When I woke up in the motel, the first thing I noticed was the flat screen tv had fallen off the wall and was lying askew on the desk. I never heard it fall. I called the front desk to report the fallen TV and to ask how to turn on the shower water. They said, “Pull the knob.” I had done that to no avail. I finally got in the tub and pulled; the angle improved my chances. Success!
Yvette, Mowg, and Lilith walked over the motel, which is around the corner from their house. We walked one more block and went to a local restaurant for breakfast. The waitresses were a treat. One was a woman in her late 50s that brought joy to her job. The food was fine.
We talked about Mike during breakfast. I had a quiet cry while everyone else sat quietly. Again, I find I don’t think I’m sad, but then tears overwhelm me. Sorrow comes from some inner source. Surprise!
When I got back to the motel, I asked if I could have a room with a higher toilet. (The TV was irrelevant. I watched my Amazon shows on my computer.) All their toilets were the same size. They are not a handicapped facility. Because they don’t have an elevator, they can’t accommodate people with mobility problems. They are a Wyndham hotel, and these were the toilets they provided. All the rooms were the same.
I went up to the room, napped, read, and I sent out the blog entries I had worked on during the flight. I got eight done. I was still behind. I only finished up to September 8th.
Yvette, Lilith, and Mowg went into town. Mowg had to spend some time at work. They picked me up from around 5 pm, and we headed out to Erika and Mark’s house for dinner. Brenda and her boyfriend, Scott, were going to be there too. I hadn’t seen Erika, Mark or Brenda for 25 years. Looking at myself through their eyes, I realized how much I must have aged. The twenty-five years between 54 and 79 are a dramatic, as dramatic as the difference between 15 and 35, but not as dramatic as between 20 and 45. When my mom was in her 90s, she told me that the rate of degeneration excels with age. She compared it to the rapid pace of growth which happens at the beginning of life.
It was good to see Brenda and Erika again and see they’re doing well. There were 8 of us all together, 7 Bunces and their spouses/partners, and me. I have been an unofficial family member in the past, but there was a disruption. I enjoyed the conversation.
I also enjoyed rolling around on a hard roller. I had been in agony since I got off the airplane, my back, my hip, my neck. Oy vey! Mowgli did a little massage; that didn’t help. Doing MELT on this hard roll worked, I discovered that the problem started on the back of my head. I didn’t feel pain there until I rolled my head on the hard roll.
We had to leave the gathering early because Lilith had the 8:30 to 12:30 shift at the airport. Then Mowgli drove us home. I listened to some more TV on my computer, wrote a few notes on about the day on the blog, and went to sleep.
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Musings;
I hate the expression, “Just be a human being and not a human doing.” What the hell does that mean? How do you be without doing?
I got some insight into what other people may mean by this expression. Nonetheless, I think it is close to meaningless. How do you ‘be’ without ‘doing.”
If I’m sitting in nature – which is not in my yard where I have to do- I am. Well, at least I’m not thinking about doing something. However, I am still doing. I am observing. If I am sitting in my yard, I may allow myself a moment of “am,” but as I looked around, I think of what I have to do.
This state of ‘being’ versus ‘doing’ does not happen to me in yoga, where I hear the expression the most. There I am observing my body carefully, very carefully. In yoga or when meditating, I am doing. They both require a lot of effort.
