I asked Toyota to remove Mike's name from the account and use mine instead. That was painful. It's weird the way the grief hits. I'm fine, and then something triggers it. I am reminded of how I felt when I gave up cigarettes. The urges would get further and further apart, days, weeks, months. The final one was 10 years after I stopped smoking at some random moment after I hadn't had an urge in years. I knelt down on a bridge to look down at the water, and wham, there it was. Grieving Mike feels a lot like withdrawal from a lifetime habit. The difference between Mike and cigarettes is that he was a healthy habit. Of course, not all marital relations can make that claim.
I stopped at the Carpet Care Center to pick up the new floor attachment. Then I remembered that I was supposed to bring in the wand to make sure the attachment fit. Oh, well. There's always tomorrow.
I went to Target because my pedometer stopped working, and I thought I needed new batteries. I also decided to buy a new electric tea kettle. I have some mixed feelings about that because Mike gave me the one I currently have. I have never been satisfied with it, and I saw a beautiful one when I visited Karin and David in Seattle. Target also had Hersey's Milk Chocolate with almonds Kisses on sale. Didn't miss that opportunity. Oh, I also picked up two apples, $1.74 each for Honeycrisps. There is a downside to Hawaii.
On the way home, I called Dorothy. For those of you who don't know, our father was Jewish. That whole side of his family is Jewish. My sister converted to Judaism; she had to because our father was Jewish, not our mother. The religion gets passed down only through the maternal lineage. I wanted to know how she was coping with Trump's latest move: declaring Judaism a nationality. My friend Judy told me that Jewish leaders support this idea despite their knowledge that this was one of Hitler's first moves against the Jews. Dorothy and I both suspect that there are some orthodox leaders out there who like the idea. It reinforces tribalism and possibly the connection to Israel. Although, there are orthodox groups who are opposed to Israel as a nation-state. Trump is doing this to support the Jews, particularly Israel, but as with all decisions like this, it can be turned against them in the wrong hands. There are plenty of anti-Semites out there who are jumping for joy right now.
At home, I ran the final load with my Bikram stuff and the last of Mike's sweatshirts, sweatpants, and heavy long-sleeved polo shirts. Then I went out to spray the garden weeds with vinegar. I monitor the two-foot path I created between the plumbago shrub and the neighbor's fence. I try to go out once a week to redirect branches, reaching out for the fence. That patch is facing south; this may be a losing battle.
When I came inside, I showered and made ready for school. R in Mrs. D's class wasn't in – again. She is frequently absent. I worked with B and N. I continued with the spelling with B as we worked the last time. I asked him how he wanted to work: did he want me to say the sounds while he said the letter; did he want to make the sounds, and I would say the letters, did he want to do both himself or have me do both. I am creating the least stressful situation for him so he can stay focused. He wanted to be the one making the sounds and have me say the letters as I wrote them. He did very well, except with some constant blends, which are a sequence of consonants like pr-, pl, etc. These are usually taught as a single sound unit. I don't teach it that way. If phonemic awareness is a good measure of a student's success in reading, those two phonemes have to be identified as two phonemes, not one. I asked him if listening to the audio file on Bandcamp helped. He said yes, a lot.
Mrs. D's class had to go to the library for half an hour, so I switched to Mrs. B's class, working with D. While he had improved, he forgets so much. I don't know how many times I've said, "start with the vowel sound," not the initial sound with words you don't know at all. Today, he didn't even know what a vowel was. He forgets all the procedures. He strikes me as a bright child, besides being a real mensch, which means a deeply decent human being. It's very frustrating. I don't have any clues on how to approach the problem with him other than good ole repetition. He remains cheerful and pleased with the progress he has made.
When I went into the room to pick up D, I had looked around for K. I finally found her when I saw a child hiding behind a classmate. I knew that it must be K. I reminded her that she didn't have to work with me. I would drop her altogether, but I don't want her to think that it's her I don't like versus this horrible behavior. That could be very damaging.
Mrs. B had told me that she had made good progress and said that she had another student who needed my help, I. He was eager to come out and work with me. He was struggling at a first-grade level and brought out a high-2nd-grade book. Okay. I had him name the letters in sequence in words in the story. He did a great job. Then I had him identify the sounds in words. He also did a great job. Then, the Kindergarteners arrived to be read to by the 3rd graders. He wanted to participate. Mrs. B said he could stay with me. I told her no. He very much wanted to work with his K buddy. I don't compete with pleasure. I figure it is a way to communicate to the kids that I care what they think and feel. I want them to feel they have some control over the situation. I find they trust me more and make better learning partners.
Mrs. D's class was back in the room. I went to get N. We were working on comprehension. He had the book we were working on Tuesday in his backpack. I had told him to read it and tell me what happened. I was genuinely curious about how the story turned out. I asked him a general question about what the story was about. He said he didn't know. I asked my usual dumb question, which frees them to correct me, "Was it about elephants?" He didn't know. I asked him if the story was about animals or people. He didn't know. Wow! He had no, no, no, recall of the story. None!. Holy cow!!! This is a new one.
I had already learned that narration is stored on the right side of the brain. I asked N. which side he used to recall the story. He used the left side. I asked him if he was good at remembering facts. He said yes. He was good at remembering his multiplication facts. Okay. This gives me a clue. I had him pay attention to the right side of his brain to recall the story. He was actually able to bring up some as we worked. He said it was new for him. Hopefully, I'm on to something. Coincidentally, if there had been any question in my mind, I came across the statement in McGilcrist's book tonight that narration is on the brain's right side. That gave me confidence that I may be able to solve this one in short shrift.
At some point, I asked him if he was sad or happy that I knew about his problem. He said, happy. I asked it to determine his frame of mind, but I have a different feeling as I'm typing. I am awash in gratitude that the students trust me so much that they are willing to let me see their problems. Then, I asked him if he wanted to continue or stop. He was working hard. It is exhausting to make changes like that. He said he wanted to stop.
I asked I., who I had worked with earlier for the first time, to come out for a few minutes. We only had 10 minutes left before dismissal. I checked his visual working memory. It was in the forehead area, as it should be. When I checked his auditory working memory, he pointed to the same spot. Okay. I showed him how to locate the auditory working memory in a spot deep in the brain. I put a pencil eraser on the top of his head, around the fontanel, just to the left of the midline, and another one at the temple area. I told him to focus on the spot where these two would meet if I were to push them into his head. When I write this stuff, I can imagine trained neuroscientists laughing out loud, thinking what a fool I am. However, it works. Let them laugh; I'm helping kids learn to read, not making a presentation at a neuroscientific conference. I use their knowledge to help me develop new ways to help people.
When I got home, I napped. It was a tiring day. My neck and right hip hurt. I was working with a stick again. I hadn't been able to find it yesterday. That was a little scary. I had looked through the house repeatedly. Today, I finally found it. It was out in the back yard, where I had left it when I hung up the laundry.
On that note, when I hung up today's load, I finally figured out what is causing all that lint. I am. It's my yoga towel. It's disintegrating. I could see if it was getting thinner but didn't realize what was going on in the wash.
I fed Elsa tonight before we went for a walk. With Dr. Marty's, you have to add some hot water and let it sit for three minutes before serving it. In the past, she doesn't leave the bowl while it sits on the counter for those three minutes. Not now. Now, she's chasing after me with that ball in her mouth, asking me to throw it. I guess the ball addiction trumps food addiction.
While her food sat, I started working on emptying the guest room for when the carpet installers come next week. I pulled six suitcases out of the closet. I just moved them into the center of the room. I have to decide which ones I will keep and which ones I will get rid of. I don't need six suitcases. The young woman told me that her suitcase broke. I will give her one.
I finally walked Elsa. On the way, I ran into Bob down the street, who was out for a smoke. Then the mailman, Bruce, pulled up to deliver the mail to Bob's house. He asked me if I got the package he put in my mailbox. It was for the young man who is staying here. He was confused because he didn't recognize the name. It's small-town living. Although, it isn't that small a town anymore.
When I got home, I ate some salad, some of the leftover hamburger from last night, and some of the remaining spicy pasta Steve made for my breakfast.
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