Tuesday, August 9, 2022

 Tuesday, August 9, 2022   

 

 I had nothing scheduled for today. On my morning walk, I ran into Paulette, a walking buddy. Elsa barked, and Paulette jumped. A few months ago, she was attacked by a dog while walking on Hiolani. When Paulette passed a property with many homeless people living on it, a dog came out, latched on to her lower arm, and bit through to the bone. She said," I used to love dogs. Now, I'm afraid of every dog. It's horrible. However, I also feel I want to hang  on to the fear." I understood both statements. She said she was so relieved to talk to someone who didn't just tell her to get over it. She had a classic case of single-incident PTSD, simple PTSD. I recommended EFT.

  Scientists have proven that we run on automatic-pilot most of the time. Our conscious minds become involved AFTER we've started to act. We should all value our unconscious responses. However, while functional ones serve us well, some are dysfunctional and don't serve us well. They are lessons applicable to very limited circumstances. Yet, we still hang on to them.

   The father of the two girls I worked with last year called. I had asked repeatedly for information on the schedule for the upcoming year. I heard nothing. I also had a cool email exchange with the mother. I assumed they decided not to continue with me. Guess not. We'll see.

   The father told me the girls wouldn't continue with the other tutor. Going into second-grade M's reading was strong enough, and the speech therapist cost a fortune. I bet. Why did they have her see a speech therapist? She was just for her supposed dyslexia. I had my doubts if that was her problem. It resolved too easily.

  Going-into-sixth-grade W was starting a new school, a high-end, academically competitive private school. Dad got a reading list in the spring. He didn't read it correctly. Two books were supposed to be read over the summer. W was listening to the audio versions now. I asked him to send me copies of all the books she has to read. He said he ordered them for me and would send me an email. There was no email later in the day. Dad is a nervous wreck. I'd say he has an anxiety disorder. He makes everyone nervous.

  I worked on the revisions of my Will. Howard, Judy's husband, who is a lawyer, was helping me. He told me what changes to make to the document. Since the Will was on a disc, he said to fill in the information and send it to him. I opened the disc using my external DVD player. I couldn't figure out how to unlock the document. I started typing it up.

    I heard Ethan Kross, author of the best-selling book Chatter, talk about the default brain. It's the part of our brain that chatters away when we aren't focused on something else, and often even if we are.   This brain function has a lot in common with the physical act of breathing. Breathing is automatic. It is the only automatic body function we can willfully control. The default brain is like that. If we don't consciously direct it to do something else, it will run on its own. Like breathing, chatter is necessary for our survival. We don't like it when it goes awry, but we're screwed if it does goes away altogether. They did a test with college students. They gave them math problems. When working on the problems, the chatter stopped. The moment they stopped working on the math problems, the chatter started up again.

 I love Confessions of a Buddhist Atheist by Stephon Batchelor. Anyone interested in Buddhism should read this. I have learned about several sects of Buddhism, Batchelor's thoughts on Buddha's thinking, and Buddha's life. Batchelor talks about how the politics of the time affected Buddha. He didn't have an easy time. Like all great leaders, he was not universally valued, no less loved.  

   Batchelor also helped clarify a definition of 'self,' which Buddha said does not exist. What is this thing that does not exist? From what I read, it means there is no constant internal self. It is often understood metaphysically. Christianity believes there is a self that survives the death of the body. Many sects of Buddhism hold a comparable belief. The belief is the 'self' passes on to another life. Batchelor argues that Buddha's reference to the self was not metaphysical. He meant that any concept we have of ourselves, as in "I am a       -----." It is not fixed. It has no permanence. Everything is open to change. Life circumstances force us to redefine ourselves. It is clinging to some image of self that causes suffering.