Sunday, February 10, 2019

Sunday, February 10, 2019, 9 pm


Good news: He was very responsive to some deacons and their wives when they visited
He is more aware of his situation.

Bad news: His awareness of his situation is making him unhappy, downright miserable.

             Mike dozed for most of the day. He is calling out more in his sleep. I think his line between sleep and wakefulness is blurring, as is the line between remembered past and present.  The doctors warned this confusion would happen. He has no exposure to natural light, and he is not maintaining a regular daytime/nighttime routine. This will lead to confusion.
           He called out at one point: “Just knock me out!” This is what he was saying in the ER in Kona when the attack first started when he was in excruciating pain. When I asked him if he was in pain now, he said no.  He is saying some things that don’t make sense.  It’s like he’s talking in his sleep.  When he is fully conscious, he can participate appropriately in a conversation.
            Most of the day was peaceful.  I was exhausted from the shocks I had received earlier, suggesting that his condition was worse. At one point, I went out on this natural air lanai at the end of the floor.  I lay down flat on the cement floor and tried to relax.  Later I came into Mike’s room and put my head on his pillow, hanging my body over the edge of the bed.  T felt like we were sleeping together.  I could feel the energy exchange we usually share. This was the best thing for me.  I felt refreshed and ready to carry on. 
            At one point, we heard singing coming from the hallway. It was a group of parishioners from a local Baptist church.  Mike said he liked it, and we asked them to come into the room.  They did. They sang two songs.  Lord, they were lousy singers, but it was glorious, and Mike thoroughly enjoyed it.
            Two couples from the deacon formation class came to visit before they left for their outer island homes: Sandor and Meali'inani, and Av and Debra (sp?). They were great visits. Mike perked up and paid attention. He actually bestowed a blessing on one of the couples.  Hey, how about me. You never give me a blessing.
            While the deacons and their wives were here, the nurse started his blood transfusion.  He seemed to be okay. In fact, he was sleeping, so we all left.  I headed off to the ashram, and the others went to catch a plane.
            I arrived at the ashram at about 6:15. I was expecting a small group of people who would fit comfortably into the dining room, which accommodates something like 15 to 20 people.  There was a crowd there.  While only 12 people actually live in the ashram, there are many more people who follow this religion.  The food was delicious, and I had a long talk with a young man who was a follower visiting from St. Louis for a few days. 
            I may have mentioned that when I stopped by on Friday to scope the place out and locate it, so I wasn’t frantically trying to find my way at the 11thhour, I met some women in the dining room. Besides offering me food, one of the women said she would make a turmeric drink for me to help me with my stress.  Not quite sure what turmeric does, but I’ve heard it’s good for what ails you, and I was thrilled with the offer.  Indeed, she had prepared the elixir. It was in a bottle with my name written on it.
            After dinner, Govinda, the ashram manager, helped me bring my bags upstairs. My car was parked a distance from the front door because all the spots were taken when I arrived.  He suggested that I move it closer.  I did it with dread. All my accidents occurred when I’m driving under 5 mph.  It seemed like another perfect opportunity for disaster.  And, of course, I had an accident.  Making a right turn, I scraped the bottom edge of the side of the car on some decorative rocks.  Yikes! I don’t do well with right turns in broad daylight.  At night, I don’t have a chance.  Tomorrow I will have to send a picture of the damage to my Turo host. Hopefully, I can get the process of repair/insurance coverage started.  He can’t afford to have some of his cars out of commission.  This car is beautifully kept.  I have insurance coverage, but I feel bad about it.
            I called Mike again at about 8:30 pm.  He was awake.  He told me to get there as quick as I could and make them stop doing things to him.  The nurse was in taking more blood, and they had tried to put the bi-pap on him again.  I explained why the nurse was taking blood and that they weren’t going to put the bi-pap on because he didn’t want it. The idea behind the bi-pap is that he doesn’t have to work as hard on breathing and can sleep better. 
            The bi-pap must be considerably more uncomfortable than the high-pressure nasal cannula he has been using.  The bi-pap includes a mask that covers his nose and mouth.  But worse, it provides cold, dry air.  The nasal cannula has a system of warming and moisturizing the air.  I must be reasonably comfortable.  Despite Mike’s pleas that I get there and make them stop, I told him I had to get to bed and to sleep myself.  I try to remind myself that it is a good sign that he is bitching and moaning about his circumstances, not a bad one.
            While I was typing this up, the Krishna’s were downstairs singing their hearts out.  I was wondering how long it was going to go on and if I would be able to sleep well with it in the background.  It stopped around 8:30. 
            To bed, perhaps to dream.  . . . . I hope my dreams are joyful and full of promise. They will undoubtedly be full of love for Mike.

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