I hadn’t set the alarm clock since on Saturdays, the Bikram class starts at 8:30 am instead of 7:30 am as it does Monday through Friday. I woke up at 5:30, went to the bathroom, went back to bed, and work up at 8 am. I could have made it to the class if I hadn’t had to walk the dog, do my oil rinse, wash my dishes, and drink my two cups of water in the 15 minutes before I would have to leave. I decided to pass and just stay at home.
When I got up, I was still too tired to walk the dog. This is a low point, but I don’t know what is causing it. It could be physical tiredness or grief. Either can cause exhaustion. Yesterday, Sandor and I set up the blog site, and I started reading the entries from January when the sickness that eventually killed Mike started. There was so much hope in the beginning.
I had woken up in the middle of the night and thought, “What name did we give the blog?” It was supposed to be “With Mike; without Mike.” I thought I remembered telling Sandor the name as, “Before Mike; After Mike.” If we had named it the latter, that would never work. Before Mike was 45 years ago.
I let Elsa out the back door so she could do her business. Then I drank a quick swallow of water, did my oil rinse, washed the dishes, and made my Juice Plus smoothie for the next two days. I started the boiled water weeding processes. I did two kettles right away. I had one of my readers ask how do I use the boiling water with the weeds. I boil a kettle of water, take it outside, and pour it on the weeds, killing them. Works like a charm and is not toxic.
I worked on the blog and got out last Sunday’s blog. I set out cleaning my kitchen floor. Because I had found some spots on my white tile with ground-in dirt, I made a paste of baking Soda and vinegar and applied it. That mix cleans everything. I read about using it for cleaning stovetops. It does a remarkable job. I had to clean up the paste I put down the night before. I scraped up a lot of it, dumped water on the spots, and vacuumed it up with my Rainbow vacuum cleaner. The spots did look better. This paste works! I originally learned about it as a recommendation for cleaning stovetops. When we were living in Ohio, I also had white tile floors. I never found a successful solution then.
When Sandor was here yesterday, and he saw my vacuum, he said, “Oh, a Rainbow vacuum cleaner. They’re the best.” I had hoped that I might get the same action out of any wet/dry vacuum if/when my Rainbow gives out. Guess not. There is no way I would wash a floor anymore without vacuuming up the water. If you let it sit there, you wind up with muddy water well distributed all over your floor. If I use my Rainbow, I apply water and vacuum it up and repeat until the water in the vacuum’s collection tank comes out clean. My grout stays white that way.
I had plans to go to the ballet that night with Yvette and Sariah. I decided to nap so I could stay awake. Judy called while I was napping. She said that she was feeling better than yesterday. She was so lousy yesterday that she didn’t answer my phone call. It does seem that her negative reactions get stronger with each chemotherapy treatment. I went back to sleep. I had set the alarm for 3pm so I could get up and walk Elsa, clear the car so someone could sit in the back, take my shower and get dressed.
As I lay on the sofa napping, I knew Elsa was nearby, most likely lying down on the floor next to me since she wasn’t on my belly. I think I must have a map in my mind noting where the furniture is and all the living things in the house, which is only Elsa now. I must still have Mike in my map. He may not be in the same room I am at any particular moment, but he could be in another place, sleeping in the bedroom or working in his library. I am comparing loved ones to comfortable furniture; they are comfortable furniture but with benefits. Elsa offers some, but Mike offered many, many, many more.
When I take a shower in our universal access shower, Elsa sits and looks up at me. She wants me to throw a ball that she has dropped at the edge of the shower or actually rolled into it. Mike would sometimes come into the bathroom as I showered. He looked at me, too. There was so much love and delight in his eyes. Elsa isn’t a very good replacement.
Sariah, who was going to the ballet with Yvette and me, came up at 3. She walked Elsa while I cleaned out the car so she could sit in the back. I finally took some junk out of it that had been in there for at least a year. I counted the magazines I had in the back of the car to give to Memory Lane, the charity store for our local hospice. I keep a record of my donations for tax purposes.
I bought seats at the back of the auditorium for the ballet. Initially, I did it because the seats at the very back allow you to stand up and see over people’s heads. For this performance, I bought seats a couple of rows from the back. I thought Sariah might do better with an aisle seat. One tall man was sitting a few seats ahead of us. Before the performance started, he had several bouquets of flowers wrapped in plastic he was holding over his head. Really? Fortunately, he distributed them to various people sitting with him. It was fun to see how many families had bought bouquets for their children of all ages who were in the performance.
The West Hawaii Dance Company does an incredible job. True, it’s more dance theatre than ballet in the tradition of American Ballet Theater in NYC, but I actually prefer this. The pyrotechnics are limited, but some of the performances are delightful, and the choreography is impressive. Since it is a local dance studio for children of all ages and adults, you have a wide range of skills. The three-year-olds steal the show. I dare any professional dancer to go up against a gaggle of them. One year, I persuaded Damon and Mike to see one of their performances.. Mike had no tolerance for amateur work, and Damon is a professional in the movie industry. They were both surprised by how good the work was. Besides the three-year-olds, some adolescents have been trained at this studio who have already been accepted for summer sessions with major dance companies.
In this performance of Coppelia, there was one piece where they combined students who danced on point, those of the same age who hadn’t achieved that skill yet, and younger children who could follow choreography, unlike the three-year-olds and made it work.
Several parents knew that I ran into whose children were in the performance, a three-year-old, a five-year-old, an 11-year-old, a 13-year-old and a 15year old, who will pursue a professional career. I love the way the 15-year-old dances. I can pick her out of a group every time. She doesn’t have many solos yet because those are given to the older children, especially the high school seniors.
After the performance, we went over to the food court in Waimea. I had a craving for a hamburger, and there is a highly rated shop there. Sariah said she didn’t like burgers, so we checked out the other options before I ordered our hamburgers. Yvette and Sariah found a Thai take out place. The food looked good to me, so I ordered it there. I thought it was delicious. Sariah said it was too salty for her. I guess it was a bit salty, but I do love my salt. As Yvette drove us home, I felt truly content.
When I got home, I watched No Offense and cataloged over 20 books. I walked Elsa again, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and went to bed. Good night, Elsa, Goodnight, Mike.
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