I woke up this morning dreaming of hugging and kissing Mike. Boy, I miss that contact. A couple of people have expressed concern for my mental state. No, I’m not depressed. While I sleep a lot, I don’t have trouble getting out of bed when I feel I’ve slept enough. Sleep seems like a somewhat healthy reaction to such a significant change. It’s like recovering from an illness. I have a dis-ease. Also, I continue to enjoy things, besides playing FreeCell. And I don’t feel like my life is empty and without meaning. When those hit, I’ll let you all know.
I did the long walk around the block with Elsa since I was not going to Bikram. The other day I noticed that the wear at the bottom of my shoes was different left to the right foot. I place my right heel down further back on the foot than I do my left heel. I had been concentrating on putting the outer edge of my left foot on the ground as I walk changing the alignment. Now, I’ve switched the focus to pulling my right hip back as I walk so I can extend my left leg further and have my heel strike further back on the left foot. It’s an unwinding process. I work on one side of the body, do as much as I can there, and then it’s time to switch the focus to another side or part of the body. It’s all part of the process.
When Elsa and I went for our walk, I finally dropped off a card in Alexandra’s mailbox with my telephone number. She said she would be interested in working for me on her summer break from high school entering books into the CollectionZ ap. Because there was no Bikram this morning, Elsa and I continued on the long walk around the block. When I came around the corner returning to our block, I noticed the wheel thingy and axel were gone. I did find one short metal tube, which I suspect came from the contraption. I picked that up.
When I got home, I showered, did MELT for both my feet and my hands. Paulette texted me, asking if I was going to church. She said Judy was still in bed and concluded she was not going. Judy hasn’t been to church in a while because she feels so lousy from the chemo. I told Paulette to text me as she was leaving her house so I could be waiting out front. I waited and waited. She was unusually late, so I called her. Judy had gotten up and decided to go. How exciting! While I waited for them to pull up, I weeded the edge of the driveway.
I was tired in church. That dream this morning about Mike exhausted me. I miss him. Fr. Diego announced his farewell dinner on June 28. Someone else is leaving the parish. Pretty soon, there will be no priests who knew Mike. Sad.
When I got home, I read some of the NY Times and napped – for four hours. When I got up, I worked on the blog. Elsa started something new. As I sit and work on the blog, she climbs up on my shoulders, nestles between the back of the chair and my back and pants away. I have to check if her rapid breathing is normal for her breed.
Paulette came to the door with some goodies Judy had baked from scratch, cinnamon buns, and chocolate cupcakes.
I texted August to remind him that he never read the poem he had prepared for school to me. He said he was going to have to review it first and would read it to me tomorrow. We had some back and forth via text on the meaning of the poem. I found it funny. He didn’t exactly get that.
I also spoke to Cylin, who knows the publishing world. I asked how long it might take before we hear from the publishing house about whether or not they are willing to publish Mike’s book. She said it could take a while. Pursuing that information is an agent’s job. We don’t have an agent. Mike Berstene is not only acting as an agent, but he is also going to be the proxy author. She said the publishing business slows down over the summer. People go on vacation. This is particularly true for academic publishing houses that had to have everything in the can by spring.
Josh came up to pick up his clothes from the drier. He settled into Mike’s recliner. Yeah! I love having someone else up here. This is great. We both have something we need, connection with privacy. At first, Elsa settled in his lap. I sent pictures of it to the trio in California, Damon, Cylin, and August, Elsa’s fan club.
Elsa and I followed the usual evening routine before going to be. Goodnight, Elsa. Goodnight, Mike. I love you.
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