I was up by 4:30 but dozed till 6:30. My leg is still being challenged. I see it as using muscles that have not been called to action. Among other muscles, my psoas is being stretched. Several bodyworkers have told me to stretch it by lying on my bed and hanging my left leg over the edge. This procedure never felt right to me. Now, I know why. The method the bodyworkers recommended was passive. It was supposed to allow the muscle to relax. But that wasn’t the right approach for my body. I am getting a change now because my emphasis is on strengthening my glute and leg muscles. If I had followed their advice, I would have weakened the only muscles I used to walk. Now that I’m strengthening other muscles, which should have been used in the first place, my psoas is sighed in relief that it doesn’t have to do all the work and relaxed.
Judy promised to bring over the electric razor she uses to groom her dogs today. I got Elsa in the sink and washed her. This is not her favorite activity; it never was. She pressed the top of her head against the side of the sink, hoping I won’t be able to wash her face and get water and soap in her mouth and nose. It occurs to me that maybe I’m doing wrong. I bet I can find instructions for a way to do it on the Internet.
After Elsa and I did our tango, I needed a nap. I have no idea why I’m so tired. Is it possible that the nap schedule used in preschool is the right one for all of us at all ages? I’m thinking my tiredness is a result of age, but maybe not. Will I be able to go back to my previous schedule once this shutdown is over? Judy notices the same thing. For her, this is also a vast improvement. She suffers from insomnia. Now, she sleeps like a baby. She also doesn’t’ know how she will be able to go back to her previous schedule. She and Paulette, her sister, were always on the run doing something for the church. Now, Judy says if she gets four things done at home, she considers it good. For that matter, how is anyone going to be able to get back to the busy, busy schedule of the modern world with its 24/7 scheduling?
I have read that primitive people work about four hours a day. The rest is some form of leisure. Maybe that’s why they die younger. Wouldn’t that be an irony? I know that no stress can be as deadly as too much.
I was roused from my nap upon hearing the dogs next dog barking madly, one dog yelping, and someone yelling at the dogs. These are the same dogs who tried to kill Elsa when she got on their property. I was afraid that I had left the side door slightly ajar, and she had gotten out. I called her, but she doesn’t come when called unless there is a benefit, like a treat, a meal, or a walk. Thank God she is a small dog and goes limp when I grab her. If she were bigger, I’d be in trouble. The thought of losing her . . . . Need I say more? However, I was just too tired to get up and check. There was nothing I could do about it. If she was injured, I was sure that the person screaming at the barking dogs would take her to the vet. While I felt she was okay, it was still upsetting. When I started to get up off the sofa, I looked to the side, where she usually sits while I nap, but I didn’t see her. That caught my breath for a moment. As I stood up further, I caught sight of her. Ah!! It would be nice if she came when I called. It would also be nice if she learned to bark when she has to go out and bark when she has to come back in. Okay, so she’s not perfect.
When I think of Mike, I often think of ways he was not perfect, how he left the refrigerator door open, forgot to switch off the oven, tripped over things in his path. Most of his flaws just made me smile. He was my funny Valentine. One of the delights of this man was his ability to express joy with childlike abandon. I don’t know if I saw that in him in the beginning. My mom had that ability, but with Mike, he could also express his love for me that way. Expressing love wasn’t my mom’s thing.
Each day I hear more information about the adverse effects of being on a respirator. Before this month, my only association with intubation was in surgical settings. It was a security measure during surgery; that’s it. I had no idea what its significance was when someone needed it because their own breathing mechanisms were failing. I think some of the medical staff thought all the members of my family and I did know the significance of Mike’s condition. Looking back, I can remember moments when people spoke to me, believing they were telling me that his life was in immediate danger, but I didn’t get it. That’s not what intubation meant to me. I didn’t have the background knowledge I needed to understand it. I don’t know that I would have wanted to know how close to death he was and how unlikely his survival was.
On the other hand, I might have related to him differently if I had understood. Most of the time, I believed this was a temporary state. I was preparing for our time after he came home. Might I have spent more time holding his hand instead of writing the updates? Yes, I’m rethinking everything. Not a happy place.
Judy dropped off her electric grooming razor with two blades. My extension cord wasn’t long enough to reach the table in the yard off my bedroom. I tried to move the table closer. I got the round top off the base, successfully moved the base closer to the house, successfully rolled the tabletop over to the base, but that’s where success ended. I couldn’t lift the top back onto the base. I texted Yvette, asking for help.
I decided to work on Elsa immediately doing what I could, holding her in my arms while sitting on the chaise lounge. Elsa loves being carried over my shoulder. That’s where she was while I ran that razor over her body. Then I shifted her to the other shoulder and took care of the other side of her body. Reaching her neck and head required an adjustment in my grip. I got everything done except her front legs and paws. I don’t think I can get a job as a groomer, but she was clean and close. I don’t have to worry about dreads. I planned to finish her front legs and paws the next day. I was pretty proud of both of us.
B. called to say he was making a trip to town. Did I want anything? Yes. A small jar of mayo and some celery. This system works for me. I don’t have to make large orders. I just have half a dozen people check with me as they head into town. This allows me to place small orders whenever my heart desires. Am I lucky, or am I lucky?
When Elsa and I were coming back from our before-dinner walk, I noticed a car with its light on sitting on the verge. That raised my curiosity. As we went down the hill, the car had started moving, but very slowly. There was a car behind it. I figured the first car was pulling the second one. Then I saw another vehicle behind that and another one. Balloons were flying from some of the windows. They started honking their horns. I saw more and more cars. It was like a funeral procession, but in this case, one car had a Happy Birthday banner plastered on its hood. It was a birthday party during the Covid virus shut down.
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