I arrived at the hospital about an
hour ago.
Good news: He is
holding steady, and his eyes look more focused.
Bad news: His
breathing is worse than it was yesterday. I raised the issue with the nurse
because I have been told that there is liquid in his lungs that he aspirated
from excess stomach fluids. When he pulled his ventilator out, the tube which
was draining the stomach juices also came out. I am concerned that there is
more liquid in his lungs as a result.
Oh, this is so much fun! The
nurse assured me that I have to expect his progress to be inconsistent besides
slow.
He continues to be delirious. The nurse says he can tell you who he is but
does not know where he is or why he is here.
Periodically, he says, "Help me!" Yikes, that enough to rip my
guts out.
Good news: He continues to respond positively to the
rosary. I brought in his Microsoft
Powerbook, which his grandson, August, helped him pick out on his last trip to
LA. Good thing we have a consultant in
the family. I couldn't figure out how to
turn the thing on this morning, no less connect it to the WIFI and then
YouTube. All's good now. The power book is propped up next to his head, and the
rosary is being recited. Now, how do I
put it on continuously play, so I don't have to be here 24/7 to turn it on
again?
The rosary I put on came to an end.
The next YouTube selection came up. It
was this man talking about his conversion from Judaism to Catholicism. He talks about growing up in the 50s. This
man is telling Mike's story. I asked
Mike if he wanted to listen to this. He said yes. I was thinking of getting other programs on
Catholicism to keep his mind active.
I started writing my side of the
story. A friend told me to write stuff
down so I can remember it. I'm thinking if Mike makes it out of here, which
seems likely but not a for sure yet, he can 'read all about it.'
I slept in a Bnb last night with
Shivani, my niece. She left early this morning to return to her partner and
their two-year-old son in San Francisco.
I can't begin to tell you what a blessing it was to have Damon, Mike's
son, and Shivani here with me. The two
of them made sure that I was okay. They
relieved me of a burden. Shivani found the Bnb, and she spent one night with me
there, unbelievable. Damon took care of the car. A friend recommended Turo, which is sort of
an Uber for car rentals. Damon looked
for Priuses, which is the car I drive at home.
Also, this search is somewhat cheaper and more flexible. Since each dealer is its own private
corporation, the system is slightly less bureaucratic.
`Shivani and I took an Uber out to get
the Turo rental car. The pick-up location was in a crowded suburban
neighborhood. I liked the informality. We drove from there to the Bnb she had found.
Shivani gave great thought about
the Bnb. She looked at many pictures and
thought to select a woman closer to my age than someone in their 30s, thinking
that person would be more responsive to me. We arrived, it wasn't quite what we
thought it was. It is a separate building,
but the interior is somewhat jerry-rigged.
Shivani asked if it would be okay. I'm thinking: Holy Cow! For starters,
it sure beats sleeping on the golf course, which was close to the hospital, and
I might have considered. Secondly, it's
clean, neat and the bed is comfortable. Of course, we were coming from a 5-star
hotel. This is just fine. And I slept like a baby.
Shivani left before sunrise this
morning to make her plane. While I had
slept well, I still felt 'hungover." Mind you, this is without the benefit
of alcohol. I got up, organized my
possessions, and headed for the hospital.
I drove the speed limit and felt like I was the little old lady holding
up the traffic. Oh, yeah. Yvette, our
goddaughter, has pointed out to me that I am a little old lady.
I am feeling drained. I sent out texts telling people that Mike was
steady but delirious. And I didn't want
to speak to anyone for the day. The best
thing would be a 24-hour silent retreat.
Not possible.
I pulled into the hospital parking
lot. When I got out of my car, I heard running water. I went to the edge of the parking lot, and
there was a small waterfall. It's kind of natural, in as much nature is making
use of the man-made contours blasted out the side of the hill to build the
parking lot. I leaned against the wall
of the parking lot, and just drank in the scene. I can draw energy from nature and art. I remained there for several minutes. I noticed the tall grass moving at the side
of this small waterfall. There were tiny
brown birds flying about and landing on the blades of grass, scarcely bending
them. I have no idea what kind of birds
they were. I would say it is a
hummingbird. Anyone ever seen a brown
hummingbird? I also caught sight of
another bird I had never seen before.
This one is finch sized, black with white stripes on its wings.
I finally went upstairs, dropped
off the computer bags, said hello to Mike, said some rosary, and went to the
cafeteria to get some breakfast. As I started writing this, I felt a little
less drained. I feel better when I can
write. I have no idea why this would be the case, but I'll take it.
Dr. Izawa, the specialist on his
case, just came in. He tells me his blood count is higher, but they don't expect
infection since it didn't show up on the CT yesterday. The good doctor said
that today is just more of the same, "He's in a holding pattern." He
said he was reassured by the results of the CT scan.
I came back downstairs and finally
got hold of my grandson to have him help me set up Mike's Powerbook.
Mike is sleeping now. The nurse is coming by to suction him. There seems to be something gurgling around
in his throat. His eyes are wide open, and he is listening to the lecture.
11:29am. I was just introduced to
Daisy, who will be Mike's sitter to watch that he doesn't pull out any more
tubes. The care is really amazing. I am so grateful.
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