Tuesday, November 23, 2021

 Tuesday, November 23, 2021

 

    I slept till 5:15. I got up in the middle of the night to pee but fell right back to sleep the moment my head hits the pillow.  I am one good sleeper.  I was in a deep sleep until 5:15. I should have gotten up and started my morning walk. That would have been a good idea. My walking time was limited this morning because I had driveway yoga at 7am. I assured myself that I had plenty of time today to get my steps in; I could stay in bed a little longer. 

     It was close to six when Elsa and I got out the door.  Yvette was out walking her dogs too. Elsa didn’t want to walk with me. She pulled back to be with the others. Well, maybe not. She wanted to be pet by Yvette. She had less interest in the dogs. 

        I made a change in my walk as of last night. I have been aware that my left glutes were too tight; I then became aware that my right glutes are underused. This imbalance creates or supports my spinal curvature.  This confirms my belief that my alignment problems started before puberty. I remember my lopsided walk. As I walked, I emphasized contracting the right glutes, which changed my stride.  We’ll see.

   Judy and Paulette had loaded my car with their collected cardboard.  I drop off theirs and mine at the transfer station for recycling. A few months ago,  I discovered the Glicksteins didn’t recycle when I saw their garbage can loaded with cardboard as I walked the street in the morning. Now, they collect it, place it in the back of my car and I take it to the transfer station.  I had to get rid of the stuff today because I had two airport pickups.  Brian was coming in from California, and Darby and Patrick were returning from Oahu.  Brian was supposed to come in at 12:50 pm. Then it changed to 3 Pm. And then it was delayed again. He arrived at 10:58 pm.   I wanted to make sure I had a bed ready for him.  His place had been closed for over six months. He would be exhausted when he arrived after traveling since early this morning Pacific Coast and spending most of his time waiting in the airport before the five-hour flight to Hawaii.  If he slept in my guest room for the night, he would have the energy to open his place in the morning. 

   An NPR host interviewed Ann Patchet this morning. The interviewer listed her as her favorite author. I have to second that. She’s mine too. I haven’t read all her books but loved each one I did read.  Bel Canto was my first. It was recommended to me by my friend Carol Zimmerman.  Ah, I remember it well. On the talk show, Patchet talked about a friendship she had with an employee of Tom Hanks. She found the woman endless interesting, but she also said something else. She said this woman saw her “at her best and complete self.”  

     While most of us are a mixture of positive and negative, we want to be around people who see more positive in us than negative. I felt Mike was that way. I have one relative who describes me with terms appropriate for Ted Bundy – minus the murders. She has never accused me of being a serial killer.  My guess is the rule for this aspect of relationships follows the Magic Ratio. The rule is that there have to be five positive interactions for every negative one for a relationship to survive. Of course, they have to be somewhat of the same nature. It can’t be one infidelity compensated with five flowers.  Anyone can be viewed as purely negatively by others. I don’t know if anyone can be view as only positively by others. I suppose so. As with all interactions, we want to be around someone who sees us as having more positive characteristics than negative.  Mike and I both had complaints about each other, but we loved more about each other than we disliked.  I was proud of Mike, and I believe he was proud of me.  I know we both thought of each other as decent human beings, good people.

   I texted Isaac to tell him I was out for my walk if he wanted to join and headed out. As I came around the corner and walked up the hill toward his house, I saw him at the curb. I saw him answer his phone. Isaac comes from a close family; he has long, regular conversations with parents, siblings, grandparents, and cousins. It’s wonderful. I knew the phone call was a priority and didn’t expect him to join me until he was through.  Elsa and I continued on our walk.   Isaac trailed after us at a distance while he continued his call.  He ended his call just as I was about to go inside. He had been talking with his dad.    Lutz came by at that moment.

    I had to make sure Elsa was fed before I got a call from Darby announcing they were ready for pick up at the airport. It all went smoothly. After I dropped them off, I came across Lutz and Isaac standing at the intersection where they would have to part. They must have been talking for close to an hour. I stopped to say hello, made some stupid comment just to participate.  Later as I sat down for dinner, I thought of that scene and smiled. It was a different smile than the one I’ve felt lately.  I used different muscles.  I haven’t had that smile since Mike died. I realized why. Seeing those two boys, Isaac, 21, and Lutz, 58, standing there talking because they enjoyed each other’s company made me think of Mike.

       Mike was childlike; I saw their enjoyment of each other’s company, an irrepressible childlike enthusiasm.  I loved it.  I like the childlike quality in Lutz; unfortunately, it’s heavily laden with ‘look how smart I am.” Too bad. Both Lutz and Isaac are filled with curiosity. If you bring up a topic, their minds will explore it. They’ll come up with new ways of thinking about it I haven’t considered.  These two have become my evening walking companions.  Isaac and I will text each other to say we’re out walking. So far, we just run into Lutz, who makes several trips around the block each night.