Tuesday, July 6, 2021

 Tuesday, July 6, 2021

 

            I had a good night’s sleep. No troubling thoughts at all until it was almost time to get up. Yoga was delicious. I did most of it lying down while others did parts standing and sitting. There was a breeze blowing around my bare legs. So peaceful.

            At 8:30, I was supposed to have Mama K’s crew. When she hadn’t signed on by 8:35, I called. She apologized; she slept in. I told her to call me when she was ready. I was free till 10:15 when I had to get ready to leave for my haircut appointment. By 9 am, I needed a nap. Despite the untroubled night’s sleep, I was exhausted. I think I am processing grief. It is a tiring job.  

            I called Deb at Raymond James this morning. I wanted to check how my money would be distributed after my death. One note stated that August, Mike’s grandson, was to collect 100% of the trust when he turned 25. Yikes! The trust is the money I have left for myself and to bequeath others. How does August get to collect 100% of that money? Does he get to collect it when he is 25, seven years from now, even if I’m still alive? It’s coming out that Mike made some financial agreements with people he didn’t tell me about. He should have known better.  

            Mike was a wonderful caring guy. He was also somewhat neurotic. If he thought that person suffered the way he had as a child, he was driven to give them way more than was appropriate. He would also deny someone money if he didn’t think they had suffered as he had. As I said, somewhat neurotic. He was lucky I loved him. I’m learning about some of this behavior now. No, I don’t feel betrayed. I felt sad for him that he suffered from this compulsion. Fortunately, we had enough money that his behavior did no serious damage to our finances or our relationship. He didn’t drink, gamble, or spend money on other women. I’m good, so we were still good. But now I had to wonder what he did with August. Travis from Raymond James did quite get the facts down as it wound up. 

            Mike had left the benefit from a Life Insurance policy to August. It was that he was entitled to collect at the age of 25. Because it isn’t in trust, his parents can use it as they wish. It will be paying for a costly college—at least part of the cost of an expensive college.

            I am feeling weird today. I cried at the drop of a hat yesterday after a tortured night. Now, I am calm again. I shouldn’t complain that I switch back and forth. The switches go between deep grief and calm, not deep depression and hyperness. That would be a worry.

            I finally hooked up with Mama K’s crew at 9:30. I only had time to work with A and E because I had to leave for a hairdresser appointment. A keeps on calling the letter i,  e.   Because I learned yesterday that E doesn’t know all the letters of the alphabet either, I checked that. She knows more than A but has the same confusion between i and e. I worked on the -at words with E too. We hadn’t worked on them for three days now. She did better than usual. She started confusing the letter name with the sound it represents in a word. Ah, she probably was confused because I asked her the names of the letters in the alphabet. That set her up to think in those terms.  

            I left the house at 10:30 for my haircut appointment. The traffic was at a standstill on Mamalahoa Hwy. They were mowing the verges on a two-lane highway. I made it in time. I am always greeted warmly at the Salon. I get these fantastic haircuts with Randee. Yvette recommended her when I first arrived. There are two other operators. Susan lost her husband to pancreatic cancer 14 years ago, leaving her alone with a one-year-old child. I know Meagan from Bikram. It’s a small town. Love it. 

            I drove home via Alii drive. I wanted to see the ocean up close. If I had more time, I might have stopped a while to soak in the view. While I can see the ocean from my lanai, I never go down to the waterfront. I really must. It would be so good for me. 

            I had adolescent D at 1 pm. I checked how he was after our work yesterday. He said he didn’t have a headache. I was concerned because he had one due to our work yesterday. However, he remembered nothing about the work. I was concerned that it might have been too deep for him. He seems to be okay. He said he thought his memory was better. He couldn’t give me specific examples of something he remembered that he might not normally have. Given this kid is one of the most withholding on the planet, his clear, “Yes, it’s better,” is a good sign.  

            I had him read the sentences with the sight words. He did better. But there were three words he had trouble with today. Two he hadn’t had a problem with yesterday; he read comes instead of came twice. However, there were several incidents where he read the wrong word and caught himself. I’m not sure why that is; has he memorized the sentences, or did his mind tell him the letters in the word were different than in the word he read?

            I asked him if he wanted to work on a word list or a paragraph. He said a word list. Hmm! When I spoke to Judy about it, she said reading a word list is more difficult. Yes and no. Reading words in context is easier because you can use the words you know to help you infer the word you don’t know. However, if attending to the letters is your problem, reading a word in isolation would be easier. I think this is his problem.  

            I’ve instructed him to work on saying all the letters in words on his own. I don’t think he does it, and I don’t think his mother pushes him to do it. I will have to have him do this before he reads every sentence. I may have to push him to write the letters in shaving cream or clay if saying all the letters in a word doesn’t refine his visual attentional system