Sunday, January 7, 2024

  Sunday, January 7, 2024

 

  I forgot to set my alarm and slept straight through to five-thirty. I am usually wide awake well before my alarm goes off at five am. I got up a few times during the night but fell back asleep quickly. The only disturbing feeling was one I associate with loneliness. That’s a killer.

   I have noticed that I’m burning out with the students. Now, in all fairness to me, the work is taxing. I am constantly dealing with people who need help learning something, who I must comfort and protect. It is never an equal relationship. They are never concerned about me, and the work is never relaxing, just two folks hanging out together, happy to be in each other’s company. The work can be energizing and gratifying because I succeed, but it doesn’t address the human need for companionship.

   My walking buddies, particularly Darby and Yvette, address some of that need. However, we’re always doing something together. I need parallel play activities. We’re both doing our own thing in the company of the other. 

The connection is solid even if we’re not directly engaged. It’s just comfortable. There’s no objective. I had that with Mike.

   I became aware of my need for that type of companionship one day when Mike and I were renting an apartment for two weeks at Harvey Cedars on Long Beach Island in New Jersey. He was in one room, and I was in another, but we were on the same floor. I felt content with the arrangement. At home, we had a two-story house with a partly finished basement where he had his office. There could be two stories between us. That didn’t feel good. I love living in the commune even though relationships were far from ideal. What I shared with Mike was my idea of wonderful.

   I drove to church this morning instead of hitching a ride with Judy and Paulette. Second grade M’s father asked me to meet with her in the morning. I wanted to be home by eleven. Judy said they were going to make a quick stop at Safeway. Judy never makes quick stops at Safeway.  

   When I sent the Zoom, there was no response. I texted and was told they were on the road. That was upsetting. I went out of my way for them, and he couldn’t wait until the afternoon to do his chores? I calmed down. I found sitting with the grief is helping. My tolerance for others is building up again.

    I called Mama K twice in the morning to ask if her kids were available. She answered on the second call. She was home, and we set up the Zoom. All three of the kids are doing much better. Fifth-grade K can answer most of the questions I ask. He has started making predictions, can defend his position, and is prepared to find out he’s wrong if the author wrote the story differently than what he had in mind.

   Twin A is sailing through the sight word lists, completing the first 300 words corresponding to grade three. Considering that she didn’t know all the letters in the alphabet at the end of grade one, this is remarkable progress. I am hopeful she will be an independent reader at grade level three by the end of the summer. That would put one year behind when she enters grade 5.  

  Twin E, who has been lagging behind, is also moving ahead. We repeatedly reviewed the first one hundred words on the Fry Sight Word List. Earlier this week, she finally read them well enough, with enough accuracy and speed, that I felt comfortable moving on to the next list. We worked on the words 101- 150. We needed to go over the first twenty-five on the list a few times before she did well enough to move on to the next. I videoed her reading the two lists today. She did well on both. The second one she had never read before. She did very well, not perfectly, mind you, just very well. For her, that’s exciting.

   I called Mama K after the session. I told her what I was seeing. She told me Twin A had picked up a book on her own and walked around reading it. If she got stuck on a word, she would ask her mom. This is a huge breakthrough.  

   At three, I had second-grade M, and her father had asked her what book she was interested in reading. She wanted Chocolate Touch, stories based on the Midas touch. I wanted him to tell me before the session so I could download the book on Kindle. Her dad strikes me as being somewhat flaky. While I can be disappointed in his behavior, he never means to be rude or disrespectful. He has expressed great appreciation for what I have done for his children. If he tells me there is a problem, he has seen improvement each time. M’s current problem was her inability to verbally communicate what was going on in her mind. She gives single-word answers to questions. I told her she had the right answer in her head, but she wasn’t communicating it. That boosted her confidence and helped her take risks.

    I tried to pair my new Shokz earphones with my computers. Yvette told me it made a huge difference in her Zoom sessions when she used the earphones. She could hear better, and the person on the other end said I sounded clearer. I find myself yelling on Zoom. If these earphones improve the sound quality, I would be thrilled, but I couldn’t figure out how to do it for love nor money. I will call the company for tech support on Monday.

   I spoke to second-grade M’s father after my session with her to tell him of her improvement in comprehension. It was more her ability to articulate her thoughts than to know the answer to the question. It quickly became apparent that she had the right thought but didn’t say what she had in her mind so the teacher would know it was there. I wanted to know if her dad was also seeing improvement. He giggled in response to the question; yes, he giggled. “Oh, my God. We are seeing tremendous improvement. She is expressing her thoughts better. We are also seeing a big difference in her vocabulary. She announced she wants to go to Punahou.” This is the high-end private school that Obama attended on Oahu. You got to love it!! This girl is now an ambitious student; before, she stumbled among her family. I felt great after that conversation.