I have been getting up by 6:30 am. I did a third alternative route on my walk. It was a little over 5,000 steps. I took my phone with me because I was experiencing pinching in my hip joint area.
When I got home, the gate was closed, blocking the driveway and entrance to the house. I yelled for Yvette in a small panic. I would not be able to slide that gate open by myself. One of the students came and opened it. With the gate closed, Yvette was able to have Izzy in the upper driveway area during her yoga class in the driveway. When she is confined below, she howls non-stop.
As we walked to the side door, Elsa had to make sure she was pet by all the students. It might be a way to get her infected and to make her a carrier. I just didn't have the energy to fight the situation.
I did a little more work on my book, posted the blog for the day, and did some more editing of the latest update. Then Sandor called. We spoke for quite some time exchanging stories.
His family immigrated from Cuba. He said he is predisposed to distrust the government. I told him how I always felt that the government was run by a bunch of elementary school boys playing king of the hill. I never had much faith in government. I think I just hold my nose and hope for the best. I'm not surprised when it's the worst.
He told about one branch of his family that is wonderfully eccentric. He said he warned his wife-to-be when he brought her to meet that branch of the family. She walked into the house, ran into a priest, two naked cousins running to their rooms, and one cousin sobbing because her husband had just been arrested by the FBI. He said the Cubans have a very strange relationship with the FBI and many get arrested. I assumed it was biased policing, but we didn't discuss it at length.
We also spoke about the effect of 9/11 on him. He said he was raised with the belief the US was safe. With this attack, he lost that faith. I have heard that before. I have two problems with this reaction. One, I have never believed that the USA is guaranteed protection from external forces. We've just been lucky to not have had a war fought on our soil since the Civil War. My parents went through WWI in Germany, and my maternal grandparents, who were Christian, were in Berlin at that time. Here in NYC, there were reports of Germans being attacked on the street, including children, after the US entered the war. My family must also have worried about the possibility that the Germans might win the war and what that would mean for them. I understood that safety wasn't guaranteed.
The second thing I don't understand is why the Oklahoma bombing didn't create this sense of ill-ease. That was a political attack. Just because it was a white, Christian American who did it doesn't mean that there was less damage than if it had been done by a foreign agent. I guess it goes back to understanding the threats can come from inside the country just as easily as they come from outside. That certainly was the lesson the Jewish members of my family learned in Germany. They had to flee to America for the lives. Those who didn't died in the concentration camps.
I got some gardening done. Gardening for me always involves cutting something back or killing something. I have the blackest thumb I know of. Growing things doesn't work for me. I spent some time cutting back the bougainvillea that was consuming the bedroom yard area.
I finally got the front storm door cleaned. I don't use that door often. I come in through the side door usually. When I have come in that way, I have been struck by how dirty it is. Then I forget until the next time I see it. Also, in the past, it has taken a lot of time to clean. This time, I just turned the garden hose on jet and sprayed the door from the outside. The dirt slid off. Wow! Then I soaped down the screen and the glass panels through it and rinsed it down again. Next, I propped the door open, soaped down the inside and rinsed it down. I let the water runoff, and then wiped down the glass panels that were accessible from the inside. I slid down the top glass panel of the door and wiped down the screen I could reach. I went outside and wiped down the screen from that direction. There is some spotting, but the door looks so much better.
As I listened to Terry Gross, I finally tackled making tuna fish salad. I have been planning to do this for days but feeling inadequate for the task. It finally occurred to me that I could look up a recipe on the Internet. Okay, so the recipe called for more mayonnaise than I like. Next time, I will know to modify it. I also learned that if I didn't put in too much mayo, I could freeze the leftover tuna salad. I think I'm getting the hang of this cooking thing. All thanks to the inspiration of my nephew David who just throws things together and sees what works.
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Musings:
I heard an advertisement for a radio segment on the mental state associated with a lack of human contact and conversation. I don't remember the name for it, but I remember the guest speaker saying that monks are familiar with this state of mind. I hope there is more information about this.
I would imagine I know something about this mental state because I participated in a dozen silent 10-day retreats in my fifties. Of course, while doing them, I didn't do anything else. We weren't allowed to read or write no less hold conversations, or even make eye contact. The mental state which followed from eliminating all that from our daily lives and meditating eleven hours a day seemed logical. It was weird coming out of that state. They gave us over 24 hours in which we were allowed to talk to people, read, and write so we could return to normal before we left the meditation site.
I remember during one retreat someone came on the property from the town to deliver something. He approached me and asked me for directions. Boy, that felt strange. Again, I hope they talk about this state of mind more.
PS. I learned what they were talking about on the radio. It’s called acedia. Wiki says it's a state of listlessness. Damn, it's depression. No, I don't feel depressed now, and I didn't feel depressed during those extended meditation retreats.
My guess I had objectives during the retreats as I do now, which protects me from depression. I don't feel helpless. I'm not floating, disoriented. I find it all quite relaxing.
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