I had a terrible night's sleep. I was distraught over what the tree trimmer had done to my trees, particularly my lime tree. It's not just that he damaged my tree; it's that he should have known better, probably did know better, and just didn't care. I lost it. I fell asleep easily and woke up two hours later. I lay in bed for two more hours before I got up, sat in my meditation chair, and meditated for another two hours. I could finally fall asleep. I was up by 6. A little late in the game since there was driveway yoga at 7.
I shared my upset about the tree trimming with Yvette and B. I was declaring that I was going to post information on his lousy work on Facebook. If I'm right about him, he really shouldn't get work. People have to be warned. Yvette suggested that I contact him and ask him about my trees before I slander him. Good idea!
Scott came over to lay the acoustic pad. He decided not to lay the other underpad in case Mike, the carpet guy, needed to see the edge to put down the tacking strips. He made a list of things Mike would need. Scott is meticulous. It is so reassuring. I know he is going to think through every detail.
Darby joined me on my before-dinner walk. I gave her the reflective armbands I bought for her. I had my own already. I could see hers were visible from a distance. When I looked down at mine, they didn't look like they could be seen without light hitting them directly. I didn't want to count on something that didn't work.
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Musings:
Co-creation. In marriage, a two-part invention.
Madeleine L'Engle wrote entitled a book "Two-Part Invention: The Story of a Marriage." I've known about the book for a long time; I just ordered it on Amazon. I don't know her story, but I feel Mike and I lived that way in our marriage; we believed it was something we created together.
I have met people who just believe things just are the way they are. I couldn't afford to think that way. I was a mess for most of my young life. I had to believe recreating myself was possible, or I was sunk. I remember thinking as a young person, possibly even in high school, "If there is a way into this mess, there has to be a way out." I was committed to finding it and passing on what I learned to others.
Mike and I believed in co-creation; we believed in the dialectic: thesis, antithesis, synthesis. Start with two ideas, mix, and come out with something completely different – even better than the two original ideas. It's not a matter of one person conceding to the other; it's not a matter of getting your own way. There is an acceptance that 'I' don't always know what's best. Besides that, the purpose of a marriage isn't a means of getting what 'I' want; it's a means of learning to be a bigger person.
I know I had this concept long before I met Mike. I don't think he had thought it out quite as well I had, but I do know that he loved the idea. I do know that when a colleague told him to look for a 'worthy opponent' in a mate before he met me, Mike liked that idea. We all need to be stopped in our tracks and pushed in a slightly different direction, but always with love, never because we want it our way or want to dominate. When those motivations slip into the picture, it's all over but the shouting.
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