I woke to the alarm today at 6 am. I walked Elsa, did my oil rinse. I had only a few dishes to wash this morning because I had Callender’s chicken pot pie last night. They provide their own container. I boiled 2 kettles of water for those lucky weeds: my weeds runneth over.
I came across a picture of Mike sitting on the sofa with Damon working on a NY Times Crossword puzzle. Things like that make me feel very sad. He was so happy and proud of his son. He loved having him visit. I’ll never see him happy again. I loved it when he was happy.
Lucky reader: here are more of my thought on selfishness. If agape means sacrificing yourself if you’re enjoying taking care of someone and serving them, does that mean it isn’t agape love? If I actually enjoyed being in the hospital with Mike day after day, if I enjoyed sleeping on those three chairs in the bathroom because I could be near him, does that mean it wasn’t agape love? If agape, the highest form of love, requires self-sacrifice, I hope no one feels obliged to extend that love to me. I want people around me who enjoy me and delight in my joy and happiness, not people who think they have to be in a constant state of self-sacrifice to feel worthwhile. Yuck!
I went to Bikram. I worked on the change to my breathing, moving my whole rib cage. My body didn’t want to experience much movement. Instead of fighting with it, I lay down and didn’t move for the second half of the class. Actually, I fell asleep again. I thought the combined work of the chiropractor yesterday and Bikram today was just too much change for me. I needed to give my body time to adjust. I didn’t get up at the end of the class.
Yvette came in for the 9:30 class to find me still lying on my mat. I asked her to take the walker out to the lobby because if I left in the middle of the next class, I would create a disruption. Yvette understood my intent and asked JJ if I could stay and sleep. He said yes. Nonetheless, I felt ready to leave just before the next class began. I had some trouble standing up, and Yvette had to come over and help me. That getting up and down stuff remains a challenge.
When I got home, I showered. At 10:30, I lay down on my love seat sofa converted into the anti-gravity chair, and fell asleep. I woke up at 10 of 3 and was still tired. I went to the bathroom and went back to my sofa. But no, I couldn’t fall back asleep. I got up and got to work on the blog. I’m running behind again, but I don’t care as much as I used to. It will be what it will be.
I walked Elsa. I wasn’t particularly hungry for dinner. I hadn’t even finished today’s smoothie. I had a salad and the other half of the chicken pot pie from yesterday, and one limeade, as usual; that’s my staple. I watched Silent Witness. There is considerable variation in the storyline. It’s interesting, but there isn’t much variation in the main character, Sam Ryan.
I started to work on what remained of the credit cards instead of cataloging books. I just sorted some papers. I will have to take a good look and them over the next several days. I will call one company a day to make sure things get straightened out. I do know that I haven’t been receiving statements from most of the companies, so at least they canceled the cards. I want to deal with the bonus points.
I walked Elsa again, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and went to bed. Good night, Elsa, Goodnight, Mike.
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