wrote Julia from Step Up Tutoring to ask her about the people in my cohort of new tutors that are supposed to be working with me. I sent an introductory letter to them, asking them to tell me their availability. They're supposed to meet with me as a group. No one responded. I asked her if these were folks who requested support or were they just volunteered. The answer: they were just volunteered. I can imagine they don't want to do more than they signed up for. This organization is demanding time from these folks that's appropriate for a paying job. They have to participate in a "town meeting" once a semester, and now the new ones have to join a support group. Really???
I drove to the bank in town to cash two checks. It took me forty-five minutes. The teller was new and had to check, double-check, and then get someone else's approval. Thankfully, I had a book with me. It was still annoying. I am pleased to report I made only one slightly nasty comment. However, I made it in a soft tone of voice. Hopefully, that mitigated any negative impact.
I stopped off at Costco to check on the futon Judy told me about. Also, I wanted to check the price of the twin leather electric recliners that Mike bought. He thought he died and went to heaven with that chair. I thought I died and went to hell. I couldn't make myself comfortable. You couldn't sit in it without slouching. I tried putting pillows behind me, but they had no traction with the leather. It would have worked if I could have sat Indian style, but that was out because of my hip. It was a bad deal all around. I wanted to replace the chairs with a futon to put up a friend of August's if he chooses to bring one when they visit over Christmas.
I was disappointed on both counts. Costco wasn't carrying the model of the recliner I wanted to look at to get the price. I want to sell it on Craig's List.
I called Judy as I left Costco, wondering what she was thinking of when she told me Costco carried futons. All I saw was sectional sofas with pillows instead of full-sized futons. Was that what she was thinking of? She called back as I was getting out of the car at home. No, Costco really sold futons and good ones. Mei bought one. It's just they didn't carry it all the time. She would keep her eye out for me. J.
I spoke to Jean, my hanai sister, today. She is still in pain and is still packing up her house for their move on the 16th. Yes, now it's the 16th, and they are still struggling to get everything done.
I got a call from the jeweler yesterday saying that four of the prongs holding in the small diamond on my grandmother's childhood ring are gone, and the other four as so thin, they're on the verge of breaking off. My grandmother was born in 1881; I was told she got this ring when she was twelve. That's how old I was when my uncle gave it to me. I'm not having this ring enlarged. I want to pass it on to the next generation. My niece has a 2-year old son. I don't know if they're planning on having more children. I have no way of knowing if their second child will be a girl or if their son would like to wear this ring. The repair on the four remaining prongs will be $120. I can handle that. I told him to go ahead with the repair.
I wrote California E's father that I could meet today. I don't think he got the message. I sent a long message through Remind. It offered to translate into Spanish and then sent me a long message in Spanish which I couldn't read. I suspect it was saying the translation option wasn't available. Nuts! Julia plans to hook me up with someone on their staff who speaks Spanish and help us negotiate. I never heard back from E's father; I didn't drive myself crazy trying to get home by noon, the appointed time.
I decided to consult a podiatrist to get his take on my hammertoe. I'm pretty sure that I know how the best way to deal with it. I ice my foot and massage it. When I walk, I make a point of moving my toes as much as possible, stretching them apart as I put my heel down and then pushing through all the way till I'm pushing off from the tips. I think the good doctor will recommend proper shoes instead of Crocs and molded supports. As far as I can make out, both those suggestions would be counterproductive. I read on the Internet that walking barefoot can be good for the problem. I assume that's the case because your range of movement is greater when barefoot than shod. Katie Bowman calls shoes foot coffins: they limit movement. The Crocs allow the toes to move through their full range of motion.
Wednesday is my day with K's crew. She had just walked into the house at 2 pm. She was having car problems and then problems with the loaner while her air conditioning got fixed.
I had Twin E first. Both girls are in second grade and not yet reading on a low Kindergarten level. I worked with them over the summer on just recognizing words in the -at family: bat, cat, fat, hat, mat, Nat, pat, rat, sat, and tat. That took most of the summer after making sure they had the names of the alphabet under their belts. E was progressing better than A. Now, A is moving ahead at a good pace. She was able to recognize more words than E did and her blending skills are much better. A had more trouble recognizing words she saw a minute ago, and blending is still out of reach.
When I was finished with the girls, I worked with their older brother K. He is in 3rd grade. We worked on basic handwriting skills and writing his first and last name correctly. He didn't know his last name at the beginning of the summer. He still didn't have primary paper available. I mailed it to his teacher and to his mother. His teacher claimed she didn't have the time to download the paper; his mother couldn't get her printer to hook up to her computer. Today it came out that her middle school child S had cracked the computer screen. Oh, boy. Mom K grabbed a notebook and drew the primary lines and the words he had to copy. She didn't write his name. It was time for him to write these words from memory, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog," and form the letters correctly. He did a pretty good job, even it did mean dragging some of it out of him.
I got a text from adolescent D's teacher. He goes to a small private school; he's in a class of eight children. The teacher is trained in Orton Gillingham and is a qualified social worker. She asked me to appraise his work level. She has been asking very little of him but feels she has to up her expectations for the next semester. D is repeating the eighth grade. He will have to go someplace else next year. How is he going to cope with any high school?
His teacher recognized the significance of his psychological problems. She said when she started with him, he was writing horrible things on his papers. "I'm stupid." "I'm no good." Scary stuff. I told her I also saw his ego as of prime importance. I am working with him on Zoom. I have only seen his image once. He hides. Pulling him out from behind the screen had to be handled carefully. He is also very hard on himself. He insists that he hasn't made any progress when his mother can see it. His idea of progress is functioning as his most accomplished peer. Getting better does not mean making a small degree of progress.
I asked his teacher if the students in his class were aware of his reading problems. She said absolutely. The guys in the class cluster around him and help him. When I told D that his peers knew he couldn't read, he said, "God, I hope not." He lives in an alternate reality.
We had a tutoring session today. D took forever to read a word. When he did, he said he knew the word, but his mind went off. It sounds like an ADD problem. Some inner thought captures his attention. He said he knew what the thought was. This is good news. I had been aware of his mind flipping; I was concerned it might be a form of epilepsy.
I haven't seen or heard from Isaac in a while. He's the young man volunteering in a small religious school for the year. I gave him some suggestions on how to teach kindergarteners the alphabet using biblical passages. I was concerned if he was okay. I met him initially while walking in the evening. I hadn't even seen him on the street. He texted to say he was fine and had some success using my suggestions. I would love the feedback. Also, I generated a new idea for him. Something the kids can do together either in pairs or as a group.
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