On the way home from Bikram, I stopped off at the vet to pick up food and meds for the girl. I had plans of washing Elsa and doing some garden work. I worked on the blog; I got out three days and then had to nap.
Kathrin said a friend of hers wanted to come over and harvest my coconut tree. This was great. It costs an average of $100 a year to have these babies cut down. The one remaining coconut tree was generally ignored; it is not centrally located on the property, but it is still a danger to the dogs and the gardeners. Those things are lethal when they come down. Kathrin took pictures of the tree and sent them to her friend. Yep! It will serve his purposes well.
When he got here, I contacted Yvette and Josh to warn them what was going on. They put their dogs inside of their protection. Traditionally, men climbed the coconut trees with nothing more than their arms and legs and a strap. Today, especially for anyone over 30, a tree climber is used. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aujhbsoOpWQ I included this video because you have to see this. The guy got 32 coconuts from one tree.
He usually has to drive to the other side of the island to get his coconuts. I called several neighbors to see if they also had coconut trees they would be willing to have him harvest for free. If he does this for all the trees in the neighborhood, we’ll get the work done for free, and he won’t have to travel to the other side of the island to get what he needs. I was only able to text of three families at that time. We checked out two of them. The family next door has several, but one was bad. The other neighbor has a tree that isn’t good anymore, either.
Kathrin’s friend also checked out my failing plumeria tree. One limb has given up and is lying down on the ground and then growing back up again. Yvette through it was going bad. We had problems with rotting plumeria trees before. But he said no, That wasn’t the problem. He said the weight of the limb on a downhill side was simply too much for the tree to support. He found a tree branch and used it as a crutch for the failing limb. He said this way, the tree limb can strengthen and support itself. He told me that I would have to continue supporting the limb, maybe forever, maybe not. Her friend also loaded our recycling into the van. I took it down to the transfer station.
As I worked in the library cataloging Mike’s books, it rained on and off. Around 9:30, when it was somewhat lighter, I grabbed the opportunity and took Elsa for a walk. No way. She got to the edge of the driveway and headed back to the house. She’s a Princess Never Get Wet like her mom. She immediately went to the door to the back yard. She had to pee, but I guess she figured it wouldn’t be raining back there. She didn’t like what she found. She usually pees out there on the gravel just beyond the tiled area, which is under the overhang. I didn’t watch, but I think she finally gave up and peed on the tile, although it was not her preference.
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Musings: I’m putting this separately so those who are not interested can choose not to read it.
Unfortunately, so many people think they accomplish good by declaring themselves good. I spoke with my therapist today about the phenomena of people who think they haven’t hurt others simply because they didn’t intend to. She said she sees it, particularly among step-mothers. We didn’t discuss this at length, but I assume that these women ignore how difficult the situation is for their step-children and only focus on the problems the children are causing for them.
When I first met Mike, I had a friend who said, “Make sure he gets rid of that kid.,” meaning Damon, who was a small child at the time. She didn’t mean he should kill him, but as far as she was concerned, the presence of that child would ruin our lives. I can see that she might think that from what she had observed in the second marriages of some of her friends.
I would never, and I mean never, have stayed with a man who abandoned his child. And I mean never. While Damon did give me grief, ignoring me, and even avoiding conversations with me, I was deeply committed to him. Periodically, I would breakdown and weep. Mike would call Jean, Damon’s mom, and she would encourage him to treat me somewhat better. I saw he was in a difficult situation, conflicted by his loyalty to his mom and what I knew was he love for me. I felt sorry for him. I also loved him right from the beginning. I still love him. I committed that child through my commitment to Mike. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
My commitment was made easy. All the adults in Damon’s life were civilized people. I don’t mean there were no problematic moments and no acting out, but we were all able to remain civil. We all worked together to create a unified family for Damon.
What do I have now? I have Damon, who is there for me now that his dad is dead. He loves me. I also have another sister, Jean, Damon’s mother. We love each other. My life is so much richer for my commitment. I made my contribution to this outcome, but I could never have done it alone.
