I spent most of the day sleeping once I finished my morning walk and driveway yoga. I have no idea why I felt so drained. I was a little concerned that I had Covid. (Reminds me of when I was young and fertile and had pregnancy scares.)
A lady from Spectrum arrived to install a new modem on my lanai to hardwire my computer to ensure a stable internet connection. She told me not to do that but to order a mesh network instead. This is the latest technology. I got on Amazon to see how much it costs - only $249 for the set I ordered. Given that I saved at least 50 dollars not having the new modem installed and would get money back when I returned the ethernet cord to Office Max, the mesh will cost me more like $175.
I couldn't go anywhere or do anything anticipating a Sears repairman the afternoon. As I lay snoozing on the couch, he tore apart my cooktop. He couldn't fix it either. He did manage to make a change. Instead of the ignition on the three back burners clicking continuously when any one of them was turned on, it was now the two on the left in the back and the middle in the front. If nothing else, that change provided some information as to the problem. He ordered more replacement parts and made a new appointment.
Later that evening, there was another package from Sears. It looked like a new burner, but it might have been part of a kitchen faucet for all I could tell. I don't think it would have solved the problem. It seems clear there's nothing wrong with the burner, just the ignition system.
The repairmen asked me if it was always that way. I told him I didn't think so, but I couldn't be sure. Mike had been the cook, the only one who used the stovetop. I assume he would have mentioned a mechanical problem to me; house repairs were my department. I remember seeing this problem first when the young woman who lived here for six months pointed it out to me. The continuous clicking wasn't a problem except when a large meal was prepared for many people.
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Musings:
Hidden Brain had a program entitled "Secret Friends: Tapping into the Power of Imagination." It started with a woman who had problems reading, hearing Cher's voice in her head telling her that she was okay and to march on. The program interviewed a pastor who had regular dialogues with Jesus and conducted spiritual direction sessions with people as they consulted with Jesus.
I act/live as if God exists but have absolutely no need to know objectively if this is true or not. I don't think it can be proved or disproved definitively, and I find the question irrelevant.
I also argue that if there is a God, he/she is so generous to offer all these different ways of worshipping. I don't believe there is only one true version of God. The only universal principle I see in all religions is an ethical framework. In certain regards, all religions teach the same moral rules of social behavior. Differences exist in the definition of God and how to worship. Unfortunately, many religions include information relating to people who do not worship "the correct way." It does not include kindness.
The Hidden Brain program made me think about versions of how to relate to God. Visions of God differ from completely internal, God within, to completely external. The consistency between religions is they all teach ethical behavior; God is always an advocate of ethical conduct. I should put that in quotes because most religions are comfortable persecuting people who are not of their faith. We can find something in religious texts that says that explicitly. Although most of it says, God will take care of those who believe, God will also punish those who do not believe. If only people could leave it at that. I don't know if there is a religion that does not have blood on its hands "in the name of God."
Back to my original thoughts on the nature of God. How much is God' in us," part of us, versus how much is God an external force controlling our lives?
Buddhism says that God is within us and not a controlling force in our lives. I am not familiar enough with religious teaching to know if any religion holds that God is just an external force controlling our lives, ensuring that things go our way if we're good and not when we're bad. I suspect that was the original view of God as people struggle to survive in the face of nature's arbitrary impact on their lives.
I don't know at what point God became a source of psychological comfort. I know that is true in Christianity. I know that the Protestants enlarged the concept of one's ability to directly communicate with God without an intermediary in the form of a priest. I believe Catholicism has incorporated this idea.
Again, getting back to who God is in our lives. The question is how much of our direct communication is from God and how much is our imagination. I come back to the position that there is no definitive proof of God. That means that we can never be sure if we communicate with God or just our own imagination. The difference, as I see it, comes down to the ethical framework.
The pastor interviewed on Hidden Brain described a situation where some image or information came through in the spiritual counseling session that did not seem appropriate. The people participating in the session all agreed that Jesus would never say something like that and give advice like that.
People claim that this inner voice knows things they do not know. It could be God, or it could be Jung's "collective unconscious,' or it could be our own unconscious minds which always know more than our conscious minds. Regardless, if we communicate with our imaginations, tapping into Jung's idea of a "collective unconscious," or God, we have to take care.
I don't think I'm struggling with the concept of God for myself so much as I am struggling to find a way to see people's beliefs on a continuum. For myself, I use that inner voice in my healing work. I always start with a prayer.
"I ask the dear Lord to use the strengths and weakness of my personality for the purpose of love and healing. And to heal and transform me in any way that is beneficial for (the person's name). I also ask that the work be safe, comfortable, easy, and effective."
I embed my work in what is beneficial for healing for the person I am working with and myself. I don't believe if I do something harmful to myself, it can be good for the other person. I have to acknowledge and protect my own boundaries. I also don't believe that I can do good when I bully a client into doing something my way because I know more. I only know what I know. I only know a system. That does not mean I know what's best for the client. As the client and I do this together, we will discover the optimal direction to take as we do the work. The first order of business is always, "Do no harm!"
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