At Bikram today, Heather came over and told me my spine was straight. Maybe someday it will show up at the chiropractor’s too. I went to Safeway after class for bread, cheese, but no thou. When I came home, I did my Bikram laundry. Katherine was soaking her in legs Epson salts in the two Home Depot buckets I had cleaned out for her to use.
I took a long nap. I did no gardening despite my best intentions. I did do some work on the blog and catalog more books. Catherine went out for a farmer’s market. She didn’t come home for dinner. I was a little concerned. She thought to call me to say she was at friends’ home and would be home around 9. She is very considerate.
- - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Musings: I’m putting this separately so those who are not interested can choose not to read it.
I’ m experiencing an irritable response to my house guest. Being born without sin may be being born without that response to not getting our way.
Yvette brought home a stray -human being. Catherine’s a 30-year-old Swiss who is traveling the world. Yvette met her at the massage school where she works. Of course, she asked me if she could stay. Although it wasn’t clear how long she would have to be here, and I’m still not sure about how long. It has been well over three days, the limit for fish and quests.
Now, this is a lovely, considerate woman with fantastic social skills, and I am the world’s most relaxed hostess. I encourage people to make themselves comfortable. If they feel something needs to be cleaned, be my guest. I show them where the cleaning equipment is kept.
It must be over a week now that she has been in the house. She respects my privacy, leaves me alone when I signal what I want, cooks for me, and does a fantastic job cleaning up my kitchen counters straightening up and clearing some glass containers that had me stumped. I had wanted to get rid of them, but Damon told me to hold on to them because I might want to use them as fruit bowls. Let me see; we’re talking about four such dishes. Also, there were these lids that I was sure belonged to something, but I couldn’t figure out what. With her straightening, my confusion was cleared. Three of those containers are going to charity.
Despite all the positives, I am feeling some discomfort. I feel like someone is putting light pressure on my internal organs. I believe that behind that is that rage. Do I feel rage? No. I feel discomfort. Is my discomfort logical? No. Yes, she is invading my space, but not to my disadvantage. I enjoy her company. It is good to have someone in the house since Mike is gone. There is someone else for me to focus on besides just me.
Nonetheless, she is invading my space. She is an alien. She is not me. It feels like I’m wearing an ill-fitting suit. I’m aware of pressure in places I don’t normally feel it.
I would say this is what happens whenever we adjust to new circumstances, any new circumstances, spouse, babes, even animals. We have to adjust, changing either ourselves or the circumstances, so the areas of discomfort are resolved or make our peace with a certain degree of discomfort.
My guess this is what happens in all living arrangements, probably all relationships. With a partner/lover/spouse or child, we have the motivation to ride it out. As one young mother said about her newborn, “If he weren’t so cute, we’d throw him out the window.” It’s a huge adjustment, but throwing him out is not an option as it might be with a guest. We wait it out. Hopefully, we evaluate what we are adapting to, but never put up with actual abuse.
No comments:
Post a Comment