When I got home from Bikram, there was still no sign of Kathrin. She had dinner with a friend last night and planned to stay over. She didn't have a car and was dependent on him to drive her home. I have no idea what their plans are. An old New York friend of mine once said, "You always have to leave room for people to fall in love on the subway." I'm not worried. I know the guy through Bikram, and I'm sure he's not a serial killer.
I was alone most of yesterday and now today. I'm rather enjoying it. I don't know if I just enjoy being alone, or I'm in a better mood for no particular reason. I got some things done this morning, which always makes me feel better. I don't make a list or even remember what I would put on a list, but undone chores weigh on me.
Last night B came up to offer me some freshly picked bananas still on the stem. Hey, Rousseau, bananas grow up not down. I got him to demonstrate how to tie a knot in the nylon fish line, again. I didn't get it the first time. This time I videoed him doing it, and he used an electric cord to demonstrate, so it was easy for me to see. Now that I can tie these knots on my own, I can work reassembling my mom's wind chime.
After announcing that I was through with cataloging the books, I realized there was one more shelf I had missed. I cataloged them and sent John Coughlin the email address of the librarian at Notre Dame Seminary so we can start the process of emptying the library of its 3700 books. I'm sure Mike feels sorry for leaving me with this job. I think he was assuming we would die together, at least that was his plan, and Damon and Yvette would have been stuck with the job. I know what they would have done: dialed 1-800-dumpster. That would have had both of us turning over in our graves.
I have started cleaning out the area where the file cabinets are kept where I’m planning to put in a bathroom. I have found 4 empty boxes. Why? Mike saved everything. I also found his old computer. Hopefully, I can figure out the password and get into it. I may find the electronic copies of his dissertation and his other book.
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Musings: I’m putting this separately so those who are not interested can choose not to read it.
I was looking up the Ho'oponopono, the Hawaiian healing prayer, when I happened upon a YouTube video of Joe Vitale describing it. Boy, did I have a different understanding of the prayer! I like his version much better.
Both the version I am already familiar with and his include taking responsibility for whatever is happening in the world, good as well as bad. But the prayer focuses on undoing our contribution to whatever is bad in the world.
In the version I was familiar with, I said, "I'm sorry, I love you, forgive me, thank you," to the person who was suffering. But in Vitalie's description, I am saying it to God, or some version of an infinite being. I am supposed to say it whenever I observe something which disturbs me. The theory is if it bothers me, I have some role in it. I may not know what my part is, but it is there. I know I have a role because the circumstances trigger a reaction in me.
I say the prayer not to heal the other person but myself. I want to heal myself from my reaction. In doing so, I also heal the other person or situation.
I have known about the prayer for years, and have used it in the past as I thought it was supposed to be used. I can't wait to put this approach to the prayer into action. I think the difference is that it is for my healing as well as the other persons. That sounds right to me.
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