Friday, April 8, 2022

 Friday, April 8, 2022  

  Another wonderful night's sleep. I remain eternally grateful for this gift.   When I got up, my leg was in the same condition as when I went to sleep. I had a 7:30 PT appointment. I showered and left.

  I told Katie that I had decided on THR. She said two things: 1) we had to start working on pre-op prep, strengthening my left glutes and upper thigh muscles, and 2) it would be a significant adjustment for me. I didn't ask why it would be more significant for me than anyone else. I was afraid to ask. 

    I asked her to attend to the pain in my knee. She thought it might be the meniscus, whereas I had hoped it was just the muscles surrounding the knee. That would add a knee problem to my hip one. She said all the joints in my left leg were compromised because of my lifelong misalignment. She suggested I get an X-ray of my knee before my hip surgery on June 2. She also said that given both problems, doctors would operate on his hip before doing the knee. I went home and looked at images of the meniscus online; I suspected she was wrong.  

     I was concerned it was a torn muscle, the one Mike wrenched. She gave me good news there. She said there are eight small muscles in that area. If one is torn, the other seven can do a fine job. Of course, my hopes of having a career as a professional dancer would be dashed. Katie did some work on that sore knee. Both she and Terry have used a similar approach. They place the joint at the edge of discomfort and then manipulate it gently. It's incredible work. My leg wasn't better when I left, but I was more optimistic about the outcome.

      I developed a concern about torn muscles because of something I learned in my twenties. My dance instructor, Doris Humphry, walked with a pronounced limp. As I understood it, her Achilles or hamstring tore in the middle of a concert. She was never the same. Katie said the Achilles would be a problem, but a torn hamstring would not be a deal-breaker. The Achilles may be the Achilles because it is the only muscle in that area of the body. When it goes, you're gone.

    Katie recommended I get a raised toilet, a shower chair, and a cane. I pointed out I had my walking stick. The cane can handle more weight. The walking stick can collapse under enough pressure. That has happened to me. I started on the search for that equipment. I didn't want to add to the landfill if I didn't have to.

     I started by calling Memory Lane, a secondhand shop supporting hospice care. They could supply the cane, not the raised toilet seat or a shower chair. It is illegal to sell or even lend any equipment involving water. I remember trying to donate an air conditioner to Habitat. They couldn't take it. I started calling friends to see if anyone had this equipment. Then it occurred to me to contact TJ at the church. She doesn't work there; she is just devoted to service. I believe she was once a nurse. She took care of Fr. Lio's senile dad while he was living with him. Her generosity is off the charts. If anyone knew how to get these items without purchasing them, she would. Sure enough. Someone in the church has taken it upon herself to collect and store these items for precisely this purpose. She had two raised toilet seats, a shower chair, and a cane. I told her when I would need them, and she made a note. I will pick them up at the end of May.

   When I took Elsa on her evening walk, I saw Alexandra down the street walking Coleen. Aya was loose on the street, playing with her. I knew Aya shouldn't be out. I called Adam and Jazzy, but there was no answer. I walked with Alexandra to their door; it was clear they weren't home. I called Judy to tell her the problem. She confirmed that Adam and Jazzy were out. I recruited Alexandra to help get Aya back into the house. She was able to do it.

   Isaac stopped over. We talked and talked as we usually did. He said he had pulled up just as I walked into the driveway. He had spent considerable time talking to Alexandra on the street. I had connected the two because I was looking for age-appropriate companions for Isaac, who is terribly alone here. They indeed went for a hike together and enjoyed each other's company. They're two bright kids, both interested in science. Great! 

  Isaac shared a site on the 4 Bonding Styles; which one is yours? As he read the descriptions. I deeply responded to the Guardians, but not all of it- just one aspect: the need for togetherness. I loved family gatherings that affirmed our relationships. My sister didn't participate in these regularly. Her family always had to be asked if they were coming. They weren't "one of the usual suspects," as Mike liked to say. It says that Guardians object when people don't pull their weight at joint events. There was someone like that, but there are different ways of pulling your weight. As long as someone didn't isolate themselves, they were participating. 

   I sat on the lanai after Isaac left. A neighbor down below me was shooting off sky-born firecrackers. Elsa leaped on my lap. I had to put her down to clear the table and move to the other room to escape the sound. She wasn't too keen on that. When I got to my old lady's chair, she settled in my lap.   She really settled. I couldn't get rid of her. I couldn't type while she was there. I grabbed my Kindle and read. Elsa spent a good half hour on my lap. Is this a habit I want to cultivate? I couldn't get any writing done.

   The subject of men's sexuality versus women's came to mind. The general thought is that men are obsessed with sex. It's always on their minds. I remember being pretty exhausted by the sex drive in my younger days. I wondered if there is a difference in sex drive or if we perceive it differently. Men are sexual extroverts, literally. They wear their sexuality on the surface and share it with anyone. If they have a sexual response, good luck on not having everyone in sight of their crotch know about it. 

   Women are sexually introverted, literally. They don't get clear announcements when they are sexually responding. Their sexual responses can be hidden, not only from others but from themselves. Good luck to a guy if he wants to hide his sexual responses from himself and probably from others. 

    As socially extroverted people share their feelings more and become more aware of them, sexually extroverted people, men, have the same dilemma. Conversely, introverted people, sharing their feelings less with others, become less aware of their feelings just as women become less aware of their sexual feelings relative to men. Being aware of when a woman is turned on can mean being aware of tells with the skill of an experienced poker player.