We waited halfway down the hill for Eddie to drive by. He was going to leave his car on Damon's street. Eddie was heading out of town for a week and couldn't leave his car parked on his street without moving it regularly.
Damon and I continued down the hill to Starbucks. It was a place called Starbucks Reserve, some monster version of the usual Starbucks. He got a coffee for himself and a chocolate chip cookie for me. Then we headed back home.
He made himself and me breakfast: scrambled egg with mozzarella and avocado on a wrap—another goodie. Cylin joined us, and he made one for her too. She revealed that they both had bad feelings about the man-made crystals. They hurt Cylin's forearms. They looked them up when they came home. One thousand dollars each. Wow! More valuable than diamonds. At least people won't have to kill themselves to dig them up.
At 11, Damon and Cylin and headed out for their exercise class. I sat and worked on the blog until my computer battery died. I stood up and -wow!- my back, my back. It hurt almost as much as it did the first night it happened.
I lay on the sofa and read the NY Times Book Review Section. Finally, August got up, and I asked for help. He got me a roller from the corner of the living room and the tennis ball from my bed. He didn't know where the Advil was. I had to wait until Damon and Cylin got home.
The moment they walked in, I said, "Advil," right after I said, "Hi." Damon told August where to find it. I took three. I continued rolling around on the tennis ball while August ate his breakfast and watched a news show about the impeachment, not a hard topic to find on the TV these days.
Damon and Cylin went down to sit in the hot tub. I walked down the steps to that area but stayed flat on one of the poolside sofas. Getting into a bathing suit was too much for this back. We chatted away.
Damon and August went off to play tennis; Cylin went up to take a shower and do her own thing. I watched more Fosse/Verdon and rolled around on the floor, dealing with my back.
When they came home, Damon put the finishing touches on his chicken soup with noodles. The soup hit the spot, and I had a serious yen for the noodles.
August went upstairs to do some homework. He was called down to play a few rounds of Rummikub. This was quite a game. I took to toning in objection. For those who don't know, my lungs rival Donna Summer's; I can hold a note for quite a while.
I have noticed that my behavior feels different without Mike around. I was able to do what I wanted when we were alone together. He even thought I was funny and challenging- in a good way. But, he didn't like me to be too 'raucous,' outspoken, or confrontational when we were with others. I don't know if Damon and /or Cylin notice the difference, but I do. Very interesting. I don't think I ever realized how I toned myself down. I don't look back and feel sad about it. I learned some self-control and discernment through Mike's eyes. He was a sensitive person; he just had a different set of criteria than I did. It's all good. But now that he's gone, I need other people to play with, therefore, the behavioral changes.
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Musings;
Brooks says in Bobos Paradise than the current intellectual elite thinks about morals but only in a practical way: things should be good for them or the earth. I don't hear him talk about what good for other people. It's all about personal growth, which seems only to be measured by impact on self and not others. It's moral but only in terms of it being healthy for self and the environment. He is saying there is no relevance for God in this picture.
What is the role of God in our lives? Do we worship God for his sake or ours? If the moral question is," What have you done for God today?" in the sense of satisfying His need to be worshipped, that doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
I'm open to there being a God; I'm also open to there not being a God. If God needs our constant attention and praise, I don't get the point. How would we become better people by just praising God?
I think it's reasonable to say that man needs to feel someone is in control, so it's either him or God. Since man's being in control of everything is a losing proposition, better by far to assign the job to some unknown force. Humanity goes whacky when we believe we have unlimited power. Absolute power corrupts absolutely; better to entrust that power to some abstract unknown and hope and pray that it is a force for good. No, assume that it is a force for good, and everything has its season.
So once we get humanity to stop believing it can be in the driver's seat, we're off to a good start. Mind, this does not mean that God doesn't do great harm. It just means we're not the ones doing it to ourselves or others. When we do it to ourselves or others, it hurts so much more. Give us a good hurricane rather than an excellent holocaust.
Since I have many Bobo traits, I combine religion and practicality; I believe we are much better off, individually and collectively, if there is a belief in God or something that evokes moral behavior.
There is another benefit to believing in God. It reminds us that we have to think of others as well as ourselves. It's morality. Now there are many interpretations of morality. People kill their kiss and kin in the name of morality. If someone is so immoral as to bring dishonor to the family, they must be killed. Makes sense to me. Actually, no, it doesn't. I assume there is some historic survival benefit to honor and dishonor; I don't know what it is. The question is, do we still have to follow that definition of morality? Is it ancient value still beneficial to us individually and collectively?
I think the big difference between Bobo's morality and religious morality is that it doesn't ask what is best for us collectively and individually. Also, that question has to be asked locally as well as globally. Global issues are easy. Too big to affect me! Local issues involve our parents, our siblings, our spouses, our children, our grandchildren, our friends, etc. They are day to day interactions where we have to decide what to sacrifice.
Ah, that word sacrifice. There's sacrifice writ large, and there's sacrifice writ small. With every decision we make, we sacrifice something. We can't have it all. According to my sister, only two-year-olds expect two contradictory things to exist at the same time, like being in place A and place B simultaneously. Having to choose between place A and place B when we want both involves sacrifice. Something has to give.
Do we need to believe in God to understand the needs of others as well as ourselves? My Bobo response is: it is better for us as individuals to consider the needs of others as well as ourselves. When we do, we like ourselves more. We are happier when others are happier and at peace. When all beings are happy, healthy, and loved, we're happier.
Yes, some people are so embroiled with envy that the happiness of others ruins their lives. They are a mess. There's nothing good about that for themselves as individuals or the collective.
Does that mean that I don't think envy has a positive function? Heavens no. Envy reminds us of something we want or need that is worthwhile pursuing if it's in range. Let's check out the serenity prayer.
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