Sunday, July 11, 2021

 Sunday, July 11, 2021

 

            The sky was cloudy by 7 am today. Usually, it's clear in the early morning, and clouds over by 10. Yesterday was bad. We were on the grid by 6 pm. The solar batteries were at 0%.

            I used my glutes to initiate every step as I walked this morning. I always come back to something a dancer said to me when I was in my twenties. Beth was a dance major and became a professional dancer. She was a nasty piece of work. Her answers, at least to me, were always snide. I asked her if she used her turn-out muscles in some context. She replied, "I use my turn-out muscles when I walk." I sure as hell didn't. Over and over, the opportunity to learn to use them more when I was younger. I always thought turn out started at the top of the thigh. Now, I see they start with the glutes. Maybe I'll yet discover another set of muscles is involved. I always think I've finally understood, and I'm doing it correctly, only to learn otherwise. Using my glutes felt right because when I use my glutes, the movement goes down my leg to my foot and up my back to the opposite shoulder.

            Between the two long naps I took, I got some work done in the house. I polished all the stainless steel in my kitchen. It's a little more labor-intensive here in Hawaii. Stainless steel rusts. I don't just have to polish the surface; I have to rub off the rust spots gently. It all looks good. I also cleaned the silverware drawer, washed all the utensils, and cleaned the inside drawer and the organizer.

            I feel consistently sad and weighted. While I'm in better shape than I was after having someone I rely on telling me they were concerned about my mental condition because I didn't remember something they did that triggered a historical trauma. Of course, there's also Britany Spears's dilemma. People do like to take control of your life. Having someone build a case for my mental incompetence doesn't make me feel safe.

            I called Dorothy to get advice about what to say on the final slide of my reading video. She had a great suggestion. When I first called, her phone was turned off. Dorothy remotely attended a wedding today. Her daughter's mother-in-law has had a resurgence of her cancer and wasn't expected to last long. David's brother Alex had a quickly put-together wedding in his parents' backyard. He was already engaged; it was just the wedding that was a rush job. They were probably planning to wait until all Covid restrictions were dropped. They got engaged last year.  

            Alex and his girlfriend were walking through the NYC streets when everyone banged pots and pans out of their windows, thanking first responders. Alex was a doctor working in an NYC hospital during the worst of the crisis. In the middle of this chaos, Alex dropped to his knees and asked her to marry him. 

            Dorothy said there were about twenty people at the wedding. David, Karin, Sam, their two-year-old son, and Alex's sister were already there. Her husband flew in from Texas. Of course, there was the bride's family. Friends of the bride and groom were there too. They threw the whole event together in eight days. There were flowers, and it was catered. There were two videographers. The whole shebang. It's wonderful that Nancy saw her kids settle before she took her last breath. Now, the question is how much longer she will last. She will be surrounded by family when she goes. I hope she goes peacefully.