Friday, February 1 , 2019 2:30 pm

            He is more active since that previous post, which is going out with this one. He is actually asking for hugs.  He recognizes people but is still delirious and distressed.  if Mike makes it out of here, which seems likely but not a for sure yet, he can 'read all about it.'

            I slept in a Bnb last night with Shivani, my niece. She left early this morning to return to her partner and their two years old son in San Francisco.  I can't begin to tell you what a blessing it was to have Damon, Mike's son, and Shivani here with me.  The two of them made sure that I was okay.  They relieved me of a great burden. Shivani found the Bnb, and she spent one night with me there, unbelievable. Damon took care of the car.  A friend recommended Turo, which is sort of an Uber for car rentals.  Damon looked for Priuses, which is the car I drive at home.  Also, this search is somewhat cheaper and more flexible.  Since each dealer is its own private corporation, they're somewhat less bureaucratic.  

            Shivani gave careful thought about selecting the Bnb.  She looked at many pictures and thought to choose a woman closer to my age than someone in their 30s, thinking that person would be more responsive to me. We arrived, it wasn't quite what we thought it was.  It is a separate building, but the interior is somewhat jerry-rigged.  Shivani asked if it would be okay. I'm thinking: Holy Cow! For starters, it sure beats sleeping on the golf course.  Secondly, it's clean, neat and the bed is comfortable. Of course, we were coming from a 5-star hotel.  This is just fine.  And I slept like a baby.

            Shivani left before sunrise this morning to make her plane.  While I had slept well, I still felt 'hungover." Mind you, this is without the benefit of alcohol.  I got up, organized my possessions, and headed for the hospital.  I drove the speed limit and felt like I was the little old lady holding up the traffic.  Oh, yeah. Yvette, our goddaughter, has pointed out to me that I am a little old lady. 

            I am feeling drained.  I sent out texts telling people that Mike was steady but delirious.  And I didn't want to speak to anyone for the day.  The best thing would be a 24-hour silent retreat.  Not possible.

            I pulled into the hospital parking lot. When I got out of my car, I heard running water.  I went to the edge of the parking lot, and there was a small waterfall. It's kind of natural, in as much nature is making use of the man-made contours blasted out the side of the hill to build the parking lot.  I leaned against the wall of the lot, and just drank in the scene.  I can draw energy from nature and art.  I remained there for several minutes.  I noticed the tall grass moving at the side of this small waterfall.  Little brown birds were flying about and landing on the blades of grass, scarcely bending them.  I have no idea what kind of birds they were.  I would say it is a hummingbird.  Anyone ever seen a brown hummingbird?  I also caught sight of another bird I had never seen before.  This one is finch sized, black with white stripes on its wings. 

            I finally went upstairs, dropped off the computer bags, said hello to Mike, said some rosary, and went to the cafeteria to get some breakfast. As I started writing this, I felt a little less drained.  Feel better when I can write. I have no idea why this would be the case, but I'll take it.

            (Dr. Izawa, the specialist on his matter, just came in. He tells me his blood count is higher, but they don't expect infection since it didn't show up on the CT yesterday. The good doctor said that today is just more of the same, "He's in a holding pattern." He said he was reassured by the results of the CT scan.) 

           When I returned to Mike's room, I  finally got hold of my grandson to have him help me set up Mike's Powerbook. 

            Mike is sleeping now.  The nurse is coming by to suction him.  There seems to be something gurgling around in his throat. His eyes are wide open, and he is listening to the lecture.

             11:29am. I was just introduced to Daisy, who will be Mike's sitter to watch that he doesn't pull out any more tubes.   The care is really amazing.  I am so grateful.

Friday, February 1, 2019 10:00 am

Good news:  He passed through a crisis, and he's not expected to die immediately.  He is doing better than expected.

Bad news: There are many factors at play, and there could be a downturn at any time.

            Jean, Mike's first wife, Damon, his son, arrived on Tuesday night. Mike's niece, Shivani, came on Wednesday.  Damon had reserved rooms in a 3-star hotel, which was a little depressing. He asked me what I needed.  I said nature.  I was thinking of taking more walks and being in the sunshine and communing with trees.  Damon moved us to a 5-star hotel with a view of the marina and ocean.   It wound up being really enjoyable. The room has large windows that open wide.  Damon and I had the same thought: don't they have problems with people committing suicide?

            It's been interesting. I see that my last message was only from Wednesday at 1:30 pm.  He went to the ICU the day before.  I went up the cafeteria to have breakfast, came down to a circus routine.  It wasn't a code blue or red.  It was the emergency call just under that.

     I am very fortunate. Due to Mike's connections and community building, I was able to call one of the Deacons and tell him that I didn't want to be alone. Within ten minutes, someone was there.  He had called someone who lived nearby, and she drove right over. Three other people arrived within half an hour.  The man and his wife, John and Kathy Coughlin, stayed with me until Damon and Jean arrived.

             Mike's prognosis is tricky.  He has made better than expected progress, and there are possible pitfalls along the way that may still take his life.  Either way, it will be a long slow process, unless there's a crisis and an abrupt end.  I am trying to prepare for all eventualities, both the bad and the good.

            A fun note that some of you are already aware of: He pulled out his ventilator tube on his own last night.  Fortunately, they were thinking of pulling it out today anyway, and his vitals were stable enough that they didn't have to put it back in.

            Now that he can talk, he is making it clear he doesn't want to be there.  He is delirious due to the medication, pain killers and sedation, and lack of food. He has had no nutrition since last Thursday. This is because any food intake- even through a stomach tube- can trigger the pancreas to go back into action and kill off more of itself. They have put him on intravenous nutrients now.   This is NOT a tube directly into the stomach, oh no. This is a tube that puts food directly into his blood; it bypasses the GI system so as not to aggravate his condition and trigger the pancreas into action. This is the first nutrition he is getting in over a week.

            The treatment for this disease is still quite primitive. It is basically rest and intravenous liquids.  The rest includes total rest for the GI system, not even water by mouth. The standard treatment is high dosages of liquids to assist the system with its self-cleansing.   Unfortunately, Mike is also had chronic kidney disease and is on dialysis.  The general idea is that more liquid is put in from an external source, and the kidneys deal with ridding the body of the access liquid.  Since Mike's kidneys can't do that, the healing process is complicated. 

            A funny aside: I lost my room key to the hotel. We went to the counter to get a new one. I was looking at my phone while Damon dealt with the issue.  He said, "My mother and my step-mother are in that room." The next thing he said was," Yeah, I know." I assume the clerk gave him a look.  For those of you who don't know, Damon's mother and have learned to love each other and genuinely enjoy each other.  We both consider ourselves fortunate.  Even before this incident, she and her husband would come to visit us for several weeks at a time.

            I may write up more about myself in these updates. Someone encouraged me to do so I can remember all the incidents.  There are so many that are funny or positive with my interactions with Mike, those who have come to support me, other patients, and the staff here at the Kaiser hospital here in Honolulu.

            Ah, for those of you who don't understand why I need a place to stay: Mike and I live on the Big Island. We were flown into Honolulu, and we will remain here until he is ready to go home, which could easily be a month down the road.