Friday, January 12, 2024
For the past two nights, I had nightmares of falling. I cannot afford any more falls. My PT warned me to use my right arm to catch myself if I fall. Apparently, I can do significant damage to the left arm. Because of the metal in my arm, there is no give. I will break all the other bones. This morning, I started problem-solving. 1) I have to practice falling again. When I learned to fall in my dance classes in my twenties, I began falling from a kneeling position. I will start there. I learned to roll my hands onto the floor to break the impact. I will start there again. I'll begin with the hand rolling on a tabletop. 2) I wrote my orthopedic surgeon to get more information about my degree of risk. I want details of what can happen if my left arm gets shocked. I also wanted to know the limits of what I can do. Can I do a military push-up? A plank?
Seeing the harness didn't work with Elsa's injury. It slipped and moved to rub one of the puncture wounds. A collar would work. Before I went to Petco to buy a new one, I asked Yvette if she had one left over from her old dogs. She had one that was perfect. Elsa is back as a full-time walking partner.
The lead character in The Good Karma Hospital, Dr. Lydia Fonseca, tells one of her frustrated doctors that there is something positive about resignation when faced with it from the patients. It's the fatalism of Hinduism. I saw the connection between fatalism and surrender. I hear people talk about the importance of surrender. Our culture is the exact opposite. Surrender and acceptance are not part of our culture. We need more of it. But then people sell the value of surrender indiscriminately. I refer back to the Serenity Pray.
As I typed this, I wondered who wrote the Serenity Prayer. It was a Christian minister and philosopher associated with academia, Niebuhr, who had nothing to do with Alcoholics Anonymous. The founders of AA found the prayer and made it their own.
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