Tuesday, March 2, 2021
I was up and wide awake in the middle of the night because I was upset about the work the tree men did. To maintain our ocean views, we need to trim these trees regularly. There would be few people with views if that were not the case. Yvette gets very upset with how the tree crews treat our trees; they top them. I have asked them not to do this to our fruit trees. They say no and then do it. Yvette sent me an email saying she accepted that the tree services here don't know what they are doing and attached an article on tree topping versus tree pruning. I was so upset, I got up and watched a terrible movie, Lake Effects. Egads. I was back in bed by 3:30 am and slept till 5:30, when the alarm went off.
Mind you, I never had a sleepless night during my five weeks in Honolulu while Mike suffered and ultimately died, nor in the weeks after I got home and created a life for myself. Now, I got upset about trees. This is a situation where I feel I have no agency. Now, you could say I had no agency during those five weeks while Mike was in the hospital. No, I didn't. But I didn't expect to. In the case of the trees, I should have agency. And except for one bizarre doctor who had got weird on me and one nurse who hated women, everyone treated me with respect.
I had one experience with a tree man that still haunts me. A friend introduced me to his cousin, saying he said he was good. The two of them stood on my lanai, pressed up against the screen, blocking me out, and discussed what should be done with my trees. I doubt they would have treated Mike that way. Note: Mike is male; I am female. I was the little woman they were going to take care of. Not. It was my home, my trees, and my signature on the check, and I wasn't included in the conversation. Didn't like it!
On my morning walk, my left leg complained. I believe it is because I've gotten more out of it, and it's objecting, not because the problem had gotten worse. There are good things around the corner.
The driveway yoga was delicious, relaxing, and over too quickly.
I spent a good part of the morning tracking down donation receipts. I managed to make two separate donations to three companies. I thought I was being systematic as I went through my list at the end of December. Guess not. As I worked, I heard a noise from the bottom of the driveway. It was Trent's crew chipping the branches they had cut down yesterday. I wanted to go down and talk to them, but I had to leave to get my second Covid shot.
When I was a block from the vaccine site, I remembered I was supposed to bring a card they gave me to this appointment. I wasn't sure if I could get the shot without it. Then I figured I couldn't be the only one who forgot that paper. They must have some other provisions. There was one other person on the check-in line before me. I filled out the paperwork while I sat inside, waiting my turn. I didn't have time to do much reading before I was called. It took some effort, but they could give me another card. Now, they explained what it was for. It was my proof I had had the vaccine shots. This time I put it directly into my wallet.
On my way home, I stopped at Costco in search of vinegar. It was open by 9:30. As I walked in, I saw a sign saying Kukuna, seniors in Hawaiian. Costco was still opening early for us. I went straight to the spice aisle, looking for white vinegar. None. I commented on it to the guy checking packages at the exit on the way out. He said white vinegar is the first thing to go among the foodstuffs. Of course, it isn't just used for food. We use it to clean and kill weeds. I need large quantities for the wedding. I asked why they don't order more. He said it was ordered at headquarters. The local Costco had no control. He did say their orders were in response to how much was bought. Well, since white vinegar goes quickly, they should order more. He said it might also be a problem in the supply line. My guess is that's the problem. White vinegar sounds like a profitable business to go in. I wonder how to make it.
At 11 am, I had a telephone healing session with a new client. I had to introduce her to my protocol. Step one, work on something that you find annoying, not devastating. It's a safer way in. Something devasting is too loaded to be easily unpacked. Annoyance is a sign of access to change. I use that in my teaching. Sometimes I don't work on a problem I am aware of until I find it annoying. I have learned that annoyance signals the students' readiness to learn something new. Second is the principal Buddha the Brilliant developed; we have feelings of aversion and craving. Those feelings cause our worst grief; whatever the original pain might be, A & C magnify them. Therefore, when a client, or I in my own work, hit a strong feeling that feels impassable, I apply these releases: "I release anything negative about my hate for this feeling or situation, keep anything positive or anything I still need," and then, "I release anything negative about my love for this feeling or situation, keep anything positive or anything I still need." Then we wait to see if there is any energy release. I can feel the energy release. Sometimes clients can, and sometimes they can't. If they can't, my question is, "Do you feel more relaxed?" This is the criterion for a successful auction. If the person feels greater tension, we are moving in the wrong direction. All very simple, but it works.
Judy called. She is doing a little better each day. She is resolved to stay on a regular regime of pain killers, Tylenol, until she knows she can get off and be moderate with her physical activity. The doctor told her to stop whatever she was doing when she felt pain and rest. She can do damage. Those tissues need a chance to heal.
I got a text from D's mom. Tomorrow was his birthday; could we have his session on another day? Yes, today at 1:30. I tried to get a short nap in. After 45 minutes, I was good to go. I went for one of my short walks to build up my step count. I have been working with him on the Barnell Loft inferencing exercises I initially prepared for M. This is perfect for him. I am so glad I participated in that conference. While one woman was nasty, downright contemptuous about my work, she did help me knock myself off the course I was stuck on. D's teacher had brought me on board because she hoped I could help D. with his memory problems using my Brain Management Skills program. I have had zero success with that. There are other ways to work around that problem. There are other things to work on. I have ignored them. I was hoping D's mom would tell me she didn't want me to work with her son anymore. She did that with D's third-grade teacher. "It's okay. You don't have to work with D. anymore. Betty's okay." Did she do that out of consideration of Mrs. B., who had the whole class to contend with, or because she thought I was doing a better job? We didn't know.
I walked down to the bottom of the driveway to talk with the tree men. Yvette's article gave me a framework for discussing the problem. It wasn't the lead guy, Trent, I had dealt with before. It was his half-brother, Irwin, and his father Thad. Thad has been doing tree work forever. I asked if they knew the difference between pruning and topping. They said yes. I asked if it was possible to do more pruning instead of topping. They said yes. Thad said Trent understood I wanted the view preserved, which would mean topping. I asked if I could have more pruning done. I understood it would involve more labor and, therefore, more money. They said sure. Thad explained that the concern for tree topping had more application in places that experienced extreme temperature changes. Where you might be able to top 1/3 of a tree in that area without killing it, you could top 2/3 of a tree here without worry. It also occurred to me there was no way to make a tree shorter without topping it. The problem isn't Hawaiian tree men; the problem is the residents (me) who want our views.
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