I slept well for most of the night. When I woke in the early morning hours, I started worrying about the guest room floor. I had to remind myself that this was a problem to be solved.-period end of sentence. I have the money I need to redo the job. I don’t think this is the part that bothers me. It was having done it wrong in the first place. There’s my mother’s voice telling me I can do nothing right.
I almost didn’t go to Bikram. The class wasn’t as crowded as I expected. I was agitated during class and couldn’t quiet my mind. After class, I drove straight to Judy’s, looking for comfort. She didn’t agree with my point of view, but she, Paulette, and I laughed a lot, and they served me sample hors d’oeuvres they were trying out for tomorrow night’s dinner. Laughing with them helped.
When I got home, I read a long comforting email from Dorothy wishing me well on my first Christmas without Mike. I’m just ignoring Christmas. I haven’t enjoyed it for years. I hate shopping under all circumstances unless it for hardware. And then there’s anxiety about wrapping presents and hoping people like them and hoping I like the gifts they give me.
I didn’t get much done today. I sent out chapters from the book I completed a while ago to Shivani and Dorothy because I am overwhelmed. I am hoping they will give me specific instructions. “Be clearer here! Too wordy, cut this in half. Define your terms! This detail is unnecessary.” I did some work on the incomplete chapter on syllable division.
Elsa and I did our walk. When I got home, I made dinner of eggs, cheese, a few slices of butter bread, and cheese. At one point, I put my hands on my waist with a bit of cheese in my hand. Someone leaped up and snatched that cheese. Good thing she’s not a lot larger.
After dinner, I watched the rest of Crazy Rich Asians. It was fun, but I was expecting something more substantial. Not heavy, just more like My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It was very lightweight.
When it was over, I watched a new English mystery, Wycliffe. It must have been issued a while ago from the way the print looks. It’s a good show, less violent more civilized than the ones made today.
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