Wednesday, December 25, 2019

    I had another fantastic night's sleep.  I think I only got up once to pee. This is not good. It means I didn't drink enough water during the day.  I woke up around 6 am even though there was no yoga class today, and lay in bed, dozing, until 7.  

    Elsa and I did our walk.  Judy noticed the other day that I wasn't bending my left knee when I walked.  Just a transitional moment.  I still have to move my right hip back further back, forcing my left leg forward.  I was able to accomplish that today. The result - my steps were so smooth they didn't register on my pedometer.  After I had walked a distance, which usually merited 1000 steps, my pedometer register 500 feet.  Oh, dear. 

    Oh,  I still haven't worn my medical alert button once. It's sitting safely on an end table on my lanai. Isn't that a good place for it?

    Judy and Paulette wanted to go to church early because they were singing.  I thought Judy was going to participate in the choir. It's usually just Paulette leading the singing. They said they were going to leave early, by 9:20.  At 9:30, I started to worry.  I texted them. Had they forgotten me?  No, they were just leaving. As I got in the car, I handed Paulette two serving plates, the disposable plate I had kept to store the pieces of cake from Thanksgiving that I had washed, along with several disposable cups. They are all reusable.  The serving plates were for the asparagus we will be having for dinner.

    A middle-aged couple was sitting in front of Judy and me in church. From the time they arrived until they left, they were sexually flirting with each other. It was one of those new relationships when folks can't keep their hands off each other. It was annoying for a while because it was much more interesting than the church events.  I was able to ignore them once the mass started.  Judy, not so much.  At one point, I swear the woman had moved her arm to the front of his body in an inappropriate way.  I could tell by his fidgeting and the look on her face.

On the other hand, truth to be told, I sometimes did that to Mike, just not as obviously. I did it only to tease him. He'd giggle and move my arm. 

    Two young adults were sitting next to the woman who wound up being her kids. They were attentive to each other.  I guessed that mom wasn't as focused on being a mom as she should have been, and the kids took to caring for each other.  On the other hand, it's really not fair to assume that these moments in the church accurately represented who she was for their whole life.

    There were also two women sitting next to me, a mother, age 90, and her daughter, both elegant women, who attend mass every Sunday.  I asked their names and introduced myself.  I told them I was Mike's wife, Deacon Mike.  They told me they didn't know him, "How long had he been a deacon?" I told them he had been active in our church for five years. "Oh, you'll have to point him out to me," I told them he had died in March.  I felt a rise of anger that they didn't know who Mike was. He was such an amazing man and made such wonderful contributions to the church; how dare they not know who he was.  Oh, well.

    I'm always tired after church. When I got home, I looked over one of the book chapters, emailed three I had completed a while ago, and planned to send out yesterday to Dorothy and Shivani.  I played FreeCell and napped. I set the alarm for 4:20 pm. So I would be ready to go to Judy's Christmas dinner at 5.

    Damon called while I was trying to nap. My smartphone announced it was him, but I wasn't up for this conversation.  He, Cylin, and August have visited us every Christmas. This Christmas, I was alone.  I think that was for the best.  Having them here without Mike being around would not be great.  

    I talked to Damon about the likelihood of him ever coming out for Christmas again.  He didn't come this Christmas because he wanted to use the time to look at colleges with August. He said, "No!" They were planning to come out again.  I said I thought he wanted to use the time to spend time with August.  He said coming to Hawaii is a way of assuring that he does spend time with August.  The lure of Kua Bay.  I thought we have to make sure that August knows he can bring friends here too.  

    I got up shortly after his call and opened two of the Christmas presents he sent me.  One was the calendar prepared by Shutterfly he always sends with pictures of his family and friends taken over the year. The second was a much smaller package, but also from Shutterfly.  I couldn't imagine what was in there. I opened the mail envelope to find a yellow packing envelope inside.  I opened that and found a small silken bag. I open that and found a Christmas ornament with a picture of Mike on the glass.  He is wearing a baseball cap with my blue sun hat on top.  I have no idea why that happened., but it's a sweet picture of him showing what a game guy he was.  However, the look I loved the most wasn't there.

    He would look at me with sheer delight and pleasure just because I was.  I think you can see that look regularly on a mother's face when she looks at her young children.  You can see it less frequently on a father's face when he looks at his young children. 

            I once saw that look on my niece's husband's face as he gazed at her.  Mike saw it too.  I told him I loved the way he loved her.  Mike said, "You're wondering how you ever got to be so lucky." David, Karin's husband, nodded in agreement.  Whatever that look is, it is only there when they are looking at their loved one. It's hard to catch on a camera.  All the pictures I have of him remind me that I will never see that look again.  Note: if you have a loved one who looks at you that way, catch it now so you will have it once they're gone; they will be gone someday if you're not gone first.  

    Shivani and Sidney called before the alarm went off. Sidney didn't look too good. He was running a Wednesday, December 25, 2019

 

    I had another fantastic night's sleep.  I think I only got up once to pee. This is not good. It means I didn't drink enough water during the day.  I woke up around 6 am even though there was no yoga class today, and lay in bed, dozing, until 7.  

    Elsa and I did our walk.  Judy noticed the other day that I wasn't bending my left knee when I walked.  Just a transitional moment.  I still have to move my right hip back further back, forcing my left leg forward.  I was able to accomplish that today. The result - my steps were so smooth they didn't register on my pedometer.  After I had walked a distance, which usually merited 1000 steps, my pedometer register 500 feet.  Oh, dear. 

    Oh,  I still haven't worn my medical alert button once. It's sitting safely on an end table on my lanai. Isn't that a good place for it?

    Judy and Paulette wanted to go to church early because they were singing.  I thought Judy was going to participate in the choir. It's usually just Paulette leading the singing. They said they were going to leave early, by 9:20.  At 9:30, I started to worry.  I texted them. Had they forgotten me?  No, they were just leaving. As I got in the car, I handed Paulette two serving plates, the disposable plate I had kept to store the pieces of cake from Thanksgiving that I had washed, along with several disposable cups. They are all reusable.  The serving plates were for the asparagus we will be having for dinner.

    A middle-aged couple was sitting in front of Judy and me in church. From the time they arrived until they left, they were sexually flirting with each other. It was one of those new relationships when folks can't keep their hands off each other. It was annoying for a while because it was much more interesting than the church events.  I was able to ignore them once the mass started.  Judy, not so much.  At one point, I swear the woman had moved her arm to the front of his body in an inappropriate way.  I could tell by his fidgeting and the look on her face.

On the other hand, truth to be told, I sometimes did that to Mike, just not as obviously. I did it only to tease him. He'd giggle and move my arm. 

    Two young adults were sitting next to the woman who wound up being her kids. They were attentive to each other.  I guessed that mom wasn't as focused on being a mom as she should have been, and the kids took to caring for each other.  On the other hand, it's really not fair to assume that these moments in the church accurately represented who she was for their whole life.

    There were also two women sitting next to me, a mother, age 90, and her daughter, both elegant women, who attend mass every Sunday.  I asked their names and introduced myself.  I told them I was Mike's wife, Deacon Mike.  They told me they didn't know him, "How long had he been a deacon?" I told them he had been active in our church for five years. "Oh, you'll have to point him out to me," I told them he had died in March.  I felt a rise of anger that they didn't know who Mike was. He was such an amazing man and made such wonderful contributions to the church; how dare they not know who he was.  Oh, well.

    I'm always tired after church. When I got home, I looked over one of the book chapters, emailed three I had completed a while ago, and planned to send out yesterday to Dorothy and Shivani.  I played FreeCell and napped. I set the alarm for 4:20 pm. So I would be ready to go to Judy's Christmas dinner at 5.

    Damon called while I was trying to nap. My smartphone announced it was him, but I wasn't up for this conversation.  He, Cylin, and August have visited us every Christmas. This Christmas, I was alone.  I think that was for the best.  Having them here without Mike being around would not be great.  

    I talked to Damon about the likelihood of him ever coming out for Christmas again.  He didn't come this Christmas because he wanted to use the time to look at colleges with August. He said, "No!" They were planning to come out again.  I said I thought he wanted to use the time to spend time with August.  He said coming to Hawaii is a way of assuring that he does spend time with August.  The lure of Kua Bay.  I thought we have to make sure that August knows he can bring friends here too.  

    I got up shortly after his call and opened two of the Christmas presents he sent me.  One was the calendar prepared by Shutterfly he always sends with pictures of his family and friends taken over the year. The second was a much smaller package, but also from Shutterfly.  I couldn't imagine what was in there. I opened the mail envelope to find a yellow packing envelope inside.  I opened that and found a small silken bag. I open that and found a Christmas ornament with a picture of Mike on the glass.  He is wearing a baseball cap with my blue sun hat on top.  I have no idea why that happened., but it's a sweet picture of him showing what a game guy he was.  However, the look I loved the most wasn't there.

    He would look at me with sheer delight and pleasure just because I was.  I think you can see that look regularly on a mother's face when she looks at her young children.  You can see it less frequently on a father's face when he looks at his young children. 

            I once saw that look on my niece's husband's face as he gazed at her.  Mike saw it too.  I told him I loved the way he loved her.  Mike said, "You're wondering how you ever got to be so lucky." David, Karin's husband, nodded in agreement.  Whatever that look is, it is only there when they are looking at their loved one. It's hard to catch on a camera.  All the pictures I have of him remind me that I will never see that look again.  Note: if you have a loved one who looks at you that way, catch it now so you will have it once they're gone; they will be gone someday if you're not gone first.  

    Shivani and Sidney called before the alarm went off. Sidney didn't look too good. He was running a temperature and not feeling his best. Shivani's family is always glad to see him regardless of his state of being.  When Shivani asked him if he wanted to say "Merry Christmas" to me, he said," No!" His innocent honesty is the best.  Having no awareness that the words can be hurtful makes them harmless, even funny, even fun. 

    At shortly before 5 pm, I was just about ready to get dressed to go to Judy's when it dawned on me that I would have to take care of Elsa before I left. I leashed her and went for a quick walk. I prepared her dinner and got dressed and drove up to Judy's.  She was calling me just as I was walking up the stairs to the house.  I was late. 

    Judy and Paulette had made special or d' oeuvres for me because they served shrimp for everyone else and knew I was allergic.  Christmas music played thanks to YouTube. All was good until I'll Have a Blue Christmas without You came on.  I don't know where the tears came from.  I asked Judy to change the song- immediately. She did. 

    The food was good, good and good. A perfectly prepared prime rib roast thanks to Paula Dean's recipe, asparagus, baked potatoes, and a Caesar salad. I believe the salad was thanks to Costco.  It looked familiar.  But don't all Caesar salads look alike? 

    The desserts, the desserts.  They prepared a cheesecake covered with chocolate and raspberries, and – a $40,000 cookie cake.  I think that's what they called. It. Why $40,000? It was the prize for the creator of the cake. I think it was very good.  I wouldn't pay $40,000, but I think the creator deserved it. 

    One of the guests, Amanda, had to leave around 8 pm. She has a job working through the night, stuffing newspapers with flyers.  At 3 am. She lets in the delivery people who pick up the newspapers they have to drop off for the day.  The era of the kid on his bike delivering newspapers is over.

    I left shortly after Amanda did.  I continued watching the English murder mystery I found and finished making my online charitable contributions for the year.  Elsa and I did our before bedtime walk, and that was it for the night.temperature and not feeling his best. Shivani's family is always glad to see him regardless of his state of being.  When Shivani asked him if he wanted to say "Merry Christmas" to me, he said," No!" His innocent honesty is the best.  Having no awareness that the words can be hurtful makes them harmless, even funny, even fun. 

    At shortly before 5 pm, I was just about ready to get dressed to go to Judy's when it dawned on me that I would have to take care of Elsa before I left. I leashed her and went for a quick walk. I prepared her dinner and got dressed and drove up to Judy's.  She was calling me just as I was walking up the stairs to the house.  I was late. 

    Judy and Paulette had made special or d' oeuvres for me because they served shrimp for everyone else and knew I was allergic.  Christmas music played thanks to YouTube. All was good until I'll Have a Blue Christmas without You came on.  I don't know where the tears came from.  I asked Judy to change the song- immediately. She did. 

    The food was good, good and good. A perfectly prepared prime rib roast thanks to Paula Dean's recipe, asparagus, baked potatoes, and a Caesar salad. I believe the salad was thanks to Costco.  It looked familiar.  But don't all Caesar salads look alike? 

    The desserts, the desserts.  They prepared a cheesecake covered with chocolate and raspberries, and – a $40,000 cookie cake.  I think that's what they called. It. Why $40,000? It was the prize for the creator of the cake. I think it was very good.  I wouldn't pay $40,000, but I think the creator deserved it. 

    One of the guests, Amanda, had to leave around 8 pm. She has a job working through the night, stuffing newspapers with flyers.  At 3 am. She lets in the delivery people who pick up the newspapers they have to drop off for the day.  The era of the kid on his bike delivering newspapers is over.

    I left shortly after Amanda did.  I continued watching the English murder mystery I found and finished making my online charitable contributions for the year.  Elsa and I did our before bedtime walk, and that was it for the night.