Tuesday, July 19, 2022

 Tuesday, July 19, 2022

 

   I got up early and walked Elsa long enough for her to do her business. My leg was still bothering me. Before I sat down to meditate, I opened the files I would need in my session with the M & W sisters. After meditating for an hour, I was ready for my morning nap. I read more of What My Bones Know before falling out for forty-five minutes.  

   It took an unusual amount of time for M & W to sign on to the Zoom meeting. I discovered that neither of their parents was home. Their mother was at work, and their father was at a political meeting. He was planning to run for run for something. The girls had to sign themselves on.

   Going-into-second-grade M started by telling me about the goo she made. At first, it sounded like she had created the recipe. She said it included detergent and showed me a Clorox bottle. I said something about that not being detergent. She got out the goo she had made and played with it. When going-into-sixth W came on, M showed her she still had the goo in her hands, and the Clorox bottle was sitting there. M said, “OMG! You used Clorox. Mom’s going to kill you if you ruin your clothes. Go wash your hands.” W told me other stories of mistakes her younger sister made. M is younger than W, but she is old enough to know the difference between detergent and Clorox. It was the first time I got an indication there may be something wrong with her cognitively. Hearing W tell stories about her, M told her to shut up. It was clear these stories hurt her.

   This session with the girls was stressful. I didn’t know what made the difference between it being so instead of a pleasure. I was ready for a second nap when it was over. I made sure I was caught up with the public blog post. I usually did that first thing in the morning. Now I made meditating and napping a priority. 

  I had a two pm session with D. His mom was down with Covid. He said she was isolated in the house and feeling lousy. The session was more lecture than actual work. Getting him to make an effort and use his conscious mind to teach himself something new was always challenging. 

   Today I asked D if he would read books or articles independently. No! Would he be willing to read along while someone read the material? “No! That’s ridiculous.” Either way, he has to learn to make that effort, or he’s screwed. He can’t walk away from all situations that don’t come easily or feel comfortable. When he does take on challenges with grace, his brain will change. Anything new or unfamiliar has always been a struggle. 

    D’s mother told me he was never willing to pursue something if it required effort. He wanted everything to come easily. Did he have his current reading problems because he refused to learn another way, or did he refuse to learn another way because of an inherent problem? We will never know. 

  D had continuing trouble discerning the difference between sad and said. I found a memory trick. There is an i in said. I told him to think, “I said.” You can’t say “I sad; it’s not correct English. When I asked him if he understood what I said, he said, “Yeah,’ in a somewhat annoyed tone. I asked him to repeat what I said. He wasn’t even close. Did he have an auditory processing or an attention problem? Is this problem something he cultivated, or was he born with a neurological impairment? I restated the trick. This time I asked him to repeat what I had said. He had trouble repeating it accurately. I planned to do this more. Why hadn’t I done it earlier? This boy’s ego is so fragile that I must think twice before forcing him to reveal his limitations. He still didn’t allow me to see his image on Zoom. He spent his life hiding. It was frustrating. Could I have gotten further by forcing him, or was respecting his ego boundaries the best approach? I would never know for sure. I knew that I could push more now than in the past. It was the best I could do.

   I watched the Netflix production of Persuasion on Jean’s recommendation. I loved it. Dakota Johnson was a pleasure. They used color-blind casting as they had in Bridgerton, but without any attempt to explain it. It was still a little jarring. While I fully support such casting, showing people of color as equals to whites in all ways, I was still not used to it. I first saw color-blind casting in contemporary British shows. I quickly adjusted to that. The historical dramas are a bit harder. It does not represent the reality of that time.

   Some argue that such casting for historic dramas does a disservice to people of African descent. Some people will watch these shows and believe they represent the truth for black people back then when it don’t. Color blind casting can be a two-edged sword. However, anyone who watches these shows and believes they accurately represent the past is either stunningly ignorant of the historical truth or predisposed to deny the history of slavery and the ongoing mistreatment of all people of color. Some deny the Holocaust. They don’t need a movie depicting a world where Jews were treated well. My father’s family were Jews in Germany. They felt fully German. They were proud Germans; they were integrated. That truth does not contradict the truth of the Holocaust.