Saturday, February 20, 2021

 Saturday, February 20, 2021

 

            I had yoga in the morning. Then, I had S at 10:30. In our last session, her mom told me that her teacher was pushing S to do more  'scooping,' which means using connected speech, so a phrase is produced as if it's a single word. I had noticed she didn't do it but didn't feel called to address it. She used the correct pitch and loudness as she read the sentence. I started working on it last week. This week I asked her if I could model it for her. S. is very nervous when she doesn't know something. I told her she could participate when she wanted to. "You're a bright girl. You'll figure it out on your own." That is true. She quickly pitched in and then asked to do it independently without my model. Sometimes she got it, and sometimes she didn't. Then the light bulb went off. I asked her if her parents spoke Arabic.

            Her parents are from Algeria. Boy, did I hit a nerve! In seconds, her mom was on the Zoom to tell me they are not Arabs; they are descended from the Berbers. I apologized, explaining to her I was just asking about a foreign language spoken at home. Mom, a French teacher at the University of Hawaii, understood my question. Yes, Berber is spoken with a very percussive rhythm. While S uses English intonation patterns perfectly in conversation, when she makes an effort, as when reading aloud, she falls back on the earliest intonation pattern she learned, the one she learned in utero. I told mom to let her teacher know what the problem was. This variation of intonation is not interfering with her comprehension.

            At 11, I had A. Mom was busy today and couldn't observe. We reread the Carpenter pieces we have been working with from Book A, #1-4. He is both showing improvement and making some new mistakes. As he relaxes, he is misreading some words, substituting Tommy for Taddy, the name in the story. At least his error showed that he understood he was reading a name. I still haven't figured out if A's problems are all audio processing problems or other cognitive problems. I suspect it's the former. His problem is so bad I asked his mom if he had ear infections. He had bad cases; they put tubes in his ears. Yeah, it's probably all sorts of sensory problems he has to correct or learn to deal with. I must say he has made rapid progress with the method and the materials I have given him, and his mom says she sees a difference in his reading of other material.  

            After I was through with A, I went over to my neighbors to pick greens with Darby. Our old neighbors, the one with the commercial farm providing greens for the local restaurants that collapsed with the Covid, had covered a lot of the yard with grass, but in this one section, they planted eatable greens. I think it was probably cheaper and easier. The house was transferred to the new owners on the 11th, but they hadn't moved in. The greens were huge, and it seemed like a terrible waste not to pick them and put them to good use. The other day, I saw the husband pull up in his truck and asked his permission to pick them. He gave me the go-ahead. 

            When Darby arrived to join me in picking greens, she noticed the owners were standing in the yard. We went over and confirmed it would be okay to pick the produce. . I met the wife, a lovely lady. They have moved here from Canada, Vancouver (too cold), having started in China. Besides confirming their permission, I warned them about the haole koa trees taking over the island. They are almost impossible to kill. The farmer next door said he tried every kind of herbicide, and everything else on his lot was organic. He finally pulled the trees out by putting a chain around them and attaching the other end to a truck. May, the wife, thanked me and put her adolescent son, David, to work. While Darby and I were picking the greens for dinner, she told me that the plants I identified weren't haole koa but some other annoying weed.

            I had a 1 pm appointment with the acupuncturist. I showered and headed out just in time. When Jennifer asked me what I wanted to work on, I told her about the side pains I'd been having that I now realized were due to the fall I took down a long, long flight I took down most of a 20' long flight of stairs. Jennifer doesn't just stick needles in; she does investigative and healing massage. She said it is this that distinguishes her from other acupuncturists. She was trained in a wide range of Chinese medical practices. I had an appointment with her once before when we first moved here. I thought my session with her was a waste of time. Now, I think she God's gift. She's insightful, works with me, not on me, and has already been helpful. 

            I was going to go to Costco after that session. It was literally right up the road. Instead, I went home for a much-needed nap.  

            Then at 5 pm I had I. I asked her what wanted she wanted to work on. She said, "Sounds." She knows she has problems with it. She has said that the work we're doing has already helped. Instead of just Phase I, I introduced Phase II, working on reading unfamiliar words. We worked for 45 minutes instead of half an hour. It's great that she is up for that much work, but I will have to arrange it with her mom to extend the sessions. In our work on Phase II today, it became clear her knowledge of the vowel letters wasn't secure. She asked if n was a vowel. I called her mom and gave her an exercise to help her learn them.

            I watched The Paul Taylor concert from the Annenberg Center in Philly a few more times, well I watched the second piece, Cloven Kingdom, the contemporary work. The more I watched it, the more I liked it.

            I started watching the Whole Wide World, which Jean, my hanai sister, recommended. I realized I had seen it before and enjoyed it again. It warranted another viewing.

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Musings: 

            There is a difference between loving tolerance and resignation for ourselves and others. While there certainly is a place for both responses, I think they're overused. I see people in physical pain saying, "Oh, well. I'm old." Or "Oh, well. My mom had the same problem." These folks won't even explore the possibility of changing. 

            We all have moments like this. I remember Mike's more than mine. He had a lousy posture; slumping in a chair was his preferred position in life. I tried to get him to change. He'd make an effort and say, "Wow! this is so comfortable- not." Change requires a tolerance for discomfort and some degree of risk. There's the devil we know and the one we don't know.

            Some live believing you should never expect people to change. I disagree with that. Besides my comfort, I think it is our job to help others become better people, their better selves.

            It is also true that changing a stable if dysfunctional system poses a threat. Will I be able to make it through the transition? Will I be comfortable with the outcome? If the outcome has a chance of being healthier for all involved, it's worth it.

            I know Mike and I went through a change like that. It caused the worst period of our marriage. I sent Mike off to Washington DC to get his second Ph.D. He spent four days a week during the school semester for six years living in a dorm. I think he learned he didn't need me as much as he thought. He became more self-reliant. While all that sounded good, I believe it created a distance between us that became painful for both of us. We stuck it out because we both thought that the other was a good person, and neither of us had any place else we wanted to go. When the smoke cleared, we entered the best phase of our marriage, the most joyful and loving. 

            Life is full of risk. If you don't change and don't encourage the people around you to change, you risk an empty life. If you do, you risk the loss of the little you do have. Life is full of risk. It's always a choice.