I had a weird moment last night after the lights were out. Elsa is licking away because her skin is bothering her. I often say, "Elsa, stop it!" She actually did. Last night I said, "Hon, stop it." I haven't used the word 'Hon' since Mike died. He was Hon. Moments like that shoot through me. It felt like my heart was stabbed from the inside. I am confused and grateful for the disparity between how my mind is dealing with his loss versus my body. My mind allows me to stay engaged in life as it is now. My body moans for his loss. I have this great picture of us on the kitchen counter from when we visited Kauai. We're looking up and smiling. That was my favorite face of his when he was alive. I had one I liked the least too. It wasn't an angry face; it was his face pinched with tension.
I went for my shortened walk. My pedometer was at my waist, and my phone was in my short's pocket. There was a thousand step difference between the two. Again, the one that was positioned higher on my body was the one with the lower count.
Elsa's started a new unfortunate behavior. She chases cars. She has always pulled to get to at dogs we encounter. Then she started charging at runners. And over the past several days, she has begun charging moving cars that pass us as we walk. She doesn't bother with cars going the other direction. Maybe I still have that to look forward to.
I went to the nine am mass today. It was the first mass at St. Michael's since the shutdown. The other smaller churches in the parish will not be opening for a while. I managed to arrive while the opening songs were being sung. I thought I was going to be there early. Guess not. Everyone was wearing a mask. I almost started laughing. Hopefully, this will look like a funny scene in the foreseeable future. I had to clean my hands before I went in. I had alcohol on me, so I didn't need to use the church's antibiotic cleaner. An usher sat me at the end of a pew. The pews were neatly marked with green and blue tape. The blue tape was for the parishioners. The pews with the green tape were kept empty. This may have been to assure separation, but it was also necessary because the eucharistic ministers had to walk through those aisles to distribute wafers.
I watched the eucharistic minister assigned to my area come toward me. She wasn't wearing a mask. I thought that was weird. I checked; all the other ministers did have masks on. When she got to me, I said, "Shouldn't you be wearing your mask?" She said yes, paused and put it on. It had been hanging around her wrist. She had been breathing on the wafers for that whole time. What is strange is that no one else said a word to her. One of the parishioners before me was a doctor. I thought if no one is going to say what has to be said in this situation, is it any wonder the George Floyd could be killed while the offending officer's patrol mates looked on.
I texted my primary doctor with the results of my oxygen measure results. We'll see.
I had a Zoom meeting with Dorothy and Shivani to edit my article on my reading method. These guys are the best. Dorothy gives the process thought and time, making changes in the text. Shivani was helpful with suggestions. She had noticed many of the problems that had grabbed Dorothy's attention. She said participating this way works the best for her. She has a full life with work and her three-year-old son.
I loved having all three of us together. I speak to each individual, which is always great, but this was even better. And then there was Sidney in the background and sometimes not so much in the background, and I had Elsa over my shoulder for part of the time. We made a group. It felt wonderful.
I finally got around to walking around the block to try and deliver the Science News that was incorrectly delivered to me. The recipient's address has the same numbers as I have, but the house is on a different street. I had driven up there to deliver it shortly after I received it, but I couldn't find the mailbox. No, wonder I had problems. Our number is 73-4410. As I walked along, I encountered 4413, and then 4409. Okay, what happened to 4410. I continued walking and came upon a mailbox that had no numbers on the outside. When I opened it, I saw 4410 scrawled on the inside of the lid. Besides not having the number of the outside of the box, it was in the wrong sequence.
It had started drizzling as I left for that walk. It continued that way for most of my walk and only beginning to come down heavily as I returned to my driveway. How's that for good luck?
Yesterday, B called, saying he was coming home with Elijah, Sariah, and Kingston. While he was on the phone, he said Sariah decided to stay home. When I called him this morning, I found out Kingston had backed out at the last minute. I texted Kea to have her call me so I could work with Kingston. It had been a busy day for me with church and the zoom meeting. I hadn't contacted her until late in the day. She never got back to me. We'll start again tomorrow.
I had plans to go to the post office this week for the first time since mid-March. I have a present for one-year-old Sam, some special crayons that will be easy for him to work with, and a necklace of my mom's for Karin, her granddaughter, a picture of Mike and me for the Zims in Maryland, and some wooden flowers for Shivani. The flowers are pieces of a craft project that I bought years ago and never did anything with. I also have to figure out how to package a very large scrapbook Shivani's mother and Mike's sister, Randy, gave him many years ago. I thought she had duplicated those pictures in the printed book she prepared for his life. But no, there are many pictures and documents in there that are originals. This is a precious book. I told Shivani that if she or her mom don't want it, they should give it to Damon. It should definitely stay in the family.
I was in bed shortly after 9 pm.
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