Tuesday, September 27, 2022

 Tuesday, September 27, 2022  

    One of my early morning walking buddies talked about the heavy rain last night. I asked her if it wasn't the night before last. No, she insisted it was last night. I checked with others because I hadn't heard of heavy rain last night. Everyone agreed; it had been the night before. The woman is about my age. I had become alert to signs of memory failure. I remember being young and concerned about being pregnant. Now, I worry about dementia. I see my memory lapses. I run into people on my walks, and I can't even remember seeing them before, and they say, "Hello, Betty. How is Elsa today?" Oh, dear.

  Back to my struggle with the definition of empathy: I have found various definitions. One differentiated between types of empathy, cognitive versus emotional. The prefix em- means to cause. So, something external causes pathos, which means passion or suffering. This does not mean that the person manifesting empathy cares about others. People respond to what they respond to.; i.e., babies and puppies one way, a dirty homeless person another. I know several people who are great empathizers if the other person is like them or agrees with them, but lousy when someone represents "the other.". There is nothing about having a capacity for empathy that precludes being cruel and enjoying another person's discomfort. One of my walking buddies describes himself as empathetic. I have seen the positive side of that. When he spoke to my five-year-old grandnephew, he was terrific, fully in tune with the boy. But this same man tells story after story of doing things that upset people for the sheer pleasure of it. He feels their discomfort; that's what gives him pleasure. This is a result of his empathetic nature. Empathy does not guarantee compassion.

         It was my second day of deep cleaning, thoroughly washing the tiled flooring on the south side of the house. I use my Bissell Crosswave wet/dry vac. Absolutely love it. I don't use it as instructed. Rather than use their cleaner dispenser suitable for damp mopping, I repeatedly pour gallons of water on my floors. I suck up the water with the Bissell until I see clear water in the collection container.

    I continued working with ninth-grade K on Raisin in the Sun. He couldn't even remember the relationships between the various family members, no less the more complicated aspects of the play. I didn't know what I was going to do. Where lay the problem?

  I called his mom after our session. I suggested he watch the movie. I noticed I was hyper. I didn't know where these mood shifts were coming from. I was feeling weirdly off-center.  

  I walked with Brian tonight, Lutz's son, without Lutz. Lutz was knocked out by the booster shot. I had my fourth shot and the flu shot at the same time and had no reaction. Not good. As I understand it, the worse the reaction, the better the person's immune system. I guess mine is shot.

  The dentist called. I wanted to discuss the necessity of the fifth extraction. Four of the teeth wouldn't make it in for five years. But the fifth was being removed to put in a four-tooth bridge. I wanted to know if he recommended that to save money (the bridge was cheaper than four posts, the other option) or because he thought the tooth would last only a short time. He said both. There was a 98% chance the posts would last the rest of my life. There is no 100% guarantee in this life. How long would the tooth last? He asked how much longer I anticipated living. I had to count on twenty more years. My mother lived until two weeks before her ninety-eighth birthday, and I was in better shape than she was at my age. "Oh," the dentist said. "Less than 5% chance of it lasting that long." I heard him say that applied to all my teeth. My paternal grandfather had lost all his teeth by thirty-five. Everyone else died with all their teeth. I inherited his teeth or his incredible sweet tooth. Either way, I have depended on dental care. Given what the dentist said, I decided to go ahead with the five extractions.

    I heard one of those Internet ads that go on forever like they're giving you information to conclude with an ad. Today, I found an ad claiming primitive people died with all their teeth intact. We were doing something wrong. Of course, one thing we were doing wrong was living beyond the age of thirty-five. The speaker blamed toothpaste, mouthwash, and dental care for our dental problems. My mother died at a very old age with all her teeth. She used toothpaste all her life so much for that theory. The ad was for probiotics.

  I continued working on Raisin in the Sun with ninth-grade K. His lack of recall for what he read was stunning. I spoke to his mother after the session. She reported not experiencing the blankness I was. I suggested she have him watch the movie. It was available for rent on Amazon. She thought of this as cheating. He should be reading the book. At the ninth-grade level, content is king. Basic reading comprehension, who's who, and where's where is assumed.

     I came across the name of the musical group Steely Dan today. I had been trying to remember the name of this group for the longest time. Then I'd forget I was trying to remember. I got into their sound when Mike and I visited Yvette and her ex-husband. He was playing the CD. The group has quite a catalog. Wow! Their music is mesmerizing. "Call me Deacon Blue" got stuck in my mind. Most annoying.