I woke up at 3 am worried about Kea and Elijah's application to Science Camps of America. I got a copy of an email the director of the camp had sent her. This was the second one he sent. He was concerned that she wasn't responding. I concocted reasons why she didn't do it and made myself sick. I made a point of calling her by 7. She had responded immediately to his second email and faxed the application to him. The dramatic explanation for why she hadn't responded to the first was -she forgot. All that worry for nothing. I decided not to go to Bikram because I was just too tired due to a lack of sleep.
Since I wasn't going to Bikram, I decided to do that walk around the block and pick up the garbage I had seen the other day. I took a 13-gallon tall garbage bag with me. Most of the street was clear. There was just this one stretch filled with litter,- and there was that blanket. I thought I could put it in the garbage bag. No chance. It was a quilt and much too large. I had to drag it down the street and up the hills to get it to my trash barrel. Besides the blanket, there were old newspapers and telephone books. As I walked, I focused on relaxing my left glut muscles with each step.
When I got home, I made my miso soup immediately. I actually forget to do the oil rinse and drink my two cups of water. I sat down to write the Easter, Sunday blog, and play FreeCell.
Then I showered, did MELT, and used the Tiger Tail.
I had been planning to get my new tires after Bikram. I decided to get down there now and take care of it and do my Costco shopping. It would be a 2 ½ hour wait to get new tires installed. That long? The clerk checked out the tires I wanted. The Michelins were on sale, but he would have to order them; they would arrive in two weeks. I went into Costco to shop. I returned a large, and I do mean large, box of Poise Pads. I don't know how long I've had it, but it didn't have a sell-by date, so it raised no alarms. Then I did the shopping I had to do. Of course, I checked out all the sample carts. As far as I'm concerned, that's a way of scarfing down a free meal. Also, I love tasting different foods in small quantities.
While I was shopping, I spoke to Brenda about the internment. She told me I have to let Fr. Lio know 5 days before we do it so he can dig the hole. She also told me that I have allowed the monument company two weeks. The company is in Hilo on the other side of the island. I'll be going over there in August to buy school supplies for the children of one family. I'll check them out then.
I was planning to drive to the church after Costco to drop off my 40 cans of food for the 40 days of Lent. I was already on Queen K when it occurred to me that I could just drop the cans off at the Food Basket up the street. I called Brenda back to find out if that would do. She explained to me that the Food Basket is different than the Food Bank that the church runs, but either would be fine. I made a u-turn and went to the Food Basket because their facility is on the ground floor, and I could probably get help unloading. If I took it to the church, I would have to carry those heavy cartons up a flight of stairs to get them into the office.
When I arrived at the Food Basket, there was no one in sight. I called out but got no response. I called out louder. Finally, two people came down the steps. I had expected someone to respond, "I'll be there in a minute." But, no. There was no response until they appeared, and then I was criticized for calling out. I think the critic might have been teasing me, given several additional comments he made. Boy, was his comic timing off.
Jean had called while I was on the road, I called her back. She recommended a British tv series to me that she has been enjoying, The Vicar of Dibley. We also talked about two others she had recommended to me, Miranda and DCI Banks. Miranda is altogether too silly for my tastes. I find DCI Banks either poorly written, poorly directed, poorly acted, or all of the above. I find the characters annoying. I have watched too many police shows; I know the correct procedure. It's frustrating when the 'professionals' know less than I do. None the less, I continued to watch it. It was good background noise while I cataloged the books. Jean also said that Social Security contacted her, saying that she may be entitled to some money because she and Mike were married for more than 10 years. She said she will only accept it if it doesn't take money away from me. I don't know that she has a choice.
I had unloaded perishables from the car the moment I got home. Now, I had to unload all the nonperishables. Then I sat down to write the blog and play FreeCell.
My 12-year-old student arrived at 3. I started working with her on a 5th grade Barnell Loft book. I find her word recognition skills for multi-syllable words has improved. Her aunt sees that she is more confident and more willing to read. The school has her working on a low first- grade reading level. At first, I thought this was unnecessary. Yes, she continues to misread words like, may, my, the, then, when, etc. but she can understand what she reads. Then I come to find out she fails miserably on comprehension questions in the Accelerated Reading Program Computer program at a first-grade level. Why? It sounds like a good idea that the school keeps her working on the first-grade level. I can continue working on a higher level because I make sure she reads the material accurately and understands it. The work I do allows her to be exposed to grade-level vocabulary and sentence structures.
I still had the little plastic Peas sitting in the roasting pan awaiting disposal. Ah, I can just put them into a ziplock bag and use them that way.
I took my afternoon nap. I had a dream of dying and Mike appearing to me. I reached for him with some desperation, but he pushed me away. It wasn't time for me to join him. While I observed my actions in the dream, I didn't have any strong emotions. Very weird. My dreams say one thing, and my feelings say something else. I'm not usually that out of sync with myself. I must say I'll take this state of denial. It works for me. It allows me to build my new life. I'm not crippled by grief. I know that Mike wishes me the absolute best. He always did.
I did some work on the blog. I was trying to catch up. I was still 5 days behind schedule. I know I could just skip a couple of days. Who cares? But I don't want to. Do I actually want this record, or am I just being compulsive? Whatever I do, it is not life or death for me.
Yvette came up for dinner. I still had plenty of leftovers from Easter Sunday and Zola's lunch. Between the two of us, we hardly made a dent. After dinner, Yvette did some Graston on my neck and shoulders. I'm finding that as my lower body is straightening out, I am feeling more strain in my upper body. As she worked, my left glut muscles relaxed. She could feel the change in my right glute muscles. Now I have a new objective as I work: to relax the left glut muscles as much as possible to allow the rest of my body to respond to that change.
I tried to watch the Vicar of Dibley, which Jean recommended. It plays on Brit Box. I was asked to pay. I thought I had already set up a subscription. I will need to follow up on that with Amazon.
I am getting notification after notification from credit card companies that I need to provide proof of the power of attorney or proof of executorship. They also make clear that I am responsible for any money owed, but they don't ask me for evidence for that. Here's what I've learned: DO NOT let the credit companies know that your partner is deceased until you have claimed all bonus points. For most of the credit card companies, Mike got a card for me too. This DOES NOT mean that it was jointly owned. It just means that Mike said I could have one.
I have no authority to make claims on his credit card. So unpleasant.
I walked Elsa, washed my face, brushed my teeth, went to bed, and then said, "Goodnight, Elsa. Goodnight, Mike."
