Thursday, October 5, 2023

 Thursday, October 5, 2023

      On the advice of a friend and a reminder that there are waiting lists for retirement communities, I took a tour of the high-end retirement community in Kailua Kona. When my mom moved in with Mike and me, the overt commitment was to allow her to die at home. Concerned there might come a time when she needed more medical support than we could arrange there, I researched nursing homes. I found a highly recommended one run by the Johnson Foundation. I signed her up. I got an annual renewal letter sent to a friend's address, so my mom never saw it. She would have freaked out, thinking I intended to drop her there immediately. For seventeen years, I returned the letter. In the eighteenth year, I reported her as dead. She must have been on the top of the list for the last ten years of her life.

   My tour guide was the same young woman I had met the day before when I made the appointment. When I told her my age, she was appropriately surprised. The eighty-two-year-olds in the community were in much worse shape. The environment seemed pleasant enough. The staff was very friendly to me and to the residents. I thought maybe I would be happier here than at home alone. When I got home, I realized my situation, as isolated as it may be I was much better than there. While the staff offered friendly greetings to the residents, the residents didn't greet each other. They all walked past silently. I get more greetings from people who drive by on my street on my walks. I often have long conversations with fellow walkers. While I don't have Bingo or movie night, I have contact with groups of people at church and at the community center, where I tutor. I could organize Bingo nights in my house with the neighbors. I have options that are closed to the residents of that community.

   A significant factor for me is the physical environment. In my home, I have intimate contact with nature. I can't even close off large sections of my house. In the residency, I would have a housekeeper come in once a week and get my meals in the dining room. Now, I have to tend to the property. There are weeds to be killed and plants to be trimmed. In the residency, that would be tended to by staff. However little I have to do now, there would be that much less.

    There's been an interesting development with Adolescent D. His mother forwarded an email to me from his special ed teacher. He took a reading test and tested on grade level, 10th grade. Last spring, he tested on the fifth-grade level in reading. That meant he made a five years growth. We were all excited. Then I checked the test, MAP. The test was taken online instead of with pencil and paper. I smelled a rat.

  I started to compliment D about his success. He hemmed and hawed. He hadn't read a word on the test; he used the audio function. When I asked why he did that, he said, "They didn't tell me not to." I asked him if he told his mom. Yes, he had.

  When I spoke to her, she told me he told her, "I cheated." The moment she told him how well he had done. His mom thinks he demeans his achievements is because he doesn't deserve success. He doesn't want people to know he can do the work. He doesn't want to deal with their expectations. This fits in with the rest of his behavior. He hides. I have been working with him for two and a half years; I still have yet to see his face in our Zoom meetings. He hides everything about himself.

  However, he tricked himself. These test results reveal he is on grade level in his auditory processing. He has good comprehension. I don't think he could have done this well two years ago. 

He would often zone out when working with me when he didn't understand what I said. He still has to tell the teachers the truth. They will base the upcoming IEP on the results of this test.

   I told him he has to tell his teachers what he did on that reading test, have the computer read the words to him. He had to do it because he is a moral person who doesn't want to lie to people and because it would skew his IEP. He may lose the considerations he relies on now. He gets extra time to complete the work.

  I tutored at Ulu Wini Community Center on Friday. When I arrived there, less than ten children were attending. I had a few children work with me. Most are very low functioning, one to three years behind their grade level. I had two or three who couldn't name all the letters in the alphabet. I had one third grader read correctly up through first grade, but she decoded every word. There was no automatic processing. These kids do not know how to use memory. They have no sight words. Sight words are high-frequency words, some of which do not follow the phonics rules. Come and some are examples of those words. By the phonics rule, the o in both words should be a long /o/. In both words that o is pronounced like the short relaxed /u/, as the a in the word ahead. There are rules that determine this. Learning all the possible rules of English phonics is a Ph.D. course. We need to rely on students figuring it out independently and memorizing the words.

   Some students at the community center have speech problems; some just follow the teacher's instructions and figure out each word. That slows down their word recognition and makes them sound like bad readers.

  One little girl looked like a preschooler. She wanted me to help her. After two minutes, I could see she was cognitively damaged. She was the worst case I've ever seen. The other kids in the class pointed to bruises on her. She gets bullied at school. I can believe it. I think of her as weird. When I spoke to Josephine, the social worker at the center, she said this child was medically fragile at birth. I don't know if she was a premie or had other problems. She spent most of her early years in and out of the hospital. I'm not sure there is much I can do with her. She needs much special attention from someone who knows what they're doing. Wait a minute! Luke, Judy's very disabled grandson, got treatment from a service in town. The wife of the church music director works for that program. I'll look into it.

  I saw ninth-grade L again. She seeks me out the moment she gets off the bus. She reported that she understood more about the characters in something she read in school that day. I love it when the kids respond quickly. I'm good for the long, dragged-out process; I have the patience. But I do love it when there's a quick fix.

  I finally have satisfaction with one of the Twins, Twin A. She is reading independently on a second-grade level and on an instructional level on a third-grade level. This puts her one year behind her grade level, fourth. Twin E is not doing as well. She is struggling at a high first-grade level. Mama K reports Twin A is doing her homework independently while Twin E requires constant help. When I started working with the girls, they struggled to learn the alphabet. Twin E was way ahead of Twin A. Now, she is way behind. I asked Twin A about the reading instruction she is getting in school. She reported their reading class consists of them getting a book and reading it independently. Both girls are special ed. So sad. Most teachers don't have a clue how to teach reading.