Friday, September 17, 2021

 Friday, September 17, 2021

 

   Last night my sleep was troubled again. I am vulnerable these days. I sink into agitation more easily. True, I am still a relatively recent widow, I have difficult interpersonal relationships on two fronts, and I don’t have Mike to provide a solid, loving base. It’s very painful. I always feel like I’m on the verge of tears. Of course, I don’t look that way. I looked like an angry lady you’d rather avoid. But life is busy, and I keep trucking. This, too, will pass. 

     I have a friend in England who regularly reads my updates. She said they were ‘fascinating.’ I asked her about them did she find fascinating. I was thrilled with her answer. It amazed me that people continue to read them, but apparently, a number do. I am delighted.

 

Well, I like the stuff about the things you do, like gardening. Descriptions of your everyday actions - Crystal vitamins ground up :-). These are things I don’t do. 

And yes, I like the educational side too, but it is out of focus for me. 

Your analysis of relationships is also interesting. Sometimes I get resonance, sometimes not. 

 

But basically, this is an insight into someone’s thoughts, unmediated by having a discussion about it. That makes it different from other interactions. 

 

 

   While my notes on my students probably leave many people cold, I include them because I want to have these approaches out there somewhere. I think I am one of the only people trying the specific approach I use, using visualizations to change brain functioning.   I know the field of neuroscience isn’t doing anything like this yet. I suspect the first thing that will come in from the scientific and medical community will involve some physical intervention, possibly by shocking parts of the brain to stop irregular patterns which interfere with perception or stimulate parts of the brain that have been inactive.

      I had a PT appointment today. I only see her once every two weeks. That way, I can maximize the benefit of the limited sessions. Katie and I are a dream team. She makes careful observations. She shares her observations with me. She explains her observations and suggestions when I don’t understand them, and she appropriately modifies exercises for me. I can take her observations and exercises and adapt them to my every move. I understand the objective of each exercise, especially since Katie knows I can do something with the information. Then I go home and work with the information she gives me. We can see a difference after two weeks. We love working with each other. I sing her praises – to her. 

   Today she carefully checked my back. She had requested a full-spine X-ray. My PCP ordered it when I asked for it. The information was limited because the image was only taken from one angle. She carefully examined my lower spine. She said, “Here, there is a dip, and then it’s high here.”  It gives me a clear sense of how my spine is out of alignment and what I must do to correct it. Mind you; my spine has been out of alignment since I was a child. I don’t know if it was ever in proper alignment. I had birth trauma that bashed in my nose so badly that it never sprung back. I was banged into my mom’s hip for three hours. If my nose was permanently modified, I imagine that my cervical spine was damaged too. Today, she gave me exercises to stretch my piriformis. 

    After PT, I went to Safeway. I only needed more vegetarian Better than Bullion. I had just opened a new jar. I always get more of a staple when I start the last container of whatever it is. I sometimes fail at this. Recently, I was shocked to realize I hadn’t purchased more flaxseed in a timely way. 

     When I go into a public space, I wear the cloth mask Dorothy made of me, which I love, and a plastic shield. I added the shield since the Delta variant has started doing its thing. With this combination, I get more protection without limiting my breathing.

  I stopped off at Cosco Air-Conditioning, as the lady from Hawaiian Air Conditioning recommended. It was more like a store with aisles displaying items for sale. Hawaiian  

Air Conditioning was just an office. I spoke to someone there before I went. I have no idea why she didn’t suggest Cosco right away instead of agreeing when I said I would come in. Whatever. There were two people at the front desk at Cosco. They both approached me. The man took the remote out of my hand and slid down the front panel to remove it altogether instead of just revealing buttons. There were no batteries in it. That would make it ineffective. He noticed there was some rust on the ¬¬¬¬¬¬¬terminals. He didn’t think it could work. ‘The woman brought out AAA batteries. I said I had some at home. Given the rust, she just wanted to check if the batteries in the remote would work. It didn’t. I took the remote home. I tried to scrape the terminals to see if I could get the rust off. 

   Next, I stopped off at Home Depot. My mailbox is tilting. Installing a mailbox in the ground is a challenge here in Hawaii. You have to break through rock, solid hard rock. Some people do that, but most find some way to prop up their mailboxes. We have two out front. Josh bought them. They are in two big square-based flowerpots with soil bracing the posts. My flowerpot busted at one of the seams. The dirt poured out, and the post started listing. I tried reinforcing the pot with masking tape. Good try – no cigar.   I bought a new container but decided against it when I got it home. It was square-shaped like the one I had but smaller. I decided the container was too small and flimsier than the original, and the square bottom created those vulnerable seams. I think I will try to use cinder blocks, as Judy and Paulette did with their mailbox. 

    I also picked up a weed whacker. When I looked them up on Home Depot, I saw the price ranged from $39 to over $300. I had no idea what I needed. Mike had one. I have no idea what happened to it or when, but it is no longer in my possession. I got advice from Brian. He knew the difference between the various models. He warned me that these gadgets threw stones and could cause serious bruising to my shins. The weed whacker he had used a wire instead of a heavy fishline and was strong enough to pick up a rock the size of a baseball. It could do severe damage. He picked out a brand and a model that he thought would be best for me. He texted the information to me. I found it easily. It was on sale. Perfect.