Wednesday, September 15, 2021

 Wednesday, September 15, 2021

 

    I woke up in a lousy mood, very agitated. I called Judy. She told the story of visiting a friend at South Point. She drove down there with a woman she didn't know who spoke about the turmoil in her life for three hours. It made me feel better about my situation. My life, my current situation, is a piece of cake compared to hers. Sometimes comparing yourself to someone else can have good results.

     Each time I returned to the driveway from one of my short walks, I did a bit of gardening- just 10 minutes here and 10 minutes there. That adds up. 

      I fell into a YouTube rabbit hole. I listened to interviews with MeToo testifiers. Emma Thompson says it is endemic. Persecuting individuals won't change the culture, not that individuals who have molested and raped women because they could shouldn't be punished.

    Then I came across interviews with Barbra Streisand. There were scenes from the movie. One with her singing The Way We Were. Mike and I went to see that movie on our second date. I remember standing in the ticket line with him, noticing that I felt completely comfortable. As the song played, I sobbed. Mike declared it our song. Yes, indeed, I remember the laughter whenever I remember the way we were. I miss the laughter and the presence that varied from gentle to joyful presence- and sometimes annoyed and stubborn, but mostly the former. I have no one in my life that makes me feel the way he did. Do I miss him more or just that version of myself? Can I ever experience that version of myself again without him? We were intertwined -in a good way.

   Damon returned my early morning phone call and steeled himself for my rendition of Happy Birthday. He turned 49 today. Let's say it's not conventional. I started it because Mike couldn't sing to save himself. Allowing ourselves to caterwaul made it possible for him to throw himself into the song without feeling self-conscious. Today's rendition was the best ever. I'm considering going professional. I have more freedom to play around now that Mike's gone. I made a joke about there being benefits to his absence. Very much a joke. Damon laughed.

   I had K's crew. Third grade K wrote, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog," quickly. His letter formation and spacing looked great except for the letter z; he wrote it backward. His teacher had not sent home the modified primary paper I sent her, and K said she is not using it in class. She had told me he had trouble forming the numerals. I had him write them. He formed each correctly with good spacing. I started on spelling simple phonetically regular words. He did a good job with that.  

   Both the twins started with an actual story. It is the first Carpenter story featuring the -at family that I had worked with extensively. I had them identify all the -at words, and I'm working on having them memorize the sight words in this story. Once they can do this perfectly, I start the second story.

     When I asked adolescent D how school was, he said, "Great!" What made it great? He had a good time with friends. Did he do any work? No. one of his classmates had to go to the hospital because of his 'artery?" No, not that. His appendix? No. His father did something to him. No, he wasn't hurt at school; his father had hurt him. They had a 'lazy' day at school. He had trouble finding words to describe the story he knew. I was surprised by how little information he had about the circumstances of his classmate. Is this a difference between boys and girls? I would have had every detail down pat. What was clear was his problem describing as much as he did know. It was a "lazy" day, so they did not work, and a classmate was hospitalized because of his father. Hmmm! It sounds to me like a domestic abuse case, and schoolwork was dropped as everyone t with the impact of the problem. I don't know if my interpretation is correct. There are 'lazy' days right before a long holiday, but not in the middle of a regular school day. 

  Then I had a session with adolescent D; he did some reading. He misread a word. I asked him why he missed it. He said it was an accident in a defensive tone. He has said this before. I tried to get through to him that I didn't think he misread words deliberately. I understood it was an accident; it's just that his having accidents as he did was a problem. Today was the first day I got through that this problem needed attention. The question is will we/can we fix it? 

   I have been reading the latest book by Louise Penny, The Madness of Crowds. Jean, my hanai sister, and I read them as soon as they come out. I usually like her stuff. It's good for escape. This book is about a hot-button political issue. It's adding to my stress. I decided to find another book to read on my Kindle. I had already ordered the Elephant Whispered. Ah! Perfect.