Sunday, October 24, 2021

Sunday, October 24, 2021

 I had a good night's sleep without any discomfort. I slept until 6:30. Wow! That's late. I ran into Vince and Julie. They were late too.  Julie abandoned Vince to walk with me.  I changed my route, and she modified her pace to accommodate me.  Why were they running late?

   They had been up since 2 am working on processing the fish jerky.  Vince had a large order to fill. I learned more about the process.  Vince will get a large fish, 200 lbs., butcher it into even large chunks, place them on trays and store them in the freezer. He doesn't process them until he gets an order. That's what they were doing this morning.  

    Vince was angry at Julie because she did something 'wrong.'.   They got a new 'sprayer,' used to cover the fish with teriyaki sauce.  She had trouble managing it, and Vince got angry.  He likes things the way he likes them. Somewhat bossy. But these two have been together for close to sixty years and still walk together every morning. They had an exceptional son, and they, and their respective extended families, accepted this boy with his crossdressing and homosexuality at a time when it was not commonly understood, no less accepted.

     Julie also told me their freezer was almost bare, as it is every winter because the fish leave the area.  Huh? Where do the fish go? How did the native Hawaiians survive back in the day if the fish left?  The native Hawaiians didn't go after the larger fish, marlins that Vince uses for his jerky. They fished the smaller fish they could capture in the fishponds they built. She also said fish wasn't a major staple for them. Julie is a fund of all sorts of knowledge. 

   I ran into Isaac on a morning run.  I haven't heard from him in a dog's age. I concluded the teachers in his church-run school told him to have nothing to do with that heathen.  He said no. He was just busy. He was able to tell me the students responded very well to using 'air writing' to learn the alphabet.  They see it as a game and do it on their own. Isn't that what we want to have happen? No, he hadn't watched my video yet. Did I mention already that my Phase I video does not come up when I put in 'phonics' in the search bar on YouTube? What??!!  Tommy has to fix that.

     The day was devoted to minor cleaning chores, incidental weeding, and I started cleaning the lanai screens. I have eight 8 by 4 panels (top) and eight 8 by 2 ½ panels (bottom) screens.  I have tried different ways to clean them. Taking them down and washing them outside is not an option. Removing the screens is a big deal.  I have found the best method. I use a two-gallon garden sprayer. I put towels on the floor at the base of the screens and microfiber cloths on the top of the railing to catch the water as it runs down.  I keep spraying and wringing out the cloths until the water is reasonably clear. As the water runs down the screen, I can see the dirt.  It works well.  For the screens on the sliding glass door in my bedroom leading to the outdoor lanai, I just turn the garden hose on them after soaping them down.  

     Judy called with an update on the Mei/a neighbor situation. She stopped short, and he nearly hit her. He honked and yelled at her and then cursed her. Wow! To say this is unusual behavior for Hawaii would be an understatement.  Everything is slow here.  I moved from Brooklyn to NJ and had to slow down.  Then I moved from Princeton to Columbus, Ohio, and had to change my expectations.  Moving west has been progressively more and more relaxing. It's a genuine 'whatever' and 'no worries." It's just lovely.  

   The neighbor has been lovely to the Glicksteins. This was really out of character. Judy mentioned the incident to Adam, who had more contact with the man. He asked him about it. Yes, it was him, and he was embarrassed by his behavior. No, he was not up to apologizing. It was good to know the man felt embarrassed.  He must have been startled.  

     That type of thing doesn't bother me that much. It did happen to me.  I didn't get angry.  Mike helped me with that. I think we get upset when we feel we are responsible and can't handle it.  Mike taught me to focus on the problem at hand. The problem was Mei had stopped short, forcing the man to stop short.  Yes, he shouldn't have been driving that closely if he had to slam on his brakes, but all's well that ends well. The problem was Mei was in his way. He could just have moved around her and been done with it.

      I have sympathy for his response, even though I wouldn't have reacted that way in that situation. However, when I feel out of control, I have no leverage in a situation, I start scrambling like a frightened animal. I hate it in myself.  I also understand that I'm not a 99lb. weakling (an allusion to the Mr. Atlas ads, for those of you who remember them).  I must be frightening. It annoys the hell out of me when people see themselves only as benign victims, only defending themselves.  Really??? My therapist says you can never get people like that to admit they've done anything wrong.  I appreciate that it's their problem, but they make it mine.  I have my own vulnerability.

   I ran into Isaac on his evening walk. I changed my pathway and walked with him.  He is a Seventh Day Adventist, an evangelical church. He's taking a year off to volunteer in a local church-run school. He told me already that his parents would deconstruct the message of the service, saying what they agreed with and didn't agree with. Tonight, he told me that his dad's peaceful nights' sleep ended with the election of Trump.  I asked him what about the church he liked.  I wasn't challenging him; I wanted to understand

   He started saying an accurate interpretation of the Bible. I challenged that. He conceded. I think the Bible has remained significant because it is open to many interpretations.  However, I know the Catholic church does not ground itself in the Bible quite the way the Protestant sects do, but each Protestant sect has a different slant.   For now, it came down to community.  I articulated something I have always been aware of but never put into words before. Church communities are the only ones that involve not just whole nuclear families but extended families. Everyone in the family attends, regardless of age. Each age group finds its own. I can't think of another organization that offers that kind of universality across generations.  Of course, few churches offer universality across other parameters.   Whatever, I enjoy talking to Isaac. He is thoughtful and articulate. 

    I enjoyed Offspring more. It's a very well-written Soap Opera. The characters' annoying characteristics are undercut with some satisfying connection.