I didn't want to repeat the same conversation over and over and over without having new information. I was crabby about it. I made it clear that I was not pleased with the repeat loop of the same conversation without some additional information on their part. I also wanted to know if I needed to file for probate. Their company may demand that I do that although my lawyer says it is not necessary in Hawaii. There may be different rules by state or even by organization. I wasn't very nice about it. I wasn't soft and polite. I was thinking they're thinking, "Gee, she is nothing like Mike. She's nasty and scary." It's true. Mike was always controlled and interested in just solving the problem, not acting out in addition. Mike would never have acted that way, and he wouldn't approve of me acting this way either. There really is no excuse for my behavior, but there is an explanation. I spend hours and hours on the phone trying to get information, forms, and delivering information and forms. None of it's routine. I'm always in new and unexplored territory. It's exhausting. That's just an explanation, not an excuse. I have to remember what Mike always said, 'It's just a problem to be solved." Keep your focus on that, and don't act out. This is not to say he never acted out. He did, but I was mostly the beneficiary of that. And, he did do a lot less of it as he got older.
I had to prepare my Juice Plus smoothie this morning because I forgot to make it last night. I gulped down my two cups of water and headed out to Bikram. After yoga, I stopped off at Home Depot to return an electric extension cord, dump batteries, and buy a plant scissor I saw Paulette use on my indoor plants. The extension cord was not from Home Depot, and they don't accept single-use batteries, but they did have the tool I was looking for. It's a precision pruner. It just amazes me how much there is left to learn in our complicated world. The other day I learned I could use the Rainbow vacuum to clean up poop and other stains. Last week I learned about this tool when I watched Paulette, Judy's sister, use hers on my house plant. And, today I learned what it is called. Can my brain hold more information? Will it run out of room?
When I got home, I took my shower and made my soup. I don't know if I mentioned my soup before. I drink it every day before I have my smoothie. The soup is instant miso with tofu. I boil a whole 8-cup pot water. Two cups of the boiling water go to my soup. The rest of the boiling water goes to the garden. This is how I weed.
I was committed to working on the blog today, trying to catch up since I'm about a week behind. I got Thursday's out this morning. Since I had a 1:30 appointment with my tax accountant to pick up my taxes and a 3:30 appointment with my chiropractor in the same neighborhood, I took my computer with me so I could work on the entries in between appointments.
Before the Bikram class started, Yvette leaned over and told me she forgot her phone. Please, tell Josh she knew and would be home at 3pm. Yvette is the one who introduced me to Bikram. I arrived in Colorado from New Jersey for her wedding with Josh. She picked us up from the airport and declared, "You have to try this yoga." So my first hot yoga class was right after getting off a 2-hour flight with some version of jet lag, wearing a tee-shirt and my overall dungaree cutoffs. I still loved it and have been doing it ever since. The very thing that makes it boring for some people makes it perfect for me. The class is always the same. That way I can observe my own body and see the difference in what it does and how I can make changes instead of having to concentrate on the gross (in the sense of large) aspects of the practice, like, "Now, which leg do I use and where do I put it?"
I asked Josh to come up so we could talk about how we're going to handle the repayment on the mortgage, which I just paid off. We had had some discussion before we started this process but nothing firm. Josh and I are on the same page. Josh and I are the financial conservatives. We're both relieved to not be in debt to a bank. We're figuring out their repayment, so it covers what at least my monthly expenses: insurance, taxes, electricity, and water.
After I finished my two-minute appointment with my tax accountant, I headed over to the chiropractor's office. I sat there for two hours working on the blog. She came out around 2 pm and said, "You know your appointment is at 3:30?" Yep. I got a lot of work done. I went home after that and took a nap. After all that bodywork, I needed one.
Sandor came over to pick up my glasses so he could change out the lenses. He said he would have them back the next day. "There's no hurry." He had gone out of his way.
When I got up, I did Elsa's before dinner walk. When I came home, I ate the leftover salad and other leftovers from the funeral. I was going to heat it up, but it was good cold, particularly the chicken dish. I entered books into CollectorZ.com while I watched TV.
During Elsa's before bedtime walk, I talked to Mike, "I love you. I love you. Your kiss is on my list as one of the best things in life." I know, it's a line from a Hall and Oates song, if not the title. Being able to freely express my love is one of the things I miss the most. When we got back to the house, I washed my face, brushed my teeth went to bed. Good night, Elsa. Good night, Mike.
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