I woke up shortly before 5:30. Elsa and I headed out for our walk. It was cold this morning. I took off my sweatshirt in preparation for driveway yoga; I was cold during the class. I hear complaints from mainland residents about how hot it is where they live. Here in the tropics, it’s cool enough for me to wear a sweatshirt for most of the day. Go figure!
The day has been marked by tiredness and naps, lots of naps. That feeling of mental fog that I was feeling yesterday continued today. I feel somewhat brain dead. Scary. I got some stuff done, vacuuming, and giving poor Elsa a much-hated bath.
I am wondering why I am feeling the way I am. Has debilitating grief finally hit? Do I finally feel alone? I am not more alone now than I have been since Mike died, and I can call on his love for me and mine for him whenever I choose. I do feel more separate from some friends. They have their own lives. Is this what is bothering me? Have I been protected from this?
I connected with Elise the other day about getting my Phonics Discovery system audio files on YouTube. Elise successfully combined all the tracks of a single story, flowing continuously instead of stopping after each track. But she was not able to combine it with the PowerPoint I had prepared. The program demands that the audio file be added to the PowerPoint. That program won’t allow long tracts to be attached. The audio file is about 10 minutes long. There is no way to add the PowerPoint to the audio file with some other program. The question is, how can I post the audio file without explaining what it is about? I did that on the bandcamp.com site, but that went nowhere.
I have a better handle on what I want to communicate with the article. It’s really almost finished; well, another draft with some pretty dramatic changes is almost ready. Then I’ll send it out to Dorothy and Shivani to review it. I think this version is a lot clearer. Writing it helped me get a clearer idea of how to use the method myself.
I told Scott and Yvette about my disappointment with posting the audio file after the yoga class. God bless, Scott. He says there has to be a way to do this. Maybe I should think about designing my explanation of the program differently. I doubt anyone will know what effect the audio file can have from just listening to it. I would never have suspected it myself if I hadn’t seen its impact on students and experienced the impact myself.
I got an email from an old campmate who says he is getting malicious emails from me. I just realized they are in my maiden name. Maybe he is getting them from my address and only didn’t include the -Ross.
I continued feeling sluggish and isolated. In response to that, the universe got to work. First, I got a call from Paulette asking me if I’d like some mango. They have six mango trees. We have two. Mango is not my favorite fruit. I prefer apples. I love the crunch and the slight sourness. Also, mango sap carries the same chemical toxin as poison ivy. Yuck!
I called Zola. The dear lady has a daughter who was just operated on and is alone on the mainland. Of course, air travel is out, so Zola can’t join her. Yes, her daughter is a full-grown adult with adult children. The situation may be harder on Zola than on her daughter.
Next, I got a call from Judy. We were on forever, mostly talking about the current political and global situation. We have no solutions any more than anyone else does. Well, maybe not anyone else. Some see an easy path out: open up, let people die, the economy is the priority, only trauma for children if there is no school, etc. People who ‘know’ all the answers give me agita. Bad, bad agita.
I went out for my walk with Elsa. I didn’t contact Darby because I didn’t think I could handle contact with another human being. I headed out in the opposite direction to deliberately avoid passing by her house. The next thing I knew, I heard her calling my name. Here she came running down the street after me. I had accidentally butt-dialed her. She had taken it as an invitation. Rather than wearing on me, her company was just the pick-up I needed.
Last night, I put a cup of uncooked rice in the Hot Pot. I got way more than I needed. Today I realized I could measure the amount I would need in a meal and freeze each portion separately. I feel like I’m reinventing the wheel at the age of eighty.
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Musings:
I watch a lot of English and Canadian shows. I am struck by the diversity in their casting. It’s probably not quite up there with the casting of Hamilton, but close. The cast is thoroughly integrated. There are also disabled people cast regularly. There is little mention of the handicap. As I watch, they become just another one of the characters. Very interesting.
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