Sunday, April 14, 2024

Sunday, April 14, 2024

 

  Last night, as I was preparing for bed, I heard a super loud coqui right outside my bedroom. I went out to see if I could locate him. Yes, it was a him. Only the males make that incredible racket. I had planned to leave the sliding door to the yard open as it was getting warmer. That noise made it out of the question. I thought to do something about it.

   I went to the closet to look for the gadget I bought to spread the baking soda, which kills the frogs. It wasn't in the closet. I went out to the shed. I couldn't find it there, either. I got the bag of baking soda from the closet, chopped it into the compacted powder, scooped it out, and threw it where I thought the coqui was perched. I don't know if I got it, but I wasn't disturbed for the rest of the night. I slept peacefully until the alarm went off.  

   I experienced no negative thoughts upon waking about the coqui or anything else. Wow! This is a first since Mike died. I don't know how much I did this while he was alive. I know I wasn't free of it, but I don't think I did it as much. I felt safe, nestled in the protective embrace of the relationship.

  I had a session with third-grade M. We continued reading Stuart Little. She is doing very well. I asked her if she was doing better in school. She said yes. I asked her if she understood what others said better. Also, yes. I suspect she doesn't need my help academically anymore. I asked her how much she enjoyed our sessions. She gave it a 7 out of 10. I'm more concerned about her psychologically now than academically. Her older sister has turned into a superstar, getting straight As in a challenging private school. Her mother is a very critical person. Her dad is an insecure bundle of nerves. It won't initiate the termination of our relationship. I'll wait till her mom or dad does so.

  I heard Steve Peters talk on Steve Bartletts's podcast. I ordered his book, The Chimp Paradox, on Audible. I was interested because he talks about the different 'minds' in our brains. He's interested from a psychiatric point of view. I am, too, but I am also interested in it from a cognitive point of view. How do we learn? What is the role of the different parts of our brain? How do we remember? How much is the conscious mind, and how much is the unconscious.

   I find his interpretation of the brain and our identity unsatisfactory. He calls our rational mind the human one, the one that accurately represents the person as they truly are. The 'chimp' mind, the emotional mind, is an intrusion. 

     I don't agree with him. His interpretation makes Spock the only true human on the Enterprise. My emotional mind is mine just as much as the rational mind of the prefrontal lobe. He does say while the chimp mind isn't 'our' true mind, we are responsible for its actions. He speaks of it as something not us, more like a dog we own or a child we're raising. We are responsible for the actions driven by the 'chimp' mind, but not the thoughts it produces. I see my emotional mind as just as much of me as my rational prefrontal lobe mind. The various parts of my mind work together to create 'me.' They are all parts of me, devoted to my survival and/or the survival of my genes. Saying the emotional brain is 'not the real me' is like saying if two authors co-write a book, only one can be the 'real' writer. The various aspects of my mind need to negotiate a relationship that works clearly for my benefit. Everything I do impacts others to some degree or another.

   My dad raised me with that notion; I was responsible to some limited degree for everything on the planet. We all were. We impact everything. Nowadays, people talk about connecting with everyone as a spiritual realization. Most view it as just beneficial for themselves. They feel connected. I don't hear many talk about it as my dad did. With that connection was responsibility. If everything I do affects others, everything I become is for others as well as myself. They say people who live feeling connected to the larger universe are happier. I don't know if that is true. It certainly wasn't for me as I was growing up.

    As I grew up, I felt the weight of that responsibility. I wasn't raised in a culture where that philosophical position was the norm. No, I was pretty much alone with it. I didn't have a good perspective. I had to develop that.

    My dad also taught me that everyone does things for 'selfish' reasons. That was a hard one to digest, too. But I understand it now. While everyone does things to benefit themselves, 'good' people value the well-being of others as well as themselves. I venture even those who die for another do it for themselves. It is what they need to do. They couldn't live with themselves if they did otherwise. Some people couldn't care less about the wellbeing of others. I pity them. It can't be a happy way to live.

    I hear all human beings need a purpose in life; benefitting others and having children are the most common ones. There are other objectives, like climbing Everest. Not my thing.

   In another podcast, Stephen Bartlett interviewed someone who argued most heart conditions are caused by eating processed food. I hear that a lot. It's not that I disagree; I'm not sure what constitutes processed food. The speaker said anything that does not come to the table as it came from nature. The speaker said the rise of heart disease dates from the introduction of processed food. But what is it? Isn't cooking and seasoning a form of processing? I'm sure the speaker didn't mean that, but what does he mean? Spaghetti has been around forever. Bread? Neither offers the ingredients the way they came out of the ground. Of course, hot dogs, Doritos, and soda are all clearly no-nos. There must be a continuum.