I will be 80 on December 5, my second birthday, without Mike, for those who don't know my age. I recently learned that it is possible to have a nice strong urine stream at my age. (You can see what I think about now.) I don't have that. I wrote my doctor and was told that I may have a prolapsed pelvic floor. Exercise works for some people. Hope it works for me. I can't be too far from a bathroom as it is now.
Yvette canceled yoga because she needed to rest. She was feeling stressed out. That meant I could call her if I got stuck doing my gardening again—this time, I did it standing up and leaning over. With the long-handled clippers, I could reach down to the bottom of the stalks. I worked until my body said, "I need a rest." Then I went to work in the garden off my bedroom, where I could stay standing the whole time. In one of my sessions clipping the heliconia, I keeled over.
Now, fair's fair. I am working on a slope, facing the downhill. I lost my balance and went down. Nothing got hurt, at least not on my body. I landed on top of the plants, particularly a bush. Well, it got squished. It will grow back. I called Yvette, assured her I was just fine and asked her to come up and help me.
When she got to my side, I was lying on my back, taking in the sky. I asked her to get the two kneeling pads at the side of the house. That way, I could roll over onto my belly without having to get stones embedded in some part of me. Once there and on my knees, Yvette grabbed my hips and hauled me up. Because I was facing downhill, she had to pull me a bit farther than she initially thought to get my legs securely under me. I told her not to go to sleep. I was going to do some more work and might need her again. Why not? The exercise is good for me.
My legs are weak. This cannot be caused by my hip problem; I have this problem with both legs. I think it comes out of my back. The other theory is that as I changed my alignment, I engaged muscles that have not been used, maybe ever because of my spinal curvature. As I corrected my posture, my back and leg alignment changed. Muscles were asked to work differently.
Dorothy and I had another editing zoom session. This is a fantastic process. Not only is Dorothy more engaged than anyone else who has read my article, but our back and forth is so informative. Between the two of us, we actually developed something new yesterday. Love it!
I started noting my protein source on a calendar. That way, I can see how I've been eating. I always have a salad or broccoli and some meat source. It's nothing fancy, but it's decent food. Dorothy detailed how she prepared miso soup for herself. She added all these vegetables. Mixing foods like that only happens when I make tuna salad: I mix in celery and onions along with the mayonnaise, advanced food prep skills as far as I'm concerned.
I've been having flashbacks of my time in the hospital with Mike. I managed to endure his suffering because I held on to the idea that he would recover and his suffering would help him become a better, richer person. I did my best to comfort him and my best to ignore how bad his pain made me feel. Now, I can feel every nerve in my body screaming. He was so miserable.
The worst was the night he told me he was so lonely. I couldn't stay by his side all the time. I don't know if my company alone would have filled his need. He was lonely for the person he used to be. I told him to talk to Jesus. Jesus could be with him all the time. I never asked him if he was able to do that and if it helped. I do know that when asked by Vi, "Do you want to go to Jesus?" his answer was an emphatic," Yes!" I'd like to think he drew some comfort in that way. At least, it gives me some comfort to think so.
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Musings:
I will be working with one child that has been diagnosed with autism. I think his sister is also on the spectrum. They both sound like 'little professors.' I think they speak with 'a reading voice.' Having thought about this, I have concluded that we talk differently when we read than when we hold a conversation. Having said it, anyone who reads this will think, duh. However, students are told that fluent reading means reading, so it sounds like you're speaking. True, for children who read word by word, it is good advice. But sounding like you're not reading when you are is a professional skill.
That quality of voice comes from the right side of the brain, the side of the brain responsible for music. Speaking is a form of singing, or, if you like, singing is a form of speaking. Aspects of speech, the suprasegmentals, have all the elements of music: rhythm, pitch, duration, and volume. Those are controlled by the right side of the brain.
I have done work with children who have trouble with speech sounds called phonemes. They often have difficulty learning to read, in the sense of reading the words accurately. I teach them to use the left side of their brain more. Now, I'm wondering if I can help autistic people develop the right side of their brains more.
I know autism is considered a neurological disorder; I wondered if it can respond to a simple set of directions to use a different part of the brain? I get it. I don't know if it will work. However, I have helped kids considered to be dyslexic. As it winds up, there are various reasons people overemphasize the use of one side of the brain and the underuse of the other. It's worth a try.
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