Mike's death; Betty's life...

Friday, January 23, 2026

Tuesday, November 16, 2021

I had a restless night's sleep. I wrote an article about the Rittenhouse trial in my head. I may yet write it. I worried about calling Brian and telling him I was concerned about the system he installed; it looked like the WIFI wouldn't cover the footprint of the house. The third issue was my misplaced TB result at the middle school. If it hadn't shown up in two months, what are the chances they'll find it? More significantly, what are the chances they will call me to tell me they can't find it? How long will the principal wait? It's already been one month since I handed in the last series of forms in the application process. I resolved to call Kaiser to see if I could get another copy. I finally fell asleep.

I didn't worry about the presentation I agreed to make on The Phonics Discovery System on Wednesday to a group of tutors. Some wrote me and called it a presentation. Yikes! I was thinking of something more informal, like my reading office hours. I don't want to do the presentation I did originally; I think I can do a better job. It's amazing how my thoughts become clearer as I teach and present the ideas to others.

There were two new students at yoga this morning while the regulars weren't there. Rather than have my knees more evenly lined up, I was more lopsided than usual.

I called Kaiser to see if I could get a copy of the TB results. Sure, just go to the registration desk; they'll print one out for you. I got an envelope from my card stash. I picked out a Merry Christmas card with Santa on it and wrote on the envelope: Duplicate copy of TB result for Betty David-Ross.

Then I called Brian, saying I wanted to talk to him before he did any more work. I would be free after 3:30 pm. He said okay, and we hung up. He called me back right away, asking if we could talk now. The problem was not with the WIFI strength; the problem was with the objects he wanted to connect. Their security protection wasn't strong enough to handle the system he installed. Ah! I thought guests wouldn't be able to get WIFI in the far reaches of the house. That would be a problem. Hardwiring the solar system is okay. That will be there forever. However, if, when, I want to move my printer, what will happen then. I supposed I could make a hard connection between the printer and the computer, but I don't know how to do that either.

Brian called me back immediately, asking if we could talk now. I told him my concern. He explained the problem wasn't with the reach of the WIFI; the problem had to do with the internet security. The printer and the solar monitoring systems either had too high a security setting or too low for his system. It must be too low. He said one of the reasons people get his system is because it offers a high-security level. Not something I feel I need. I'm the weakest link in my security, allowing anyone access. Great. They could come whenever they wanted to hardwire whatever they wanted. They arrived around 2 and did their work. I went to sign on to Zoom for my 3 pm appointment. No internet access. I called Brian immediately. Because he lived down the block, he was over in a few minutes. I was glad for having missed the appointment; I was exhausted. Brian fixed the problem and left.

While they were here, I asked Tommy what I could do if I wanted to move the printer to another room. Could I hardwire the connection between the printer and the computer? I had some vague memory of doing that, but it was so long ago. Yes, I can get a printer cable. Ah, yes, I remember it well.

Instead of watching more of Offspring tonight, I watched a documentary on Bob Fosse. I love his choreography. I have watched several videos about him and his dance.

Monday, November 15, 2021

Every morning, that weird feeling comes over me. It is my heart that feels weird. Since I have no other symptoms, I think it is loneliness and grief. My leg persisted in being annoying. As I worked on editing and posting on the blog site this morning, I finally applied the acupuncture pen to the muscles on the outside of my left thigh. Bingo! The pain disappeared. I have been putting off that treatment approach for days.

The weather forecast said heavy rain for yesterday. Not a drop. Well, maybe a drop. Isaac texted me to say he felt a few as he walked. That was it. Apparently, Hilo got hit hard but not the rest of the island. We are in a drought. This is scary. Judy shared her concerns for all our wild animals. We have wild goats, pigs, sheep, turkeys, pheasants, and of course, birds. Many of these animals live on my blocks. My niece, Karin, said it sounds like I live in a nature preserve. Close. I live in Hawaii, where nature is valued above all else.

Judy said she put water out for the turkeys that come on her property. I found a lidded plastic container, put it on the edge of the empty lot next to us, and filled it with water. We have two pigs who live there. I also put out a shallow bowl for the birds. I figured the container was too deep for them. I carried water to the spot in a Home Depot orange bucket.

I had an online math workshop through the Step Up Tutoring program presented by the LAUDS. I love learning about the current strategies for teaching math. It combines so many of the previous attempts to revise math teaching, incomplete attempts in their thinking. What I am hearing now makes sense to me.

In the middle of the Zoom session, the sky opened- finally, and we got some rain. Not nearly enough, but some. I could hear Yvette celebrating downstairs. I called to her that I knew what caused the rain. Well, obviously, it was because I put water out for the animals. I’ll leave it out there. One short cloud burst won’t remedy the impact of two weeks without any rain.

I called the local middle school to see what was happening with my application. I was asked to apply; they needed someone to tutor adolescent D in their name. It was their legal responsibility. It wouldn’t make much difference to D; there would be no change in his tutoring schedule. It would relieve his mom of some financial burden. I had already called twice to see what was happening. I left at least one voicemail for the principal. Nothing. No response. Today, I got through to the principal. She told me what was holding up my application; she hadn’t received my TB test results. I handed that in on September 16. The principal called me to say I needed it; I made an appointment immediately; I was poked on September 14, did the follow-up on September 16, and drove the results to the school directly. No, I’m not upset that they misplaced it. That’s understandable. I don’t get why someone didn’t answer my calls to tell me what was going on. Now, I have to worry it will be another month before they tell me they can’t find the original. Maddening! I couldn’t resist calling the principal back and giving her the exact date I had handed it in. I’m turning into a spiteful person. This is what my mother was like. When her nerves were raw, she struck out at others; hurt begets hurt.

It’s a day of endless frustration. I called the woman from the inlay company. I was supposed to receive an email from the company telling me if they could do the inlay on the piece of granite I already had or if I needed a larger piece. Nothing. I called the dingbat in the sales. Nothing. I will have to track her down. Yikes!

I called Spectrum to cancel their service. Hearing I was quitting, the special offers flowed like water running downhill. I have no idea if I’ve done better with this new service or not. It was expensive to install. The monthly expense isn’t that bad. It will take 26 months of reduced bills before I see the financial benefit of this system. Hopefully, I will see an improvement in the connectivity. Either way, the owner is a family friend of Judy, and he lives right down the street. Breathe!

Rather than clean the broken screens, I thought it was time to get them repaired. One screen was broken when a bird flew into it and bent the frame. The other one just has a tear in it. The shop said I had to bring them in. I hoped Scott o bring me plastic sheets to hang over the unprotected areas when the screens are out. I will also need help getting them down and into a car, either mine or Adam’s truck.

I called Hawaiian solar because I needed help reconnecting my solar panel monitoring system to the Internet. Enphase sent me an email telling me that I was no longer connected. I finally got hold of the company. They told me I had to do something to the envoy. Envoy? I had to call the company to find out what and where it was. Beth gave me some directions, but I couldn’t find it.

I wanted to print the instructions Enphase emailed me, but I couldn’t get the printer to connect. Ah! Right. I had new Internet service, everything had to be connected again. I had this problem when Sandor modified my service with the eero system. I texted Brian to tell him I had a problem. They said they would stop by at the end of their day.

My niece in Seattle texted me. “Oops! I thought you were settled for Thanksgiving. You’re welcome to join us.” Right. I find traveling further than four blocks from the house a challenge. Going to Seattle sounds like my vision of hell. Besides the travel, I would have to stay in a hotel room by myself. No, no, and no. I made it clear to Jean, my hanai sister, that I wouldn’t come to New Jersey if I had to stay in a hotel. It’s never been my favorite. Without Mike, alone in a hotel room. Impossible.

Brian and Tommy came over to deal with everything that needed to be connected to the Internet. They worked for quite a while and had no success. They announced they would be back tomorrow and hard wire everything. Huh? It took a while for me to register the possible significance of what he was saying. I thought I was getting a more powerful system, and now I learned it wasn’t strong enough to cover the footprint of my house. I had to speak to them before they proceeded with hardwiring my printer and my solar monitoring systems.

I continued watching Offspring. It was a catchup show. Everyone had a different hairdo. The siblings had let their hair grow out, and their mom had hers cut. There were changes in castings. Characters that were in play to become main characters were being dropped. They had to give them exit excuses. All this was handled in this one show. It was reasonably well done but obvious.

Saturday, November 13, 2021

I was still emotionally off my pins. I preferred to be alone than with someone; other people irritated me. It was concerning because I feel impatient with my students. This started before Damie canceled for Christmas. Damie canceling made it worse; I think that's just a trigger. I believe the death of the partner of one of the main characters on Offspring (I don't want to give it away) also triggered me. I identified with the main female character. Not with her good characteristics, just her neurosis.

Darby called to tell me everything was going well. They had arrived in time. They operated on Patrick that afternoon, removing a cookie-sized piece of skin from his back. He was not in pain at that time; painkillers were doing their job. They are staying at a free facility provided by the American Cancer Society. She said the place was amazing. If the surgical work could have been done on the Big Island, they would have gone home. Going back and forth didn't make sense because they have to see the doctor every two days and then have plastic surgery on Patrick's back next week. Going from where we live to Oahu isn't a short drive; it's a plane ride. There's no other way of getting there. It would have been both more expensive and more stressful to go back and forth.

Darby told me that once they had checked in at the Hawaiian Airlines Terminal and checked their carrying on luggage, they had to walk back to the other terminal to go through the TSA check. They may have consolidated the TSA to one terminal because they don't have enough employees.

I had the W and M sisters. W had an early morning online interview with a private school she is applying to. Mom and M were holed up in the girls' bedroom. I did fifteen minutes using the phonics Discovery System method to the second-grade work. Then we switched to writing another story. M is not very imaginative yet. She wanted to retell a story from a book she was reading.

I went through several paragraphs at the 6th grade level with W. She reads okay and answers the comprehension question with ease, but she feels so heavy while doing the work. When I asked her how she felt about it from a rate of 1 to 10, she said a two. Wow! that is low. Again, I felt exhausted. I thought this was the grief weighing me down, but I don't feel that way working with adolescent D at this point. That's a joy. He has come so far. Once he starts doing this work on his own, I know I can stop worrying about him. He will learn how to read with me or without me.

In my session with him today, I saw him grasping the 'word family' units spontaneously. His nonconscious processing is happening. He still has problems remembering rules consciously.

He had an interesting insight. He said his reading was better because he was paying attention. Some of his inattention is D's tendency to remove himself from difficult situations. However, I would argue that teaching students what to pay attention to is precisely what all phonics training is about, particularly The Phonics Discovery System.

I took a quick nap after I was finished with D. Then I went off for an ozone injection, a follow-up treatment for the stem cell transplant I had last January. Driving there, my eyes crossed so badly I had trouble seeing the road. I had been noticing that my vision was getting worse. I thought the problem was with the lens in each eye. I now suspect it is a problem with the lazy eye blurring my vision.

All treatments with the stem cell doctor require injecting a large needle into my hip joints; the needle isn't so bad, actually. What hurts is the injected material putting pressure on surrounding tissue. This time it hurt differently. (This was my second or third ozone injection.) It affected the muscles around the hips. Is this a good sign, or did he just miss the correct spot for the injection?

I was fine after the treatment and drove up the street to Costco to get my tires inflated. The warning light had been on for a while. I hadn't had a chance to stop off. I love Costco's service. I pull up in front of the bays and wait for someone to come out and fill my tires. It's lovely.

Then I drove to town to go to Long's to pick up the subscription for a combination pain killer and antibiotic the dentist had prescribed. I also wanted to pick up some other items. The pharmacy had nothing for me and no record of anything called in. On my way home, I called the dentist's office and told them. I asked them to send the prescription to Kaiser; it was closer to my house.

I tried to review Mike's files from his laptop. Tommy had put all the files on an external drive. He wanted me to check the files to make sure nothing had been missed before he cleaned the internal hard drive. I couldn't open the file. I texted Tommy, telling him my problem. He gave me directions; forget it. He will have to give me explicit directions. Once that is done, I have to figure out how to get the computer over to Mama K on the Hilo side.

I did manage to wash Elsa today. I skipped last week. I wondered what would happen. I found out; she had a lesion on her belly this morning. If this bath doesn't clear it up, I'll have to give her a second one this week.

I asked Judy if we could include Isaac in her Thanksgiving celebration. It wasn't going to be just family. So far, she had twelve adults and three kids, one who would not be sharing in the main meal. She said fine. Next, I made the offer to Isaac. Once I learned he was living here alone, I was concerned about him. I told him if he got an offer from someone in his church to think nothing of joining that family. The poor kid is twenty-one, and this is the first time he is on his own. He thought he should be fine with this; I let him know this was a difficult transition. He is one of four kids, a twin no less. He went from school to college, and now this. He said he assumed he would meet people his own age to hang out with. I'm it. However, he did just spend an afternoon with a family with two kids in his age range. So far, no follow-up.

When I extended the invitation to him, there was some residency. He had a friend who was flying in on Thanksgiving Day. I had to check with Judy if another adult was doable at her table. When I called her, she wasn't so sure it would work. She was going to think about it. I was no longer as concerned. Isaac wouldn't be alone.

Friday, November 12, 2021

I had to get up earlier than usual this morning. I had to get Elsa out to relieve herself before I drove Darby and Patrick to the airport. Since Elsa loves to ride in the car, and I wasn’t going to get out of the car leaving her alone, I took her with me. Otherwise, she only gets to ride in the car for trips to the vet. I was perfectly on schedule. They were not. Of course, my prep was nothing compared to theirs. They had to pack for a two-week stay on Oahu. They were still packing when I arrived. They’re not used to traveling.

As we approached the airport, Darby announced that they had to go to a newly set up central TSA point instead of one located in their terminal. The Kona airport isn’t huge. There are two terminals within easy walking distance from each other. As we approached the first one, which was not for Hawaiian Airlines, their carrier, we could see lots of activity. I suggested they get out and check. Darby was sitting in the front seat and hopped out. Patrick was in the back behind me. He tried to open the door, but the child protection prevented him. When I managed to unlock his door, he jumped out to follow Darby. I assured him I wouldn’t leave until they were where they had to be. Patrick’s nervousness reminded me of Mike. He greeted the news of the melanoma with optimism. “We will beat this. No worries” On the other hand, he was so nervous about making the plane on time that he couldn’t sit still and let Darby get the information on her own. The word was they had to go to the second terminal. It did look barren. When they were unloaded, I drove home.

While my leg felt almost normal the other day, it was bothering me again today. When it felt good, it felt like my legs were of equal strength. I ran into a walker that I recognized from someplace else. I asked her if she was a Bikramite. A what? No, she knew me from the local elementary school. She was a teacher and recognized me from when I volunteered with the third grade. She commented that I looked younger. That was a surprise since she hasn’t seen me in at least two years, and I’m about to turn 81. I figured she had never seen me in shorts before.

Adolescent D continued his good work. He may be reading on grade level, 8th grade, by the end of the year. He was beginning to recognize that his reading had improved and continues to do so.

I had a session with the M & W sisters. I challenged W with new material. I switched to Barnell Loft paragraphs on the 2nd-grade level. So far, I have avoided challenging her. Her insecurity and self-judgment were crippling. Today, she did fairly well.

With W, I worked on her hatred of the work. I’m trying to get her to realize that she has to change her feelings about the work, or she will be facing 7 and a half years of hell. Her story didn’t require a lot of editing. I needed to be divided into paragraphs. I had her read the story to herself and give me suggestions. Her ideas paralleled mine. When I told her how well she was doing, she said, “This is easy.” All we had to do on her story was determine paragraphing. She did a great job. I was exhausted after our session.

A friend called last night. He told me his teenage grandson planned to get a job. There were seven in the family, and they were short on money. My friend said he heard the boy’s stepfather was not bringing any money home even though he worked. Huh? I hope this information is wrong. Three of the children are his.

Thursday, November 11, 2021

I had to get ready for my PT with Katie right after yoga. On my way there, I passed a truck pulling into a driveway. He immediately stopped and pulled back out. Yikes! Fortunately, I wasn't right on top of him and was going slowly; otherwise, I would have had another accident at 5 mph. Legally, this one would have been my fault, too.

Katie did an incredible job on me. She has healing hands. Wherever she touches, heat radiates. She said everyone tells her she has hot hands, but they don't feel warm to her. I recognize that heat comes from energy. She said this gift showed up when she moved to Hawaii; she had never had it before. Weird, uh?

She told me that I was more balanced than she had ever seen me before when we started. As I sat, my weight was more equally distributed between my hips. It's the spinal curvature that is one of the things that keeps me from going from THR. I'm concerned the surgeons won't take it into consideration. They will lock me into it, limiting my options for the rest of my life, or, worse, just fixing one problem to make another worse. I see them as having a very narrow focus.

Katie worked on my back and then manipulated my limbs. I still felt stressed. I have been emotionally off my pins. I said I felt like screaming. It wouldn't have been appropriate at the rehab center, but I could hear myself screaming in my head. That can be as good if not better than doing it out loud.

Someone came to mind that I have a difficult relationship with. To boot, she did something hurtful to Mike. I did the release exercise, releasing anything to do with my craving and aversion for my feelings about her. As I find every time, I found that when I do the opposite from the obvious release, in this case, the craving, I learn something new. My connection with this woman is deeply unhealthy; it's weird. We really hate each other. Good thing we have no contact. This is something I have to heal on my end, with or without renewing the relationship. It's definitely unhealthy for me. Since I believe in the interconnectedness of all things, I also think it's harmful to her. I can't do much about her feelings for me. I can only do what I can do. I went home and spent some time sleeping in the sun. I figured it would do its healing thing.

Tommy and Brian came over to fix the Internet connection. Weirdly, Yvette called to say Spectrum had called her to say the Internet was out in our area yesterday when I was having this problem. As it turned out, my problem had nothing to do with Spectrum's failure. My Internet was now running off Brian's business account, which is more stable than the personal one. The boys still had to come and fix whatever was wrong with my connection.

I had additional questions for the boys. One was could the blue light emanating from the Internet transmitter in my hallway outside my bedroom be switched off? No problem. Ah! I also needed help with the phone locator app Tommy put on my computer. I had misplaced my phone the other day. I tried the app but couldn't figure out how to make it work. When he did show me, I was disappointed. I thought the app would show me exactly where the phone was. But no, it only showed the phone was somewhere on my street. By the way, I found the phone in my car. I had moved it in preparation for driveway yoga in the morning. My phone slips out of my shorts pocket when I sit in the car. I also asked Tommy if he could move the sofa back. I had him pull it out for me the other day to clean the screens behind it.

I had third-grade A reading at the very beginning of third-grade material. When I started with him, he was reading at a low Kindergarten level. Now, it is time to work on multi-syllable words. Again, he fought me when I told him to do something physical to help him figure something out. I wanted him to put his hand under his chin to feel the bounces as he said a word to figure out how many syllables were in a word. He doesn't want to do anything he hasn't seen his classmates do; he wants to look normal. A is aware that he's not normal; his parents deny anything is different about him. Neurologically atypical children, which I believe A is, need to be taught how to behave typically. They don't arrive at that on their own. The earlier instruction starts, the better. I have had two conversations with the parents where I have tried to broach the subject. I recommended that he get a medical evaluation. I suspect his parents are the only ones who don't get it. These are two highly intelligent educated people. Denial comes at all levels. I have been wanting Judy to look at this kid and see if she agrees with me. The boy drives me nuts with his effect. If we were all open about it, I could work with it, but that's not an option.

Adolescent D is making incredible leaps. This dramatic increase in his rate of improvement started when he has been listing to the YouTube video/audio file, The Phonics Discovery System, Five Stories. Listening to it trains his auditory perception. Now, he reads ahead; he reads any part of a word he can; he remembers most small words and often remembers rules. Even when he doesn't remember a rule, he responds when I cue him. I asked him if he saw the difference. He said no, he always read like that. I told him he tested at the first and second-grade levels before I started working with him. If he could read better, why didn't he? He said he didn't know. I'd suspect a serious mental problem; except I know of the apex effect. It leaves people thinking they haven't made any changes.

Wednesday, November 10, 2021

My first appointment for the day was with the acupuncturist. She did fantastic, deep work on the whole left side of my back. I was going to do some work on the screen cleaning project before leaving for my hairdresser appointment. I was too wiped. I lay down for the half-hour, trying to recoup. I was so relaxed I felt undone. I believed whatever happened was good, but I needed time to recover.

I was going to stop and do some chores after the haircut. While I was physically comfortable, I wasn’t my usual self. Forget that! I headed home as quickly as possible for a short nap before my 2 pm appointment with Mama K’s crew. Because of some road work on Ali’I, it took me twice as long to get home. I could have avoided that route for a faster one, but I got a view of the ocean on that route. The stopped traffic worked in my favor. I got to watch the waves roll in and out.

After signing in for Mama K’s crew, I got a text telling me she had to cancel. She had a parent-teacher conference. Yes, I would have preferred being told ahead of time, but I am usually home. Today, I was relieved. I almost thought of canceling myself. I needed rest. I went down for a long one.

Today, when I spoke to Jean, my friend in Arizona, she told me her mom was being moved to hospice. She was pulling out tubes and refusing food. She had had it.

I got a call from someone doing a survey. It sounded authentic. I was on the alert for any requests for personal information. It was on the up and up. The closest she got to personal was to ask me what island I lived on. The questions let me know the bias of the survey. She asked my opinion on the impact of tourism on Hawaii. The survey’s bias was clearly opposed to unlimited tourism. Tourism has an effect on local culture and moreover the environment.

While I was on the phone with her, I called Scott and asked him if he could stop by and help me with something. The sprayer I had been using to wash the screens broke. I dropped it; the valve popped out and fell apart. I couldn’t put it back together again. Fortunately, I already had a second. I bought it because the plunger on the first one stopped working. When I opened the new one, I realized all I needed was its working plunger. The new one has been patiently sitting around for at least half a year. I had trouble assembling it, getting the hose connected.

A clear tube goes inside the container, connecting through an opening on the side to the hose dispenser. You have to stick the clear internal hose into the external connection and screw a washer on the outside onto the opening. I couldn’t do it for love or money. Every time I tried, the clear hose came loose. I read the directions and applied Vaseline to the end, expecting it to move freely in the opening of the external connection as I screwed it onto the container. I couldn’t do it. Scott did it easily.

I complained to adolescent D’s mother that I hadn’t spoken to his teachers. I talked to one briefly. We planned to make arrangements to talk again, and she ghosted me. I didn’t say anything critical to her. The only thing I can think of is I was overly enthusiastic about some of his developments.

The young woman who contacted me today left me in despair. No, she wasn’t doing any reading with him; she was reading everything to him. She was doing math and science with him. This young woman stayed late on Wednesdays to help adolescent D to complete his work. I can understand why she doesn’t want to spend time helping him with his reading. It would take too much time. However, she could have him read the words he can with her supplying those he can’t. She could have him point to the words while she reads the material out loud. She said she was teaching him some scientific terms. If she just points to a word and says, “This is - - - -.” She might as well not be doing anything.

She also said he had trouble with basic math. I asked with number sense or operations. No, with the multiplication facts. Adolescent D has problem with all associative recall. I must have repeated, “the final y at the end of a long word is generally pronounced like a long e thirty to forty times before he could recall it. D will need to use a calculator or learn alternative ways of doing multiplication.” She did say she was seeing an improvement in his handwriting. I didn’t work on that. I assumed he had since no one was helping him with any of his other skills. I didn’t behave my best. I am sure I pissed her off. I had a terrible reaction to all she had to say.

At 5:30, I was ready to take a long walk. I had fallen behind in my step count for the day. I thought to call Isaac to join me. We enjoy each other’s company. No, this is not a romantic possibility. He is all of 23. We really just enjoy talking. While our backgrounds are very different, our style of thinking is the same.

He brought up the topic of the Rittenhouse trial. He listened to Rittenhouse’s full testimony. From what he heard, it does seem that he was pursued and cornered by several people who, accordioning to Rittenhouse, were threatening to kill him. Those were their words. Isaac and I went back and forth, making opposing points. Isaac seemed to be favoring Rittenhouse’s position while I argued anyone walking around with a high-powered firearm is asking for it. Afterward, I realized we were talking at cross purposes. I was referring to a moral responsibility; he was focused on the legal outcome. I’m for gun control. I feel anyone walking around bearing a gun is asking for trouble. I have that bias. I assume someone with a gun is itching to use it.

On the other hand, I have friends who are hunters. Of course, they don’t walk around downtown Kona flashing their firearms. However, if Rittenhouse’s version of the story is true, the other guys weren’t innocent; they were threatening to kill this kid.

As I have said on another occasion, I like to view the situation with alternate characters. I’m a Black Lives Matter champion- no, not over anyone else’s. I think it should be All Lives Matter- including Black Ones. That would be a better slogan. I definitely feel blacks are targeted more than whites for similar actions. Here’s a scenario to consider. A young black man goes to a rally bearing arms for his protection. He finds himself isolated, surrounded by a group of young men who proceed to corner him, threaten him and make an attempt to grab his gun. The young black man fires and kills two white men and injures a third. Is it self-defense, or should he be prosecuted for murder? What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Unfortunately, the black man wouldn’t get the same courtesy in most American courts. In there lies the problem. However, does that mean Rittenhouse should be prosecuted as a black man would be? Isn’t the argument that black people are treated too harshly? Many, myself included, would love to see the lifestyle values Rittenhouse represents on trial. But does that mean this young man should be the sacrificial lamb? Would charging him with murder change that culture? Worse yet, would it be legal?

I don’t know if the judge is biased or not. I know that he objected when the prosecution asked Rittenhouse why he was so heavily armed; what was his intent? That’s like asking a woman what her intent was when she walked down a street scantily dressed and was raped. Was Rittenhouse fired by his testosterone and his adolescent sense of nobility to defend and protect “America?” Possibly, but is that what he was doing at the moment he was attacked? If there is a black youth with a rock in his hand, do we argue we had a right to charge him with murder because he could have used it to kill someone?

I’m scared to death about the outcome of this trial. Thank God the boys who were shot and killed weren’t black. Oh, boy. Dylan Roof is going to get what he wants. He must be so happy.

Tuesday, November 9, 2021

When I got up in the middle of the night, I noticed a light coming from the living room/kitchen area. I checked and discovered a blue light coming from the apparatus Brian and Tommy had installed with had something to do with the new Internet connection they established. I like it to be as dark as possible. This was not going to work for me. If there wasn't a way to shut the light down, I wanted to know how to switch off the Internet connection when I needed to. I don't need it in the middle of the night as a rule.

One of the many wonderful things about living on the Big Island is the darkness at night. While I live in a section with streetlights, they are yellow to prevent light pollution that would interfere with the telescopes on top of Mauna Kea. When I go out in the driveway at night, I can see a sky full of stars, unless the vog is too bad. Love it.

When I woke this morning, the sore tooth that started bothering me the night before was still active. Is this from a sinus infection, or do I have an infected tooth? I massaged the acupuncture points under the chin bone. That usually works to relieve pain if it is a sinus condition. The points felt sore, but the massage didn't relieve the toothache.

As I walked, I could feel the breeze on my tooth. Hmm! That suggested an infected tooth instead of an infected sinus. Then I could taste something strange. I had dialed the dentist's office earlier just to find out when they would be in. Now, I dialed it to leave a message. Susan answered the phone; it was 6 am. She could give me an appointment for 1:30. That was all she had available. It meant canceling one of my tutoring appointments. Could she give me another time? She proposed something on Thursday. "Oh, no. I'm coming in today."

As I walked, I heard a snorting noise behind me. Was this coming from one of the dogs in the fenced-in property? No. Was it a pig out at this hour of the morning? They are nocturnal animals; that would be a cause for concern. I turned around to check. Ha! Ha! It was Vince out to scare me. Julie wasn't with him. He said her arthritis was bothering her. I have to talk to her about this.

While my new Internet connection worked last night, I couldn't get it to work this morning. I texted Brian immediately to tell him. He said they would be over when they finished something. Then yoga started.

I started approaching how I'm doing the yoga slightly differently. I watched a series on Netflix called Move. It's a series featuring dancers of different sorts. The first was about two young men who were bringing hip hop to the concert stage. The second was about an Israeli dancer who taught the importance of listening to your body. He based his choreography on this principle. While he choreographed a movement, he expected his dancers to vary the movement following what felt best in their own bodies. This is radically different from what you see in classical ballet, where everyone wants to look just like everyone else. He called the principal Gaga, having nothing to do with the lady of the same name.

What captured my attention was his instruction to find what movement gave you the most pleasure. One of the dancers said it was a way of healing the body. I applied the principle in yoga today, listening to my body differently than I had before. Hopefully, it will help promote healing in my body.

After class, when I mentioned the principal to Yvette, she thought I said to follow pleasure in your body to "avoid pain." No trained athlete works to just avoid pain, babying a damaged area. They all know the difference between "good pain" and "bad pain."

After yoga, I continued the conversation with Brian and Tommy about the Internet problem. Tommy texted to say he had come over, but the gate was closed. Just as well, he didn't come in. It would have seriously disturbed the class, which we all value. Tommy texted he would come by later in the day to fix the problem. According to their information, I had an Internet connection. I told them I couldn't get my server to open my account. I could get along for most of the day without service, but I had an appointment at three. I asked them when they would be back. Did I have to cancel my appointment? I had their account listed. Brian sent me their password to use temporarily.

I spent the morning catching up on Updates, napping, and getting in my 10,000 steps.

I had a 1:30 appointment with the dentist. As I left, I felt a heart connection between Elsa and me for the first time. Periodically, I flip through photos of Mike on my phone. There are many with Mike and Elsa. She spent a lot of time on his lap. She had a special relationship with him. She always greeted him when he came home. She greets me, but always with a ball in her mouth. She's glad to see me because there is something I can do for her. Today, for the first time, she greeted me when I came home from the dentist without a ball.

Darby called asking for a ride to the airport Friday morning. They have to be there by 6 am. They will be staying in Honolulu for two weeks while Patrick gets treatment for his melanoma.

Another day went by without Elsa's bath. I have been good up to now, every Saturday for several weeks. I am four days late. It looks like I will skip this week. I gave her flea protection last night. This means I can't bathe her until Saturday. Perfect.

I spoke to my friend Jean in Arizona. The other day she told me her mom fell twice. The second time she broke some bones and was taken to the hospital. Oh, boy. When a ninety-one-year-old with some dementia breaks bones, it doesn't bode well. Jean was in grief over the prospect of losing her mom. She has been very involved with her care, visiting her regularly. It will feel like a great loss.

Monday, November 8, 2021

I stayed in bed till after 6:30 am. I had trouble falling asleep last night; I was overstimulated from the day. There was Damon's announcement that he wasn't coming over Christmas, there was the work Tommy did on Mike's computer, and there was the impact of the Netflix series, Offspring. Once I did fall asleep, I felt pretty well.

Yesterday, Tommy came over to work on an old computer of Mike's. I asked Tommy to do this a while ago. It seemed a shame to have it just sit here unused. Mike's computer was a Microsoft. To get into it, Tommy either needed his password or some special permission from Microsoft. The chore was put off for quite a while. The computer just sat on the dining room table.

Then Mama K's computer broke when her middle school daughter fell while carrying it, cracking the screen. This put a fire under me. I told her I would give her this one.

Tommy got into Mike's computer by removing the hard drive from the Microsoft computer, putting into some gadget, and connecting it to an Apple computer. Apple isn't as strict about letting people in. Tommy told me to look at the files and see what I wanted to save. I saw some I recognized and wanted to keep: Mike's books and his thesis. As I thought of deleting his other files permanently, I was devastated. These were all work files; Mike poured his heart into his work. Deleting those files felt like erasing him. He's no longer around to renew his imprint. At some point, his visible mark on this earth will fade to nothing. His uncredited impact will go on forever. God, he was a wonderful man. Tommy stood over me as I wept. He told me we could save those files on an external hard drive. Ah, I had two. Tommy tested the two hard drives I presented to him. Neither was good anymore. I was going to have to buy a new one. I needed 500 something or another.

Even though I slept well last night, I needed my mid-morning nap. My upper back started hurting me again. I iced it as I napped. The cryotherapist made me aware my back was inflamed. Her treatment made me feel much better. I was reasonably sure that it became inflamed because of overusing my right arm. I always hold my walking stick in it. Each time the stick touches the ground, those muscles in my mid-back feel the impact. Also, I do a lot of right-clicking when doing FreeCell and hitting the space bar. My poor right side. I also believe the problem is because I lean too much to the right. I had set up my 'old lady chair' with pillows to force me to lean more toward my left. The pillows slipped, creating an equal surface. I rearranged them to create a cliff for my left hip to fall off. Also, I stopped using the walking stick now to give my back relief. The combination of strategies seemed to be helping.

I called Damon twice. I left a voice mail both times. I told him I was okay with never seeing him again as long as I lived. I've made my peace with not seeing any of my family living on the mainland again for one reason or another. What hurt was the thought that he wouldn't come out if I was very sick or dying. I heard him saying, "Yvette's there to take care of her. I don't have to go." As I walked, I wept. I told him it wasn't his responsibility to protect me from disappointment in the second phone message. I wouldn't feel this way if I didn't feel he loved me and allowed me to love him.

Much to my surprise, Damon called me. He never calls from work. He assured me that he would come if I was in medical distress. Then he explained that he hadn't come in for his mother's open heart surgery because she assured him it wasn't necessary. I doubt I would be that generous.

Damon told me an old girlfriend had gotten hold of him. She lives in Seattle and is head of some municipal agency that persuades film companies to do their work there. I am suspicious about why she wants to get in touch with Damon. It couldn't be for work because his company only does animation. It doesn't need a 'location.'

Tommy passed me in his Jeep as I did my walk. He and Brian were coming by today to install my new WIFI system. I warned him that I would be out till about 10. He said they wouldn't be here before that.

I had an 8:30 am appointment with the inlayer. I was so discombobulated I had trouble remembering how to get there. This was scary. Getting lost in a familiar setting is not a good sign at my age. However, I had been crying most of the morning. And then I had this great relief when Damie called me. He stayed on for quite a while. He finally had to go because he was in the middle of a meeting. The man has a very stressful job. Fortunately, he enjoys the work.

I had terrible problems communicating with the lady I contacted about the inlaying for Mike's gravestone. I thought it might be something I was doing. No way. This woman has such problems with communication she's certifiable. How does she function in that job?

In our original conversation, she told me she wouldn't be able to do the superscript two. Mike had two Ph.Ds. His students called him Doc Squared. It was so Mike. She said if the two was too small, it would fall through. Since the only thing we had talked about was the background slab, which would have carved out spaces for the letters to fit into. I didn't see how that could be a problem. If the background piece was lying flat, how could something small 'fall through." Okay, today, she explained it would fall through the carving machine into some space where it would become inaccessible. My first question is how large the font size must be for the superscript 2 to be big enough not to fall through. That's my question. This woman couldn't answer the question. I can't imagine the inlayers can't answer it. She said I needed to present the design. Does she know someone who does that work? No.

Then she told me I had to pick out another stone for the fill. Why did I have to pick it out now when I was still just contemplating using this approach? Ah, that would determine the price of the work, which depended on the cost of the stone. Which was the cheapest? Granite. I told her to say it was granite. I finally got what I wanted. She had a printout of the design, the type of stone and size I was planning to use for the background slab, and the type of stone I planned to use for the inlay. I hoped I could find out if the background slab would be large enough to accommodate the subscript two with this information. I had to figure the process out and what information I needed to give the company. Pretty incredible experience.

Then off to Office Max to pick up extremal drive. Tommy said I needed to save Mike's files. The clerk at Office Max said they didn't carry an external drive with less than 1 of something. I called Tommy to have him talk to the guy. Tommy said yes to the clerk's suggestion. I stood wondering how expensive that would be. I thought several hundred dollars. It wasn't anything near that, a mere $50.

Next, I headed over to the bank. Since I was going to the shopping center where Long's was, I thought, "Good idea to check on their Hersey's milk chocolate kiss with whole almonds." Good thing I did. They were on sale. I got all four 10 oz bags of kisses and one bag of nuggets. I prefer the kisses because their smaller.

The line at the bank wasn't bad, and there were a lot of tellers on duty. I cashed a check I got from one of my clients. Most prefer to pay via Venmo. Then I went home to nap.

I set my alarm from 10:55 to be ready for my 11 am Reading Office hours. Fortunately, I woke up from my nap before eleven. I still waited until my alarm went off when I heard the radio announce it was two minutes after 11. What!!!?

The Acuity announcement was confusing. Something about the Spanish book club signed up. I usually get people's names. Also, it said it would start at 11 am. I typically start at 11 am, but the mainland had the fall time change on Saturday. Now, there is a two-hour difference. When there was a three-hour difference, 11 am for me was 2 pm in LA. If the time stayed the same, their 2 pm would be noon for me. Why did Acuity tell me my office hours were still at 11? The best I could figure out, they changed the time for the folks in LA. Now, they can get to me at 1 pm their time instead of 2. I needed to inform Julia. That may not be good for the folks in LA.

I signed on to the Zoom meeting a few minutes late. There were two women on. The older of the two announced she volunteered for any number of things. She did the English and the Spanish book clubs and something else. She said the tutors she was working with needed a refresher course on phonics. I demonstrated The Phonics Discovery System. This poor woman couldn't shut up. Whenever I said, she said she did it already and detailed how. However, it wasn't anything like what I was doing. When I asked the ladies if they knew what phonemes were, the talkative one gave a wrong answer. When I explained what they were, she reeled off her knowledge of linguistics. I stayed calm. At one point, I told her that what she was doing was good work. However, was she interested in what I had to offer? The other woman laughed out loud. The talker was quiet for a while but no longer looked at the screen.

I was calm and peaceful, and reasonably gentle. I asked that question quietly and, I hope, softly, as if it was an honest question instead of snarky. Here's the thing: she reminded me of who I used to be. I understood that her behavior is fear-driven. I handled her as directly and gently as I could. She really didn't understand what I was doing. I demonstrated how students could determine how many syllables are in a word from the sound. She said she did it by highlighting the syllables. Not a clue. In one case, the teacher showed the students the information; in the other case, the teacher showed the students how to figure out the information. I think the other woman got a lot out of the session. The woman in charge said she would have her tutors watch my video. I said I was happy to meet with the tutors and answer questions. She said no, the students wouldn't do well with it. I reminded her we were talking about the tutors. Oh, yes. We made an appointment for me to meet with them on November 17 at 5 pm.

Brian and Tommy spent several hours installing the new WIFI system. We'll see how it goes. It's expensive to install.

Sunday, November 7, 2021

I had a troubled night’s sleep. I was agitated because of two of the characters on Offspring. I think the series is excellent, but the neurosis of those two women is too close to mine. It’s triggering me. Sort of the opposite of soothing music.

I had the third session of the week with sisters W &M. First-grade M worked on a combination of Phase I and Phase II on the words in the story she wrote. She decoded the words because and hungry. Then I had her read a Carpenter story she had read only once or twice before and was still struggling with. Then I moved her into Carpenter story #7, which she had never read before. She worked her way through that. I can see her reading has improved. Moreover, her confidence has improved, her willingness to take on a challenge. We will be moving through the material much more quickly from here on in.

W worked on her story and then some reading. There has been a complete change in her attitude. When we started the cowriting activity, she pleaded she couldn’t write stories. Yesterday, I managed to pull ideas for a story out of her. I wrote down anything that came out of her mouth. It didn’t have to be sequential; she could put down two contradictory ideas, anything. It was going to need work to be a structured story. I read her notes out loud. Before she started to dictate, I told her we had to set the scene, to begin with. We had to tell the audience where the story was taking place and who, or what, was in it. I assumed I would have to give her a frame of reference paragraph after paragraph. Once she got started, she soared through the story. It wasn’t quite the same as her original one was, but it was a well-structured story. I left the editing for our next session. We have to reread the story and see if there is any place it doesn’t hang together, or we want to include more detail. This is the part she doesn’t like to do. My goal is to get her excited about the craft of writing.

For the rest of the session, W and I worked on reading. I continued with the sixth-grade material since she did so well on it yesterday. She read two paragraphs. While she read them perfectly, only missing the word for reading it as of, she hates doing it. I need to find out what she experiences and see if I can help her overcome that negative feeling.

My neighborhood friend called to tell me the results of her husband’s melanoma diagnosis. The biopsies proved that his case wasn’t that bad. The lesion on his arm didn’t qualify for a rating; the one on his back was at a level two. I shared her alarm at the original news. I mentioned the diagnosis to several friends. Three told me stories of people they knew who recovered without further incidence. I passed that news on to my friend. Those reports were good news, but nothing compares to the good news from the doctor.

Damon called to say he would not be coming for Christmas. My guess is this is what has been weighing on me, making me feel lousy. He’s been sitting on this news for several days, avoiding the moment when he had to break the news to me. I suspect that his burden has weighed me down. Yes, I believe people can be impacted by the thoughts of others, when it involves them. Based on my experience, when people come to mind unexpectedly and repeatedly, I find out they’ve been thinking of me. Once contact is made, the intrusive thoughts stop. Some are angry at me or want to resolve an issue, not necessarily in my favor.

On the other hand, some people are so encapsulated that they don’t think of the other person, or their energy is so confined that they never impact others. Poor Damie Doo. I felt sad, but I wouldn’t hold it against him. I’m thrilled he even felt bad about having to tell me. Also, the only reason I feel bad is that I have a wonderful relationship with him. I assured him I wasn’t counting on it (while looking forward to it). I know how his life goes.

He can’t come because of a change in the schedule at work. Damon is a producer at a movie studio. The film he has been working on is just about ready for release. The musical score had to be included. That work was supposed to happen in early December. Damon would fly to London to meet with the composer and be back in time to have a few weeks before flying to Hawaii for Christmas. The schedule changed to later in December. The family decided to make it a travel event as well. His wife has a good college friend who lives in the Cotswold’s. They will visit her and do some sightseeing. They will fly back to the states on December 24. They will need a break. He promises to come in either January or over spring break. As I said about this Christmas visit, I’ll believe it when I see it. He hasn’t been here since we interred Mike in February of 2020, right before the pandemic took off.

Saturday, November 6, 2021

As I returned from my early morning walk, I saw something bright blue moving on the street before me. It looked like the poop bag I used this morning. Why was it moving? There was a breeze, but that didn't account for the range of movement. A bird had it in its beak and was trying to do something with it. I can't imagine what a bird could do with a blue plastic bag with poop in it at this time of year. It November. Nest building is out.

I found myself tired without explanation. Was it because I dropped a set of supplements from

DoTerra or was this emotional? I felt much better after my session with the W &M sisters that was later than usual to work around the family's various sport team events. I guess that answers the question.

The work energized me; it was stimulating. With first grade W, I started with Phase I on the words in a story she had written. While it felt fun yesterday, it felt a little grueling today. When we first started working together, I used an approach involving a lot of repetition. I had her read the graded Carpenter stories based on word families. She had trouble recalling words. Then I added on Story #2 and then #3. Each session, I had her start with Story #1 and read all three. The first story took half an hour in our first session. She eventually was able to read the first three stories in fifteen minutes. When she was ready for story #4, I dropped story #1. When I added on story # 5, I dropped story #2.

I always started with the stories she was familiar with to build confidence. Today, I decided to start with story #5, which she was still struggling with. She did very well. I went to Story #6, which she hadn't read before. She marched through that. While she was doing that work, I frantically tried to find Stories #7 and #8 to use with her. It was time to have her work with unfamiliar material regularly. Fortunately, she took a long time working on the story because I couldn't find the higher-level ones. I did have her read Story #4 mostly to cover my ass.

With 5th grade W, I worked on story writing. This is a bright, imaginative child. So far, what she has produced is as dry as it comes. I told her to think of an object any object. She thought of a black cup. Ok, where is this cup? In a house, if so, which room? Where in the room? Is there a person present? If not, why not. I kept telling her to just watch the movie in her head and describe it. She finally started producing some details that were worthy of a story. This was a prewriting activity; I just had her throw ideas against the wall to see what would stick. We were going to have to create a structured story out of her notes. Her mother told me she doesn't like to finish something. She just wants to do what impulse directs her to. She needs both to succeed in life.

After she produced something that felt like the bones for a complete story, I switched to the reading activity. She had been reading Barnell Loft material at a fifth-grade level. When I had the file open on the Zoom Screen Share, I pressed control F to search the document for her initials. That's how I mark where someone is in the file. I was left with a blank screen. All my work on this document was gone. I tried hitting control Z. That did nothing. I groaned. It took a lot of time to copy the whole book from the hard copy. I needed it because it was the only way to see the same material, literally be on the same page. I knew I had already prepared some of the next higher level, on sixth grade. She did as well as at this level as she had done on the mid-fifth grade level.

Despite my promise to myself that I wouldn't continue watching Offspring because of its negative impact on my nervous system, I couldn't resist. I promised myself that I would fast-forward through scenes where the two sisters acted out their massive insecurities. This must have been the season finally: there was a death of a beloved life partner and the birth of a child. Everyone responded appropriately. I wasn't triggered by their inadequacies. I was, however, triggered by the death. I sat there and sobbed.

_____-_____-_____

Musings:

People deny that black people are treated differently by the police than white people. Where are all the similar stories of police treatment of whites? Where is the video of a white person being treated like George Floyd? However, there are examples of white people being treated differently. Dylan Roof wasn't beaten for what he did when he sat in a group of black people in a church and massacred as many as he could in the hope of starting a race war. He was put into protective custody, and someone went out to buy him a hamburger. How would a black man have been treated if he had done something comparable in a white church? I hear you saying Dylan Roof was obviously a disturbed young man in need of help. True. He was- is. Question: would a black man, obviously disturbed, be treated the same way. The record speaks for itself. Black people are shot for just being mentally ill.

I'm writing this because I just heard two stories of men who had strokes and were arrested for the crime of sitting in the cars looking peculiar and left in jail cells for hours before someone called for medical aid. They both had pulled over when they felt ill. They weren't doing anything harmful to another person. The police assumed the worst and preceded accordingly. Anyone who wants to argue they weren't treated that way because they were black, find a similar story about this happening to a white person – even one. I'm at a complete loss to understand how people deny that black people are treated differently from white people. I'd like to see one example, no less an instance of an incident for a white person for every black. We need evidence of a one-to-one ratio to show the police are equal opportunity harassers.

My guess is some people will argue that black people are inherently worse people than white people. That is prejudice; assuming that one person is worse than the other simply because they are not of your tribe is prejudice. When the police confront a black man, the assumption is he is guilty of something. When they confront a white man in a comparable situation, the assumption is that he must be innocent. This is a bias.

Friday, November 5, 2021

I lay awake before it was time to get up. I applied the acupuncture pen for about half an hour before I got up. It always helps. Amazing!

As I sat on my bed putting one my toe sling, Elsa sat at my feet, placing her ball confidently for me to see, pick up and throw. She is so clever. She puts her ball in my shoes or clothes (if they are on the floor) to make sure I see it. I had already put on my left pink Croc; the other leg was pulled up to access my toes. She put the ball in one of the red Crocs. Noting that I had a pink Croc on already, she took the ball out of the red Croc and moved it to the right pink one. She is so smart.

This morning, I talked with one of my walking friends who is struggling over her will. She has two sons: one is fiscally responsible, the other not at all. How to write the will? For reasons I couldn’t possibly explain, this situation came to mind this morning in response to a conversation we had several weeks ago. When I saw her this morning, I asked if I could share my thoughts. “Sure. I am happy to hear any suggestions.” Have you asked him if he is aware that he has problems with money and how he feels about having an executive control his funds? No. I‘m always in favor of asking people about their own thinking. I asked if this son has a history of drug use. Yes. Oh, boy. That changes things. This poor guy is screwed up six ways from Sunday. She told me he’s a fixer; he’s been involved with one screwed-up woman after another. He got involved with one who spoke about wishing she was dead. He finally moved her out; she was dead two days later. How’s this for a melodramatic history. As we parted, I said, “Ask him. Worst case scenario, he’ll tell you to go fuck yourself. I doubt it will be the first time.”

I had a medical appointment with Kaiser at 10:45. I wanted to get a few chores done before. I left the house early. My first stop was at Texture to pick up the granite slabs I ordered for Mike’s and my gravestones. They’ve been in for a while. Getting the necessary engraving winds up being more of a challenge than I anticipated. There is only one woman in town who does engraving; she doesn’t answer phone calls. I checked out brass plating. That has to be done on the mainland and will cost $1000 per. Then there is the inlay process which I am currently exploring, which will also run $1000 per gravestone, but it will be local. I have an appointment with the woman who does that process on Monday at 8:30. She sounds like she is easily flustered. I may have problems getting the information out of her.

Eli, who manages Texture, drove off in a forklift, left the property, and returned with a flat with my two slabs. He lifted them easily and loaded them into my car. He asked me if I had anyone to unload them when I got home. I can get Yvette and/or Adam to help. Not Scott or Josh because they are both dealing with injuries. I asked how much they weighed. Seventy-five pounds. Eli lifted them easily.

My next stop was at Farm and Garden. Margo recommended a soil amendment for my hibiscus. I had to ask her what a soil amendment was- a fifty-pound bale of something like mulch. I also picked up more honey. I have never been a big fan of the stuff, but I have discovered raw honey grown here on the island. Wow! What can I tell you? It’s up there with the surprise and delight I felt when I first ate a fresh-picked peach, and I do mean freshly picked.

Mike and I were at a party in South Jersey. The host invited me to walk down his driveway to show me something. He stopped at a peach tree, picked one, and handed it to me. Oh boy! Freshly picked anything is a horse of a whole other color.

On Paulette’s advice, I stopped off at Slumber World to check out their Murphy bed. I am not sure why a Murphy bed is better than a sofa bed. Theirs is a chest that opens up to a bed. I wanted one that had a sofa attached anyway. I like the kind where the mattress is a single piece that doesn’t fold. I would think you can close the bed up with all the bedclothes on. If you can’t do that, what’s the advantage of a Murphy bed over a convertible sofa? I will have to think about this. I am clear I want a Murphy bed made of solid wood. Anything metal rusts here and forget pressboard; it disintegrates in the sea air.

I had one more stop, Costco. I had never seen it so crowded, but I wanted to see if they had vinegar. They didn’t when I was in last week. Here you got to grab stuff when it is in. This has always been the case here; with the breakdown in the supply chain, it is worse. They had vinegar and also multigrain taco chips. Yay! They didn’t have it last time I was in either. So much better than the plain ones. I picked up more blueberries and two bags of lemons. The check-out lines were off the charts. I heard people on the line saying they had never seen it this bad. It’s the beginning of the month; people get their Snap benefits and hit the aisles.

I had time to go home, unpack my purchases, put the blueberries and lemons in the refrigerator, and take a nap. Then I went out again for my appointment at the Cryotherapy Clinic.

Yvette has been singing the praises of her Cryotherapy treatments. I was impressed when she told me of the impact on a friend with serious anxiety. Assuming I don’t have a heart attack from the shock of the severe temperature drop, it seemed worth a go. I had a choice of working on a specific area or doing a whole-body treatment. I wanted to start with the smaller option to see how I felt about it. I had thought of my hip or my right wrist, which has been giving me some trouble. Nikki asked, “Where does it hurt the most?” Actually, my mid-back. I think it has suffered because of the impact of the walking stick and my attachment to FreeCell. I chose that. She had me sit on a stool with my back bared. She stood behind me and moved a stream of nitrous oxide over that area of my back. It didn’t feel particularly cold. She did it for between five and seven minutes; I can’t remember what she said. At the end, she announced that she was unable to get the temperature to the target goal. I knew my back hurt at times, but I had no idea that I was dealing with that order of inflammation. She said she hoped it would do something. I felt confident that the full body treatment wouldn’t be too much of a shock; I made an appointment. Nikki showed me the tank and gave her spiel. I will step in basically naked except for gloves and socks. The base platform will be raised so my head will be above the tank. I will be in for three minutes. She will be with me the whole time. She can stop the process at any point if I experience discomfort. Yvette said the process got her temperature down to 38⁰. I assume that was a skin temperature, not the core. Having lived in Madison, Wisconsin for five years, I adapted to 20 below when it felt like 60 below with the windchill factor. Of course, after living in Hawaii for six years, I now wear sweatshirts for a good part of the year.

I was exhausted after the busy day. I was supposed to have an appointment with the sister M & W. Damon called just before I had to sign in. I had only five minutes to talk to him. Then they didn’t sign in in a timely way. That was weird. Mom usually asked for the link minutes before the session. Today I was unusually late and no word from her. I called. They were at a doctor’s appointment. I called Damon back and headed out for one of my walks. I much preferred doing that today. When I read the whole text message, Mom was only asked for a 15-minute delay. Opps! When I contacted her, she said they were having dinner. We were all happy with canceling for the day.

I received the ‘certified check’ in a UPS envelope from my scammers. It’s like certified mail; they have proof of delivery. Now I have to figure out what to do with it. No, I have no thoughts of cashing it. I called the police station. The desk clerk recommended that I take it to the post office. I’m hoping I can take a picture of me handing it over. Darby told me when they got involved in a similar scam, the people threatened to call the police on them if they didn’t follow their directions. In Darby’s case, the check was for a service. In my case, it’s for a piece of furniture. I’m concerned the “movers’ that I’m supposed to pay will wind up at my house. I will have to be careful that I lock up everything before I leave.

The police officer I spoke to didn’t understand what I was saying immediately. Some of this was just a misunderstanding. I started by telling him I had spoken to someone at the station, probably too much information. I must have sounded agitated; I’m sure I was. He responded by telling me he was not the one I had spoken to. I must have sounded annoyed. He said, “If you don’t stop yelling at me, I will hang up.” I apologized. I’m well aware that I’m not if understood, I do something unpleasant with my voice. A very bad habit. Poor Mike had to suffer it. I don’t think I yelled, but my tone of voice changed. He would tell me not to speak to him in ‘my teacher voice.’ I try to avoid talking to students that way. I have worked most of my life to overcome this behavior. I didn’t have children because of it. It was how my mother responded whenever she didn’t get what she wanted. I hated it. I swore I wouldn’t pass it on to another generation.

When I took my evening walk, I could feel this difference in my posture as a result of the Cryotherapy. I felt particularly in the right side of my jaw.