Thursday, May 9, 2019

     I woke up, as usual, walked Elsa, did my oil rinse, washed the dishes from last night, and made the Juice Plus smoothie. I sat down to drink my two cups of water and played a few games of FreeCell – which made me leave a bit later than I usually do. 

    I was the first to arrive at the Bikram studio even though I was on the late side; there was only one other student in the class.  When the class started, there were only three students. JJ said that the Bikram Express class, which was coming up next and is an hour-long instead of the standard 90 minutes, would probably be packed. 

    After class, I stopped off at The Club to clean out Mike’s locker. I was told to ask for Jason.  He was at the front desk.  I told him I was Mike Ross’s wife. At first, he didn’t hear what I said; I had to repeat it. Then he stood up to hug me. It’s Hawaii; thank God. I thought he would just direct me to the locker and let me clean it out. As I think about it, the locker was probably in the men’s locker room, and no one would be too happy to see me wandering around in there. Because I was parked in a handicapped parking spot, I sat in the car waiting.  Jason took much longer than I expected.  When he came out, he had a 13 gal garbage bag full of stuff. Was I going to find any surprises? 

    When I got home, I emptied the bag.  I found 4 clean polo shirts that were too ripped to wear anywhere else, two towels, swimming goggles, and a brand new pair of athletic shoes. Mike had to buy shoes two sizes larger than his usual size because of the fluid retention caused by his kidney disease.  I threw the shirts out; couldn’t possibly give those to a charity. No one is that desperate. 

    I showered, boiled 2 pots for weeds, played FreeCell, sent one blog out, and made notes for the day.  In case you’re wondering how I can remember what I did a week ago. I cheat. I write down notes and whole paragraphs for each day as it occurs.  My memory is not that good.

    I set the alarm for 2:30 because I was expecting my student at 3. I woke up at 2. Good thing because she arrived at 2:30 instead of 3.  She did remarkably well. I am seeing a significant improvement in her reading, even though her word recognition skills are not consistent yet. She still makes mistakes on words that are in the first sight word list.   

    I did some work on the blog.  Yvette’s friend, Steve, stopped by to drop off Scott’s sweaty mat, towel, and shorts from Bikram for Yvette.  Scott has regularly been coming to class but has a few obstacles to overcome.  He doesn’t have a car and lives in Holualoa.   He doesn’t have a washer or dryer, and he lives at a height were it rains a lot. Clothes don’t dry on an outdoor line, if anywhere.   Therefore, Yvette picks him up for class and washes the stuff he needs, and often drives him home again.  He can get to the studio by bike because it’s all downhill.  But, on the way back home, it’s all uphill.  That’s a little too much.

    I did some work on the blog. Yvette called to tell me that the friend who was supposed to stay here last night but didn’t,  would be staying tonight.  She was on her way over. Yvette was at the beach and would be home shortly.  Besides being a good friend to many people, Yvette is a one-woman social service provider, glad to be behind the scenes back up as she puts people up in my part of the house.  I have much more room than she and Josh do downstairs.

    The woman arrived and was immediately approached by Elsa. “How cute!” Elsa brought her balls to throw.  At first, she was delicate in her throwing.  I told her to bounce the ball off the walls and throw it down the 20-foot hallway.  Boy, had she underestimated Elsa.  When Yvette came home, she came in the greet her friend.  Elsa immediately put her feet up on her leg, asking for attention. Yvette said, “Yes, Elsa. I understand,” in a somewhat worn-out voice.  The difference between her friend’s reaction and Yvette was a scream.  Elsa will ask for attention 24/7 if you don’t make it clear you’re not available to serve her 24/7. I can do that, and then she sits quietly near me or actually on the chair with me. She is a good girl.  She’s not needy so much as she knows what she enjoys and is persistent.

    I walked Elsa, ate a dinner of salad, a slice of buttered bread, and a vegetarian soup along with my nightly freshly squeezed limeade.  I have a lime tree in my garden, which supplies me for most of the year. The rest of the time, I buy lemons from Costco.  For dessert I had the chocolate cake I rescued from Fr. Joe celebration and some of Judy’s lilikoi squares. 

    I watched Silent Witness.  This program has 17 seasons. The first season was in 1996, but it is has a contemporary point of view.  I did a little research on women leads in detective shows. 1996 is late already. The earliest one I remember was with Diana Rigg, in The Avengers, which was filmed in the 1960s.  

    I walked Elsa, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and went to bed. Good night, Elsa, Goodnight, Mike.

Wednesday, May 8, 2019

    I got up as usual on weekdays when I plan to attend Bikram.  I contacted Ace, the seminarian at St. Michael's, for help in scanning the books. I need him to set up the CollectionZ.com program on my phone, so I can also scan books, using the bar code on the book covers. I am almost done with shelves that John and Ace worked on the weekend of Mike's funeral. They got about 800 books scanned and put those that couldn't be on their spines.  Those are the ones I have been entering manually. Some books are not already in CollectionZ; those cannot be scanned in, and I will have to enter them from scratch. I will need someone with better eyes than I have to do those. 

    After I spoke to Ace, I walked Elsa. When I got home,  I did my oil rinse as I washed the dishes from last night, did two pots of boiling water for my weeds, and drank my two cups of water in preparation for Bikram.

    Yvette was at Bikram, and I asked her if I could borrow her height later in the day to help me clean out that cabinet I emptied yesterday.  She, in turn, assured me that she would take care of everything for her house guest. I had forgotten. She had a friend in need and asked if she could stay upstairs with me. Yvette's friends are always welcome in my house if I have the room.  

    For the second day, I didn't do much after the first half of the Bikram class except hold myself in traction as I did savasana to correct my spinal curvature. I went to the church after yoga to drop off the cooking equipment and 4 bags of unopened jars and cans of unexpired food that Mike had accumulated that I will never use in a million years; I wouldn't even know how to use all those food items.  I was going to stop off at the Club, an exercise gym, to pick up whatever Mike had left in his locker there, but decided I didn't have time.  I had to get home, shower, and change and be at Crista's house for lunch at 11.

    When I got home, I called Tracey at the Josephinum to see if the tech guy there had any information about Mike's computer.  I know they were storing his data and were the active administrator of his computer.  He was very nice but couldn't help. He said that Mike had switched to his own equipment, and it was no longer serviced by the Josephinum. He suggested I call Mike Berstene, who Mike worked with on the long-distance learning program set up by the seminary. Ace texted me to say that he would be available on Friday to help me set up the scanning program. I called the lawyer's office to give them the fax number and email address for my financial advisor so they could send the revised Affidavit of Collection and the complete Trust document that included the information that the surviving spouse became the holder of the Trust.

    Wednesday is garbage day.  I took the garbage out to the trash container.  On the way, I pick up all the bags of Elsa poop off the ground. 

    I boiled several pots of water for weeds. One of my readers asked about the size of my gas bill because of all the water I boil.  I use an 8 cup electric water kettle. There's no gas harmed in this process. Also, I have solar panels. Once the sun is out, it doesn't cost me anything to boil some water using electricity.  No, no one else in the neighborhood uses this process. 

    I showered, did MELT, used the Tiger Tail, dressed in something a little nicer than my usual outfits, which are just expected to cover my nakedness. 

    I still hadn't heard from Crista. I texted her and asked if we were still on and to say that it was okay if we weren't. If we were, I would need her address. She texted me immediately, saying she must have sent it to the wrong person originally. 

    She sent me an address in Holualoa, a beautiful little town higher up the mountain than we are that offers breathtaking views of the ocean overlooking the town of Kona. It also provides a breathtaking drive along a snaking country road. 

    Lady Gaga told me to make a turn – I thought. Sure didn't look right.  I called Crista. She told me to go back to the curvy road, continue south, and make the next left. I wound up on a private road. That's the way it is around here. These country lanes are going off the main roadway.  

    Crista and Miles, Crista's three-year-old son, came out to the driveway to greet me. Miles is a gecko hunter.  He was showing me where they were. Crista and I ate lunch on the open covered lanai in front of their house. What is a covered open area for them is probably a large balcony for the folks who live upstairs.  

    Our main lanai is screened in. I am grateful to have a bug free environment, except for the spiders who find the meaty parts of my body so delicious and the little black flies that have their season during which I go to bed early, so I'm not plagued by them flying into my food and onto everything I'm reading. No, those little blacks flies are not biters. 

    Mike and I had been talking about creating an open porch (lanai) area for ourselves off the screened-in lanai. It would provide more living space for the kids downstairs and an open access area for me with an even more fantastic view of the ocean than I have already. 

    For those who don't know, besides the ocean views, the view of the stars here on the Big Island is one of the best in the world. That's why there are observatories from 11 different countries sitting on top of Mauna Kea.  The street lights in Kona are yellow, sometimes to be confused with the warning light on the traffic lights. Yellow doesn't create light pollution. Even when the street lights are on, you can see the stars. When Damon and Cylin arrived for Mike's funeral, they spent time in the driveway admiring our nighttime show. 

    But back to the open-air lanai/covered lanai: Don and Brenda had a friend build them an extended overhang.  It is huge and much less expensive than I thought it would be.  I mentioned it to Yvette, and she said she and Josh would still be open to the idea. It will have to wait until that financial matters are all settled before I commit to any significant expenses.

    Lunch with Crista and Miles was a relaxing pleasure.  Our conversation was light and chatty.  Miles was amazing. He mostly played by himself. Has anyone ever seen a 3year old leave his mom alone to talk to someone for more than 5 minutes at a time if that much?  While we talked, we watched him play. 

    When I got home, I did a little work on the blog but was too tired to do much.  I went down for my nap, but first, I started the book Yvette lent me "Happiness is an Inside Job." It is a book about the effects of Buddhist meditation written for Westerners.  Since I have made 20 10-day Vipassana meditation retreats, I am quite familiar with the basic ideas.  I can attest to the benefits of making these retreats. If Mike were still alive, he would tell you how I became a calmer person as a result of the mediation.  Besides the healing effect of the sits, I learned to be patient with my progress.  

    I sat the form of meditation, of what is now known as mindfulness meditation with SN Goenka.  He is an Asian Indian, and his program is very different for the retreat programs set up by two American boys who learned it in Thailand and brought it here. As I understand it, in their ashrams, each teacher designs their own program. Goenka's is highly structured and regulated. Goenka's recorded voice is heard at the start of every mediation session. While there are local 'teachers who lead every session. They are there to observe the students to make sure that no one is running into trouble and answer students' questions.  They are not allowed to vary the teachings with their own insights.  They have to stick to the script, literally.  It reminds me of both the Catholic Church.  These are all highly structured activities that allow for individual variation.  No one can prevent individual variation. That's just the way it works.  No matter how much anyone tries to follow a model, they are doomed to put their own stamp on it. 

    Goenka speaks with an Indian accent. As a result, there is one particular mispronunciation that makes me chuckle. When he says at the beginning of each meditation session," Watch your respiration." It can sound like," Watch your desperation." Which is the exact opposite of what you're supposed to do; you're supposed to stay calm in the face of all discomfort, not be desperate.

    I took a deep three-hour nap. When I got up, I was still too tired to work on the blog. Yvette came up to help me clean out the cabinet. Now Yvette is 5'10," and even she had to get up on the counter on her knees to reach it because it is in a peculiar position, remove the shelf covering and clean the shelves properly.  I brought the garbage pail over to her. She lifted the shelf covering with the container and its spilled contents and dumped it. No way I was going to do that. I am so lucky to have help I can rely on. Josh and Yvette have been such a comfort. 

    Judy arrived, delivering a container of her lilikoi squares, a special eternal prayer card from the Association of the Miraculous Medal for Mike, and a third thing that I can't remember.  We talked briefly, and she went home. She lives right down the street.  Am I lucky or what?

    After I did some more work on the blog, I walked Elsa.  I always pick up the mail on my way back from our before dinner walked. Mike's book arrived.  I have a title: "ICON:  A Theology of the Diaconate," but no bibliography.   While I found something like 3 chapters on his computer, the book is 10 chapters long.   Once I knew what I was looking at, I realized that there was a hard copy of the book on his desk. I had seen the binder, opened it, but I thought it was a manual when I read the title. 

    I ate dinner, watched TV, and cataloged some books. I walked Elsa, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and went to bed. Good night, Elsa, Goodnight, Mike.