Saturday, July 22, 2023

 Saturday, July 22, 2023

    I've been home for about a month now. I'm making great progress. I'm using ten-finger touch typing to write this update. I can only manage this with my computer on my lap. I can't raise my left arm high enough to do it with the computer on a table. My ring finger and pinky on my left hand are still swollen and numb. I have to make accommodations. My goal is to be able to pick my nose with my left hand. So far, I can touch my belly, but not much higher. 

  After my shoulder surgery, the hospital occupational therapist told me to wear the sling at all times. I was to take it off twice daily to do arm stretches to prevent my muscles from freezing in a contracted position. When I saw my surgeon last Tuesday, she said I was only to wear the sling when in public to alert people to my vulnerability. How's that for contradictions? Fortunately, the sheer discomfort of my improperly sized sling made me seek ways to protect the arm without it. I would be in much worse shape now if I hadn't. I ditched it at night first. I placed a pillow under my upper arm. The occupational therapist told me I could ditch it when sitting in a chair with arms. I put a pillow on the arm of the chair and rested my arm there.

   I also ditched the hospital bed. I've spent the last three nights sleeping in my own bed. What a treat! The agency Scott rented it from will pick it up on Monday. Yay! Good know what I need to do when I get older. 

   The man staying with me did a fantastic job taking care of me for the first week or so a few- until he burned out. Apparently, he took the job very seriously, a little too much so. He hadn't slept well. I thanked him for telling me. I had a moment of panic. I still needed 24-hour care. Judy went into action and had someone by my side within hours. I couldn't have handled that task. I was still fuzzy-headed from the drugs and too emotionally involved in the outcome. Brian said he could take the overnight shift but couldn't make it for Friday and Saturday nights. He was preparing and attending his grandson's graduation party. Paulette slept over Friday night, and Judy did Saturday. I would do it for someone. I choose friends who enjoy giving but respect their limits.

   This situation has revealed so much about people, both delightful and frightening. I asked one family member to text me daily and call me once a week. He refused. It wasn't the way he operated. He wouldn't make an accommodation for me. He only called twice in a month and a half. The purpose of the second call was to tell me he was canceling plans to visit Hawaii because he didn't want to deal with the stress of my limitations and to ask me why I didn't go into a residential facility instead of getting help at home; "I had the money." I already had 24-hour coverage at home. He never asked how that was doing with the home care. I rarely complain outright about someone, but the degree of self-centeredness is impressive.

  As anyone who's been in a hospital knows, you get to deal with a cornucopia of personalities. So interesting. It was almost worth the accident. Some loved me, and some hated me. I have a strong personality. I am not a people pleaser. Nor am I someone who insists on getting my own way, but I do insist that we negotiate. That's a deal breaker for many people. 

    The OT, making home visits, told me she was concerned when she first met me, but I became her favorite client. I asked her why she was concerned when she met me. I was bright and had more knowledge of the body than her average client. She thought I would dominate. She discovered I was as interested in her point of view and knowledge as I was in having input. People cannot work on me; I won't have it. Everyone has to work with me. I am not a passive participant in a relationship. People who do it love working with me. The work becomes more exploratory and vastly more successful when the client is an active participant, and it so much fun. People learn that I respect their input. Now that's not always true. If I find someone truly incompetent, I don't. But that's the exception, not the rule.