Friday, April 1, 2022

 Friday, April 1, 2022

   In my update for last year on April 1, I commented on an increase in the number of visitors I had to my public blog. Instead of the zeroes, ones, and two I had been seeing, I saw fives, sixes, and sevens, with an occasional number close to one hundred. Now, my numbers were close to two hundred every day. This morning, my total number of visits was close to 45,000.

  I do Wordle daily. I put in three starter words to check on fourteen letters, ready, stomp, and quick. I usually get it on the fourth or fifth try. Today, I missed it altogether. The word was SNOUT. I got the s_ out on the fourth try. I ran into trouble because I didn't guess the correct missing letter. In this case, it was pure guesswork.   It could have been scout, shout, snout, spout, or stout. I guessed shout, spout, and stout.  

   I emailed Dr. Salassa yesterday to ask if she would determine if the bone length in the two legs was equal. I got my reply today. Yes, she would be taking an X-ray during the surgery. Did I think there was a difference? No, I didn't. I thought the apparent discrepancy was caused by my spinal curvature, throwing my hips out of alignment, not my leg length. I had a PT measure them with a tape measure and come up with the exact count. 

  I had my weekly appointment with Shelly. I cried my heart out today; my sobs sounded like laughter to her. She said, "I wish I was there with you." Unfortunately, that comment silenced my tears immediately. My mother couldn't stand me crying and made sure to shut me down as quickly as possible. I'm sure this was part of her PTSD. Besides that, Shelly and I indulged in an intellectual discussion on how people deal with differences. Shelly has been in the therapy business for over 40 years. She said she was seeing mental rigidity, the likes of which she had never seen before. I read that there is major social upheaval with every technological change. There was a social breakdown after the printing press was developed. The Bible was printed in people's native languages. This challenged the control of the Catholic church, the dominant social force at the time. We now have the Internet and universal phone access. We can get information on just about anything with the touch of a button. Anyone can post anything on the Internet. We can get a phone call from someone on the other side of the planet. What am I talking about? We regularly do get to speak to people in India and Africa. They provide support services or a scam.

    It rained almost every minute today. We had some prolonged downpours. I spent the day bingeing on Season 2 of Bridgeton. It's a wonderfully written and produced bodice ripper. It's also blistering anachronistic. It talks about people 'following their hearts" or "marrying for love." Really. I can see people of the time having an affair for love, but marrying? I doubt it.

   The cast is divergent. This was the first show I'd seen in the states with a mixed cast of people of the same social class. When I see TV shows from England, there are contemporary plots with diverse casts. Even for me, the impact was huge, and I went to interracial camps. That experience didn't make me the most 'woke,' but more so than if I hadn't. 

    Introverts conceal a lot about themselves. As an extrovert, I put it all out – as is. Someone said, "I'm different with different people." We all are- if we have any social skills. I see three reasons for self-modification: 1) we focus on hiding to protect ourselves from harm from others, and 2) we select what we show others to maximize connection. 3) we conceal information to protect others. Having made that list, I realized I don't hide to protect myself. My self-protection is the reveal. How does that work? Unless I'm dealing with a really crazy, it forces the other person to handle me with care. I put the burden on them. I've called it "throwing myself on the mercy of the court."  It's up there with, "Always relying on the kindness of strangers." We need all three filters; maybe there are more. 

   Yesterday, I wrote about how rescue dogs get depressed when they can't find live victims. If it was a human being getting depressed, I could imagine someone saying it's their ego talking. Do dogs have egos the way we do? If they don't, what motivates this response.